The annual tradition is back for the first time! The Giants will certainly make a free agent mistake soon, and the following rankings are an attempt to determine which mistake is the likeliest. This is not for wagering purposes, though what I don't know doesn't hurt me.
And I'm not really in an especially bad or cynical mood today, but grumpy and cynical is all this idea seems to evoke....
- Jermaine Dye -- OF -- (No change)
Still the reigning champ. He's from the Bay Area, he's a veteran, he seems like a good player if you're only interested in HR and RBI, and the argument against him is based in advanced statistical measures. What's not for Sabean to like?
- Ivan Rodriguez -- C -- ↑
A true slugger and middle-of-the-order force! I'm sure that if he were to hit only for a mediocre batting average, there's no way he'd start over Posey, right? Right? He's a fast riser.
- Johnny Damon -- OF -- ↓
He's still a good hitter, so he might be the most palatable player on this list, but he's basically Fred Lewis with more power and better stage presence, so it'll be a shame to watch him get a 2/$24M contract and Lewis traded for a PTBNL.
- Xavier Nady -- OF -- ↑
Another guy with local ties, poor defense, and multiple warning signs. It's been a while since the Giants had a player they could call "X-Man." Dax Jones, we hardly knew ye.
- Rafael Betancourt -- RP -- ↑
He's only scary because he'd give the Giants' first-round pick to the Rockies. The Giants were linked to him based on quality fifth-hand information, so he's a fast riser.
- Miguel Tejada -- SS/3B -- ↓
If the idea were to sign the rangeless Tejada to a short-term deal to replace the rangeless Renteria, I'd be all for the move, especially if it came with a Nick Johnson signing. I'm pretty sure, though, the idea is to sign Tejada to a multi-year deal to play third while keeping Renteria right where he is. Fortunately, Extra Baggs doesn't think that Sabean has ever been interested.
- Jason Kendall -- C -- ↑
A fast riser because he'd play 150 games and lead off when Velez doesn't start. Bochy would lock himself in the bathroom and write Kendall's name onto a lineup card even during off days.
- Hank Blalock -- 3B? -- ↓
Clank whiff clank whiff whiff hack flail whiff clank double. He just might turn into the next George Brett, though, so I'm a holdin' onto his rookie cards just in case. Still, I haven't heard his name connected with the Giants much, so he's dropping like a stone. It's probably the left-handed thing that's scaring the Giants away, which is probably a legit thing to watch out for.
- Marlon Byrd -- OF -- ↓
Like Blalock, he hasn't come up much in recent Giants-related rumors, so he drops. It would be a perfect, perfect Sabean move though. There's no way Sabean would have given a 28-year-old Byrd a chance when the outfielder was free. That would be as crazy as...as...giving John Bowker a chance! Just nutty. Nope, Sabean prefers to wait until the free and available talent is established, on the decline, and expensive. And, saaaaay, is that a .329 on-base percentage? Hawt.
- Jason Bay -- OF -- ↓
The future DH is too expensive. Rumor has it he might even want Rowand money.
Comment starter: complaints about these rankings, or discussion about your favorite cocktails (recipes encouraged). Either way.