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Post-game thread: Giants beat Padres, cause more heart palpitations

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It’s easy to overstate the importance of this game. C’mon. It’s May. So I’ll just note that this was the most important game in the history of San Francisco sports. Andres Torres > Dwight Clark. Matt Downs > Joe Montana. Don’t form an opinion on that statement just yet. Let it sink in. It’s empirically true, so don’t fight it.

If you’re hoping for more of a post-game recap than that, please note that I had to scrap seventeen different versions before the game was over.

Finally, finally, finally, the Giants were the team that had more bloops, dinks, and dunks. Finally, finally, finally, the Giants were able string together two-out hits. Finally, finally, finally, our shouldn’t-be-in-the-majors miscreants were the ones giving opposing pitchers fits. The Giants almost doubled their runs scored total against the Padres this year. This is what it feels like when doves cry.

Also of note: I think a good nickname for Brian Wilson would be Torquemada.