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Some serious sanctions would come my way if I neglected to write about the demozotion, even though I'm sick of even thinking about Zito. I recently wrote a post here on Zito's struggles, but I guess I'll have to push this boulder of suck up a hill for the next five years.

But there is a note of clarification to be made to the previous post. I wrote that Zito needed to be thought of in the same manner as a Jose Castillo or Dan Ortmeier; that is, even though the suck threat alert level is a bright red, it isn't going to make a difference to the Giants’ 2008 playoff hopes. Running those guys out there might actually yield some unexpected results that could contribute to future playoff hopes. As long as they aren’t stunting the development of other young players, wind ‘em up and let ‘em go.

When I made that suggestion, I wasn’t yet sick of Jose Castillo. Now I am. One month in, and the dude is killing me. Sample sizes still matter, and many a player has had a fantastic month after starting slow. But Castillo’s April has been like an author using the wrong "their/there/they’re" in the title of their work. Maybe the rest of the piece is fantastic and error-free, but I don’t need to stick around to find out. When Jose Castillo hits, Todd Linden thinks, man, that guy gets into way too many 0-2 counts.

Zito is even more unwatchable. Continuing to run him out there as a starter might yield a .001% chance of future non-suck. But I thought moving him to the bullpen would yield a .00001% chance of future non-suck. It’s probably time to stop thinking in terms of binary suck/non-suck and start thinking in terms of watchable/unwatchable. Bullpen = less Zito. Win. And maybe, just maybe, Zito’s fastball jumps a couple of feet when he moves to relief. Pitchers who convert to relief usually do gain a little velocity. I hadn’t thought of that. That .00001% chance just went up, baby! It’s back to .001%!

For the first time in my life, though, I’m hoping we’ll hear about an injury from a specific player. I don’t want Zito to get injured; I’m praying he is injured. I don’t think we’ll ever see a situation like this again in our lifetimes. If a "Zito to have Tommy John surgery"-headline appears in the paper, everyone – Zito included, maybe – would feel a sense of hope for the first time regarding this situation.

This is one of the worst situations a franchise has ever been in. Bullpen, outright release, lengthy sabbatical…every answer sucks. I’ve seen situations that suck before, but this is the suckiest situation of suck that ever sucked. Now if you’ll excuse me, my damn wiener readers need to comment.

Comment starter: You can keep talking about Zito. Or you can write about the best concert you’ve ever been to, which might make us forget about Zito. Mine: Old 97s at Slim’s in aught-four. I had a perfect view of the set list, and that somehow made the show better.