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Post-game thread: Giants stun Dodgers, make me dance around my house like a methed-out goat

Padres: Here. Take it. We don’t want it anymore.

Giants: Yuck. Don’t try to pass your leftovers on us.

Padres: Don’t be a jerk. It’s a perfectly good division.

Giants: We’ll figure something out. We don’t need your charity.

Padres: Oh, please. Don’t be a martyr. Take the stupid division.

Rockies: We’ll take it. Can we have it?

Giants: We’ll find our own division to win. We don’t need your hand-me-downs.

Padres: Just take it. You know you want it.

Rockies: We’ll take it.

Giants: Seriously, just stop. We don’t want it. Keep it. You might need it some day.

Rockies: We’ll take it.

Padres: I’ll just leave it here, and I’m not going to pick it back up. So if it stays here...

Giants : Well, I guess it’s just going to stay there.

Rockies: We’ll take it.

Padres: Fine. Then just leave it there. No one will have it, then.

Giants: Fine.

Rockies: We’ll take it.

Padres: Fine.

Giants: Fine.

Rockies: So we’ll just take this then.

Padres leave...

Giants: Hey, uh, Juan. Can you keep an eye on that for a while?

Juan Uribe: Yep.

Rockies: Wait, what are you doing? We’ll take that. We don’t mind.

Juan Uribe: Keeping an eye on that thing. Stay back.

Rockies: Take it easy. We’re cool.

Diamondbacks: I like turtles.