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Picking an All-Star Team

Have you ever tried to fill out an All-Star roster? The way it’s supposed to be, with one All-Star from every team? This is my first try.

Good gravy. It sucks. You know what, A’s and Cubs? You screw everything up. Go away.

My feeble attempt, after spending more than an hour staring at stats and rosters:


Brian McCann
Yadier Molina

Albert Pujols
Adrian Gonzalez
Joey Votto
Prince Fielder

Chase Utley
Freddy Sanchez
Orlando Hudson

Hanley Ramirez
Miguel Tejada

David Wright
Ryan Zimmerman
Pablo Sandoval

Raul Ibanez
Hunter Pence
Ryan Braun
Brad Hawpe
Justin Upton
Carlos Beltran

Tim Lincecum
Matt Cain
Dan Haren
Yovani Gallardo
Josh Johnson
Chad Billingsley
Javier Vazquez
Ted Lilly
Jonny Cueto
Joel Pineiro

Heath Bell
Jonathan Broxton
Francisco Rodriguez


Victor Martinez
Joe Mauer
Mike Napoli

Kevin Youkilis
Miguel Cabrera
Mark Teixeira
Russell Branyan

Ben Zobrist
Ian Kinsler

Derek Jeter
Jason Bartlett

Evan Longoria
Scott Rolen

Torii Hunter
Nick Markakis
Carl Crawford
Jason Bay
Johnny Damon
Jermaine Dye

Zach Grienke
Roy Halladay
Justin Verlander
Felix Hernandez
Cliff Lee
Dallas Braden
Josh Beckett
Jered Weaver
Kevin Slowey

Bobby Jenks
Jonathan Papelbon
Joe Nathan
Mariano Rivera

Don’t like it? Your pet player didn’t make it? I missed someone so obvious it hurts? I don’t care. This was beyond a waste of my time. This player can’t make the team because that team needs a representative. This player has to make the team because he leads the league in home runs, but that would mean there are a zillion players at one position. This catcher needs to make it because you can’t have just one catcher.


I’m assuming the managers for each team will feel the same way. And they won’t care about the criticism either, as they’ll have spent seventeen hours doing the same damned thing I was just doing.


Your All-Star picks, if you would. Note that the rosters are up to 33 players now, which is 20 position players and 13 pitchers.