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On the topic of ballpark promotions....

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As someone who is weak and easily influenced, I‘ve spent hundreds of dollars on World Series-related memorabilia for myself and others. Nothing says "I love you" quite like a World Series Champions bedpan. And if you don’t need something that reminds you explicitly of the World Series, you could always get a $10,000 glass bat, apparently designed by The Riddler. It was game used by Aaron Rowand, though the copy somehow left that out. If I stop buying that latte from Starbucks every day, I should be able to save $10,000 in, oh, three or four weeks. I’m on it.

But I did get everything else I could, from DVDs to sweatshirts to coffee mugs. I can't help myself. So one of my favorite parts of the offseason is when the Giants announce their promotional schedule because I just don’t have enough Giants-related stuff in my house. Sure, I’m all into my San Francisco Giants Mr. Potato Head right now, but who’s to say where I’ll be by April? Here are my favorite highlights of the promotional schedule:

Sun, April 24 - World Champion Replica Trophy

Fri, May 6 - Willie Mays’ 80th Birthday Party/Mays Statue Replica

Sun, July 10 - Buster Posey Bobblehead

Sun, July 24 - Giants Fedora Hat

Quick notes:

  • I have no idea what size the replica trophy will be. Big enough to drink a glass of wine out of? Because I would bring it to restaurants and pay the corkage charges if I needed to. Wait, maybe the wine would spill out of the sides. Then I'd go to the movies and demand that the popcorn be put in my replica trophy. This is probably the #1 promotional giveaway of the year for me. You could wear it around your neck like Flavor Flav. You could put strap it to your head and walk around like the Pope. There are a ton of possibilities. I want one.
  • The Mays statue replica is a great idea, and I’m eager to see what that looks like. Like the trophy, I don’t know how big it is, but it’s safe to assume it will be life-sized.
  • The Posey bobblehead will be anarchy. People are already lined up right now, and they will stab you if you sneak ahead of them. The Pablo and Lincecum bobbleheads were like a bread line out of the Great Depression – Posey’s will be that and then some. Heck, I’ll just predict a Disco Demolition Derby kind of melee. At least one person will be stabbed. It could be you. But you’ll buy a ticket anyways because Buster Posey, that's why.
  • The fedora sounds…interesting. I read that bands like Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and Squirrel Nut Zippers are back in – really, here's the article – so this couldn’t come at a better time. Also of note: a Google Image Search result for "Giants fedora" brings back this. Of course it does.

There are others that might appeal to you -- pins, socks, belt buckles, shirts, Snuggie-type wearable blankets. It should be noted that my suggested promotion – "Stand Next to Buster Posey For a Few Minutes and Ask Him Some Questions, Shake His Hand, Stare At Him Uncomfortably, and Smell What Kind of Shampoo He Uses, You Know, Just Take It In" Day – was not included, and there doesn’t seem to be any evidence that it was even considered, despite countless letters and e-mails. There’s always next season. And the whole experience did give me an idea for a new site tagline: "McCovey Chronicles: Giants fandom from a court-ordered 500 feet away."

So here’s a comment starter: There’s a bobblehead for both Aubrey Huff and Cody Ross next year. That’s a sentence that would read like alien script to a time traveler from last January. So predict your random bobbleheads for next year. I’ll go with Mark DeRosa and Rickie Weeks. Makes as much sense now as Huff/Ross did back then.