This might be the most unintentionally awesome Bonds column of the year:
(Explanation: Will wrote a Newsweek column in May that pointed out Mike Murphy, equipment manager of the San Francisco Giants, testified in the BALCO investigation that Bonds' baseball shoe size changed from 10½ to 13 since 1993. A Brannock device is the remarkable piece of metal invented by Charles Brannock that has measured shoe sizes since 1927).
(Explanation: Major League Baseball teams are allowed to expand their rosters from 25 players to 40 players as of September 1st. As there isn't something called a "mental roster", this analogy was an exercise in absurdity. The purpose of the analogy was to call attention to the fact that this particular opinion column didn't really have a point.)