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So, About Those Willie Bloomquist Rumors

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Fan: Brandon Crawford might be okay with the bat one of these days. But Reyes is good now. He's young, and he can be the lead-off hitter that Sabean Wants.

Other Fan: I'm thinking if you can get Beltran and Rollins for the price of one Reyes, it's not even a choice. That's what you have to do.

Fan: I can see that.

The Offseason runs into the room, wearing a wrestling mask, no shirt, and a sequined cape. He is holding a Willie Bloomquist.

Fan: OH CRAP THE OFFSEASON

The Offseason wildly swings the Willie Bloomquist around his head like a mace. Dishes shatter. Light bulbs break. Shelves collapse.

Other Fan: OH GOD RUN AHHHHHH

The Offseason: YEARRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Fan: Oh, oh, agggghhhh, oh god, I've been hit ... my leg ... oh, god, the blood ...

Other Fan: You have to come with me! Take my hand!

Fan: Dammit, just run. RUN. I'll just slow you down.

Other Fan: I can't.

Fan: GET OUT OF HERE

Fan is overcome by the Willie Bloomquist, choking on the dirt from his uniform.

From Jon Heyman:

Come on, Arizona ties. They really are hard to forget.