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I thought there would be more locusts. I was wrong there, too.
I thought there would be more locusts. I was wrong there, too.

One of the best parts about the Giants winning the World Series: going back and laughing at the steaming piles of wrong. It wasn’t nearly as funny to do the same after the Giants finished an awful year. Going back and revisiting posts that suggested that, oh, Lance Niekro was the best option for the organization at first wasn’t funny. It hurt. Well, it did before the Giants won the World Series. Now it’s funny again. That’s another fringe benefit of a championship – Dan Ortmeier references just aren’t as bittersweet as they used to be.

But back to those steaming piles of wrong. It’s funny to go back into the archives, start at the beginning of the year, and just roll around in the wrong. You might have already read this one today:

Any scenario in which the Giants contend is a scenario in which Sandoval has another outstanding season.

Whoops. Turns out Sandoval can be dreadful for most of the season, and the Giants can still come out with a division title and a shiny, shiny trophy.

The Giants' offense isn't saved. The finality of this move probably stings the most. DeRosa's ability to play the infield and the outfield allowed the Giants one more substantial move, and they blew that flexibility on a commitment to Aubrey Huff? That kind of stinks. There were better players out there.

Heh. Ahem. The lesson I’ll take away from Huff this year is that if a player has had a couple of All-Star caliber seasons in the past, and he isn’t on the wrong side of 35, maybe he deserves a little more trust. Like Edgar Renteria.

Edgar Renteria might be the worst starting position player in baseball. He’s at least in the discussion.

Well, that aged well. Though I could always counter with this post. Maybe I should edit that one and change the year to 2010. Maybe I should edit all of these and just delete this post. I can do that, you know. But I realize it would be intellectually dishonest to go back and edit a post after the fact...

I’m trying to think of a happy ending to the Bumgarner-lost-his-velocity story, but I really can’t. Not in the short-term, at least.

Wait! I thought of a happy ending! Is it too late? Is it too late to share? Because I totally thought of one. Bumgarner could get his velocity back, turn into an above-average starter down the stretch, and make four appearances in the playoffs that range from good to dominant as the Giants win their first championship in San Francisco. It’s a great endi…

Yeah. Kind of far-fetched. Just ignore that ridiculous ending.

Brian Sabean has built a terrible offensive team for the sixth-straight season, yet he has all kinds of job security. Bruce Bochy has absolutely no idea what makes a good offense good and a bad offense bad, so even in the off chance that Sabean stumbles into some offensive talent, Bochy has no clue how to use it. Pablo Sandoval ate Eugenio Velez, and now Velez is controlling Sandoval like Kuato from "Total Recall." The once-magic starting pitching is looking tired and ineffective every...single...freaking...night now.

That's not magic inside, and I demand a refund. At least hook me up with a free thing of garlic fries, please.

Maybe that was a little strong. I still don’t trust Sabean’s offensive philosophy, but I can’t hear myself complain over the sound of the World Series trophy twinkling in the sunlight.

Wrong. It was all wrong. I used logic and reason to predict that Aubrey Huff was, if anything, going to have a pleasantly mediocre year at best. I figured that Aaron Rowand had a $12M death-grip on his job, and that there wasn’t any way there would be a 119 OPS+ with Gold Glove defense coming from center field. When the Giants re-signed Bengie Molina, I thought, well, there goes any chance of the Giants getting good production from the catcher’s spot this year. And I was wrong. Beautifully, wonderfully wrong.

Of note, though, is that I didn’t have to sit in a special section as I watched the parade. They didn’t give special t-shirts to the fans who refused to be critical. I enjoyed it just as much as the blind optimist, but I can sleep at night under a warm blanket of smugness, self-satisfaction, and intellectual honesty. It’s really, really warm under here.

Comment starter: Your turn to find the stupid things you wrote. There’s a search function here. You can dig through the archives here. It took me, like, twenty seconds to find something stupid I wrote. Try to beat my record, except with stupid things you wrote!