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McC Telethon! Two Years Strong!

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This is the second year for the McCovey Chronicles telethon for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Last year, my niece was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, and our family will walk for the JDRF every year until there's a cure. My standard fix for electrical problems -- unplug the problem unit for a minute before plugging it back in -- doesn't work for autoimmune diseases. At least, that's what I'm forced to assume when the JDRF hasn't answered any of my letters on the subject.

If you can, in these tough economic times, donate even $5, please visit http://walk.jdrf.org/, and seach for "Grant Brisbee" under "Donate to a Walker."

I suppose this could be known as the McCovey Chronicles blogothon for the JDRF, but then I read an "Ask Marilyn!" column in "Parade Magazine", in which she wrote:

Anyone who knowingly and intentionally attaches the word 'blog' to another word as a prefix in order to make a catchy new word should have all of their teeth pulled. Then all of those teeth should be duct-taped around a handful of porcupine quills, and the combination should be shoved up the offender's nose, with other orifices to follow in the event of continued non-compliance.

So this is a telethon, even though there are no telephones involved. Nope, just appeals to visit http://walk.jdrf.org/" and donate under my name. We have a corporate sponsor this year who will match every donation, so any amount you can provide will go twice as far.

This should still be a Giants-related telethon, of course. So let's here from former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown! Wait, he's talking politics. As you might be aware, talking politics is forbidden here, so just fast forward to about 5:02 of that video, where you'll hear Willie talk about...wait...what in the...Willie Brown was rooting for the Dodgers this postseason? Bad Willie! Bad! Bad! Bad Mayor!

Well, this telethon is off to an awkward start. Let's change gears. Here's a much better video: Tim Lincecum getting his 200th strikeout of the season. It was apparently recorded by a drunk gibbon that was chewing on a video camera, but the excitement still comes through. Tim Lincecum is as good a reason to watch professional sports as anyone else alive. Heck, I'd love to just sit and watch a video of Linecum's delivery all day, provided that the video has an AC/DC soundtrack and comparisons of Lincecum to a "bowler" in "cricket."

Hey, look. Here's one of those videos. Did you like that video? It was made possible by the support of readers like you. Also, some random guy with Windows Movie Maker and a YouTube account. But also readers like you. So consider donating to http://walk.jdrf.org/ under the name "Grant Brisbee".

Did you know that my wife and I just had a child? Yep. A beautiful baby girl. And I know you've been dying to send a contribution to the family so we can KEEP OUR APARTMENT...OH GOD...BABIES ARE SO EXPENSIVE...THEY WANT WHAT FOR THE DELIVERY? BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE INSURED....OH NO...DIAPERS COST HOW MUCH? ARE THEY MADE FROM UNICORN HIDES? WHAT IN THE HELL?, but hold off on those contributions. Please. We're doing fine. Instead, take a look at http://walk.jdrf.org/.

It's time for a musical interlude here at the telethon. You have two choices: Terry Cashman's "Talkin' Baseball", or Kurtis Blow's "Basketball". Yeah, I watched Kurtis Blow, too. If had a time machine, I'd go back and commission Kool Moe Dee to write a comparable song about baseball.

It's my birthday today. No, really. I'm 31 today. That's old enough to not care about birthdays, but just in case you were planning on getting me a little something -- a Playstation 3, or an iPhone, or an Audi -- don't. Just go to http://walk.jdrf.org/, and make a donation for the walk under "Grant Brisbee."

And if you're reading this on Monday, don't fret. You can still donate to the cause.

Thanks for you time, and we'll see you next year!