Don't worry, folks. This is the new, improved, old Barry Zito, who throws a sneaky quick 89 mph and breaks off nasty 12-6 curves. His changeup and fastball are different speeds now, which helps quite a bit. He'll be able to guide the Giants to another series win.
I hope.
I mean, what, an unproven journeyman spot-starter is going to dominate the Giants' offense and outpitch a former Cy Young winner? Yeah, right. Do you get phone service on the planet you live on, weirdo? Us reality-based folks down here on Earth know how unlikely that is. Pfft.
(...sigh...)