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This site: Bad joke, poor analysis, worse joke.

The latest literary craze sweeping the world: Your life in six words. Ernest Hemingway started the format when he wrote:

Take a swing at me, p***y.
The asterisk wasn't invented yet, so that isn't exactly authentic, but you get the idea. I figured I could continue my tradition of trying to shoehorn something into a Giants context whether it fits or not. For example, Jonathan Sanchez:
Started, relieved. Relieved, started. Reliever? Starter?
Dan Ortmeier:
Only young player starting. Wait, what?
And the team as a whole:
Meal ticket indicted. Team even worse.
If the contest were extended to just nine or ten words, things would get easier.
A man, a plan, a canal, Ray Durham sucks.
But that's kind of the point. It's tough to say a lot in six words, and I'm the first to admit that concision is not my strong point. I'm not really good at this.

You probably are, though. And, let's face it, your collective commenting wit is one of the biggest reasons people visit the site. The McCovey Chronicles focus group put "collective commenting wit" right after "seeing what's going on in the world of ticket broker text links." So, we'll make a contest. Summarize a player, management-type, or the entire team in six words.

For the purposes of this site, trying to summarize the upcoming season or past season is just as valid as trying to summarize a career. Respond to the best entry with one of those horrid "+1" things, and the winner will win the right to purchase a spring training package at their own expense.