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Post-game thread: Jason Marquis outscores Giants

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You're in purgatory. You'll be a while. The magazine rack is empty. Your phone doesn't get reception. The walls are white, and you don't see a door.

Three people appear behind you. They're as confused as you. The first one says:

"Oh, good, someone to talk to! Finally! I don't know what happened...I was watching the wedding. You know, the royal wedding? And now I'm here! But did you see Prince William's cuff links or some crap?"

The second one says:

"I can empathize. I was watching the NFL Draft, which I just live for. I found myself here, and now I'm not sure if the Ravens took that linebacker from Middle Tennessee that I had them grabbing in my mock draft. Well, one of them. Version 5.4, I think."

The third one says:

"I can describe in detail each one of Jason Marquis's 96 pitches. I can tell you how far it broke and how fast it was going. I'll tell you the result of every pitch. I will only do this once, and then we can talk about other things."

Who do you talk to?