Fan: Brandon Crawford might be okay with the bat one of these days. But Reyes is good now. He's young, and he can be the lead-off hitter that Sabean Wants.
Other Fan: I'm thinking if you can get Beltran and Rollins for the price of one Reyes, it's not even a choice. That's what you have to do.
Fan: I can see that.
The Offseason runs into the room, wearing a wrestling mask, no shirt, and a sequined cape. He is holding a Willie Bloomquist.
Fan: OH CRAP THE OFFSEASON
The Offseason wildly swings the Willie Bloomquist around his head like a mace. Dishes shatter. Light bulbs break. Shelves collapse.
Other Fan: OH GOD RUN AHHHHHH
The Offseason: YEARRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
Fan: Oh, oh, agggghhhh, oh god, I've been hit ... my leg ... oh, god, the blood ...
Other Fan: You have to come with me! Take my hand!
Fan: Dammit, just run. RUN. I'll just slow you down.
Other Fan: I can't.
Fan: GET OUT OF HERE
Fan is overcome by the Willie Bloomquist, choking on the dirt from his uniform.
From Jon Heyman:
Come on, Arizona ties. They really are hard to forget.