The Dumpiest!

Link dump!

• According to the Texas Rangers' website, the Giants were close to sending Armando Benitez to the Mariners for Ben Broussard last season. First reaction: Big deal. Broussard isn't anything to get worked up about. Second reaction: Man, I'd be satisfied with a Broussard/Ortmeier platoon. Spilt milk, I guess.
• My Favorite Headline of 2008 award has already been handed out for the year: "Giants at .500 not completely impossible." Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Remember the 100-win Giants of '03? How about the contending Giants of '04? Yeah. We might as well be talking about the last good Metallica album. The article includes this passage:
  Looking up and down the projected lineup remains uninspiring. But consider the effects of a little more energy and a lot more solid baseball ... then all of a sudden, Randy Winn emerges as a guy who jolts a team on a regular basis. Bengie Molina, a natural leader, becomes a more authoritative presence. Pedro Feliz, assuming that he does return, benefits from the arrival of a new hitting coach.
  Maybe I'm just being a cynical jerkface, but I'd take guys who could "hit" over a guy who "jolts" and a guy who "authoritative presences." If this is what comes out the end of a rose-tinted typewriter, it's going to be an unbearable season. I really don't think you can get more optimistic than that paragraph, yet you can picture Gwen Knapp kind of grimacing as she wrote it.
• The Strat-O-Matic 1986 Giants are in third place with a 31-27 record. The starting pitching has been incredible, but the offense has been wretched. The current mode of Giants suckage stretches across four dimensions and an alternate reality, apparently. They were even no-hit by Floyd Youmans. I give this Clark kid one more month before I send him back to Phoenix.
• The Fresno Bee did a quick Q&A with Fresno manager Dan Rohn. The whole thing is of interest, but this is my favorite part:
  You coached Tim Lincecum last year before he was called up to the Giants. How does he rate among pitchers you have managed?

  He's probably as good as anyone I've ever had. A tremendous athlete. For a guy who's 5-6, 150 pounds to throw with that much energy, that much torque, it's unbelievable.

  I added the emphasis. I'm assuming this is a typo or Freudian slip, but, man, how awesome would a 5'-6" pitcher be?
• Finally, here's something in a post-holiday "let's kick `em while they're down"-spirit from a Detroit Tigers chat:
  You are probably sick of Brandon Inge questions, but how possible would a trade to the Giants be, along with Nate Robertson for either Tim Lincecum or Matt Cain?
  -- Bob B., Wallingford, Conn.
  Shove it, Bob. I don't really have a point in including this, other than to write "Shove it, Bob." Like, seriously shove it.