Sabean: I think that the problem is that we aren’t making productive outs.
Bochy: Yeah. Maybe.
Sabean: Maybe I’ll ask Scooter in the quantative analysis department to help.
gets Scooter on the phone
Hey, Scooter? Remember when I told you to ‘cram that abacus up your ass’ and physically removed you from my office when you tried to show me ‘statistical evidence’? Yeah, sorry about that. My bad. I’ll pick up your latte next time. Anyways, I need to know if the Dodgers scored so much because they got runners over to third with grounders to second more than we did. Is that accurate?
Scooter: No. No, it isn’t. Actually, you did better than the Dodgers when it came to productive outs as a whole, but you also did better advancing the runner to third with the first out of an inning. In fact, the Giants did better than the league average in that particular situation.
Sabean: Thanks. What about sacrifice bunts?
Scooter: Well, you had fewer than the Dodgers, but you were right at the league average. I should point out that the Reds led the league in both sacrifice attempts and success ratio, but they were just as bad as the Giants when it came to scoring runs.
Sabean: Wow. That isn’t how I remember it, but I guess I was wrong. Thanks for the information. So in your opinion, why did the 2009 Giants have trouble scoring runs?
Scooter: They had the worst on-base percentage in the league, and it was a pretty big gap between the Giants and the next worst team. That’s the biggest reason. By far.
Sabean: Okay, thanks.
Nerd. But it sure sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. So, Bruce, I guess we should brainstorm as to how we can fix the team on-base percentage. If we were to acquire players with more patience, maybe it would have a domino effect on…
Why is this such a crazy dream? Why can’t this happen? Why is this a fictional exercise? Why? Why? Why?
How can people who control the fate of a multi-million business not have someone research if the Giants were really worse at situational hitting? How? How? How? I just did it on my lunch hour with the assistance of a free website.
You know, I’m still holding out hope that there really will be a change in organizational philosophy this offseason, and that all of the kerfluffle about "situational hitting" is just a smokescreen for the average fan. Nuts to all of you. I’m clinging onto that belief like it’s a lifejacket. It’s the only thing that makes sense, and I really need a world that makes sense. This offseason is going to be great. Just you watch.