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Post-game thread: Giants win a one-run game against the Padres. No, seriously.

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Pablo is so classy that he even thanks those who root for the Padres.
Pablo is so classy that he even thanks those who root for the Padres.

I can’t write at the moment. I did a Google Image Search for "San Diego Padres", and now I’m dancing around my office, flipping off my computer monitor and howling like some sort of manimal. Please check back for a more thorough post-game recap later.

several moments later

Ahem. Great, and now I’m all covered in catharsis. That stuff stains.

Before this game, the Giants were 11-for-76 with runners in scoring position against the Padres this year. That’s good for a .144 batting average. Hold on, though. It gets better. That number included the lone Giants win against the Padres this season, in which they went 5-for-13 with runners in scoring position. In the eight losses against the Padres this year, the Giants were 6-for-63 with runners in scoring position, which is a .095 batting average.

You might think there’s a reasonable explanation for that. Maybe the Giants were pressing too much. Maybe the Padres’ fantastic pitching staff knew how to pitch even better when they were under pressure. You can believe that. I don’t. I think the Giants have been ridiculously unlucky against the Padres this year. That doesn’t mean that the Padres aren’t anything but a good team, and it doesn’t mean that I think the Giants have outplayed the Padres. It just means that a team going 6-for-63 with runners in scoring position is almost impossible to acheive. It was orphanage-fire frustrating.

Before the 11th inning, the Giants were 0-for-8 with runners in scoring position. If they had lost, they would have been 6-for-71 with RISP in losses against the Padres. That would have been a .084 batting average. I don’t care how many Luke Gregersons or Greg Lukersons or Mike Adamseses or Adam Mikeseses or Tim Stauffers a team can pull from its nether regions in the late innings – that’s just absurdly poor luck to have a batting average that bad with runners in scoring position.

So, thank you, Juan Uribe, you beautiful, beautiful man. Thank you Pablo Sandoval for giving me hope that you’ve turned a corner for good. Thank you Buster Posey for cavorting with us mortals, and for hustling while you’re here. Thank you Madison Bumgarner for not melting down after giving up early runs, and for going seven innings to help save the bullpen. Thank you Chris Ray and Javier Lopez for dancing out of trouble. Thank you Sergio Romo and Brian Wilson for just doing Sergio Romo and Brian Wilson things. Thank you Santiago Casilla for having strikeout stuff.

Thank you, tree. Thank you, moon. Thank you, lamp post. I’m in love with the world, and I don’t care if I get a restraining order. The Giants beat the Padres! The Giants beat the Padres! The Giants beat the Padres! Juan Uribe hit a single into right field! The Giants beat the Padres and they're goin' crazy, they're goin' crazy! HEEEEEHHHERAARGGYY-OHHHHHH!''