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Beware the Sarchasm

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Longtime readers of this site have probably picked up on a little secret. Heck, folks who have been reading for a couple of weeks know the score. When someone or something is praised on my site, everything goes to hell. I'm sure in a previous life, I wrote something like, "Man, those Romans! What an empire!", a commenter posted "LOLWVT?", and then the Roman Empire fell. I'm not superstitious; I just think that my opinions and thoughts control world events. We know what happens when I designate specific O_timism D_ys -- tears and corpses, not necessarily in that order.

So allow me to write about this awful bullpen with which the Giants are saddled. Good gravy; it's 2004 all over again.

  • Keiichi Yabu has been a disaster of a long reliever. He can't throw strikes, and his arm isn't durable. That's all a team needs for a long reliever, but Yabu can't even provide that.
  • Jack Taschner is bad enough as is, but why do the Giants think they can get by without a second lefty specialist to pitch 1/3rd of an inning every other day? Sooner or later, the organizational arrogance will catch up with them.
  • Merkin Valdez just isn't getting it done. I can't find the link, but there were reports that he was throwing in the low-80s in winter ball. How do you give someone a bullpen job -- a high-leverage bullpen job, at that -- when the pitcher in question has a combination of inexperience and a limp fastball? Unbelievable.
  • Tyler Walker: oh, this is a great idea. Let's take someone who was marginally effective when he was healthy, trade him, then reacquire him once his tendons melt. Oh, and he can learn a new pitch while he's rehabbing. Makes perfect sense. Even better, let's make this guy the setup man. Yeah, like he'll ever strike out another hitter.
  • Brian Wilson is the perfect closer for this ragtag bunch of misfits. He couldn't even beat out Armando Benitez last season, so obviously it makes sense to just hand him the job this spring. Wilson gets rattled too easily, and I'm not sure if he has the right attitude to close. His pitches don't have any movement on them, and he doesn't have a breaking ball of note, so I'm not sure if he can ever succeed as a major league reliever, much less as a closer.

There you have it: a bullpen that is the sole reason for the Giants' sub-.500 season to this point. Bullpens are often filled with spare parts. Sometimes the spare parts come from within an organization, and sometimes they come as lesser-known free agents. That's just dandy, but it doesn't mean that an organization can just stop trying. Where are the big name free agents? Where are the Scott Eyres, Joe Borowskis, and Doug Brocails on this team? The Giants can take all of the offseason to fix this problem, but that doesn't mean I can't be disgusted with the bullpen right now.