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Trading Nate Schierholtz

Besides, he's engaged to the managing partner of the team. It'd be totally awkward to trade him.
Besides, he's engaged to the managing partner of the team. It'd be totally awkward to trade him.

First reaction to the rumor that the Giants would listen to trade offers for Nate Schierholtz:

Grant Brisbee announced today that he was considering putting his collection of Sir Mix-a-Lot cassettes on eBay.

"Well, while I enjoy listening to ‘Seminar’ every now and again, I wanted to see if there was someone who would give me a fair price for this copy of ‘Return of the Bumpasaurus’ with a coffee stain on it."

Good luck with that trade. I look forward to seeing what number they issue Future Considerations.

Second reaction: Of all the fourth and fifth outfielders in baseball, Schierholtz’s skill set might be the most complementary of the lot. He plays fantastic defense (on a team that needs a late-inning defensive replacement), he’s left-handed (on a team with two right-handed corner outfielder), and he has good speed (on a team that trends toward water buffalo). If you were to draw up a fifth outfielder for the Giants -- with the stipulation that he couldn’t be good enough to start -- that’d be Nate.

It’s a shame that he can’t hit. If I didn’t have access to his PCL stats, I’d guess he was a .270/.300/.420 hitter in AAA, not the .325/.362/.569 guy he actually was. At no point have I watched multiple Schierholtz at-bats in the same game and thought he was about to make some sort of developmental leap. There was probably a time when it made sense to start him and see if he could break out-- on a 90-loss team that’s busy futzing around with Dave Roberts, say -- but he’s a connoisseur’s fifth outfielder, perfect for the role.

Trading Schierholtz would either open up a spot for Darren Ford or Travis Ishikawa on the roster when Andres Torres returns, and that’s just not a priority. The vrooom was memorable, and I have about 13,328 more Ishikawa’s-walk-against-Kimbrel references in me, but Schierholtz is a better fit for the roster. You laugh at the Sir Mix-a-Lot tape until you open the glove compartment before a road trip and find some Nelson and Eve 6.

If there's something I'm missing, some permutation that allows for Brandon Belt to get 400 at-bats at center-first base by exchanging Schierholtz for something of value, I'm listening. But of all the players on the Giants' bench -- DeRosa, Fontenot, Rowand, Whiteside, and Schierholtz -- Nate is the one who fits perfectly. DeRosa is limited to the corners without the power to carry him there. Fontenot lacks in range on a team with a street sign for a shortstop. Rowand is repetitive, as he's just Cody Ross with a few more miles on him. Whiteside is a backup catcher straight from central casting

Schierholtz fits. And it's not like another team is going to turn on the prospect hose to extinguish the fire that Nate Schierholtz has started in their heart. You're talking middling reliever, a Joe Martinez AAAA starter type, or a PTBNL, tops. If that's the market value, I don't see the point at all.