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Post-Game Recap: The Sky is Falling

Confession: I've always kind of liked the wild card. More teams in a playoff race without going to the ridiculousness of the NBA or NHL, where regular season games mean almost nothing to the top teams in the league. The Giants almost rode a wild card berth to a championship in 2002 before the league canceled the playoffs to help fight WWII. The wild card wasn't so bad.

Right now, though, the wild card makes me feel icky. Dirty. Disgusting. The Giants are just a game back of the wild card. This wretched, putrid lineup is still close to playing a 163rd game. That shouldn't be. The universe shouldn't allow such a thing. A series like this should be the nail in the coffin, the toaster in the bathtub. After this series, the Giants and their fans should hang their heads, kick at the ground, and wait impatiently 'til next year.

Nope. The Giants are contenders. For real. And if they make the playoffs, they'll be a force to be reckoned with as long as they can avoid pitchers as good as Randy Wolf. Yep.

Just think: if the Giants squeak out a first-round victory against some hapless, sleeping division winner, we can relive this series in the NLCS! Wouldn't it be awesome to watch Matt Kemp go 16-for-12 in the NLCS?

So I'll just put this post-game recap up in the bottom of the ninth. Maybe the Giants will score ten and make me look like a big faithless jerk. Boy, that would be embarrassing. And maybe Clint Eastwood will jump down on the field before the last run scores, running around and carrying a huge picture of me as a four-year-kid trying on my mom's high heels in the nude. Boy, that would be embarrassing. I'll just worry about both equally likely outcomes all night.