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Open Gameday Thread, 9/1

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This might be the most unintentionally awesome Bonds column of the year:

He could have spent some time last night reflecting on it. Bonds was not in the starting lineup -- not that there was a record-breaking crowd on hand to greet him, anyway. George F. Will was in the house, maybe to check Bonds' shoe size, though I didn't see him carrying a Brannock device.

(Explanation: Will wrote a Newsweek column in May that pointed out Mike Murphy, equipment manager of the San Francisco Giants, testified in the BALCO investigation that Bonds' baseball shoe size changed from 10½ to 13 since 1993. A Brannock device is the remarkable piece of metal invented by Charles Brannock that has measured shoe sizes since 1927).

Man. Maybe when this guy's mental roster expands, he can call up a point.

(Explanation: Major League Baseball teams are allowed to expand their rosters from 25 players to 40 players as of September 1st. As there isn't something called a "mental roster", this analogy was an exercise in absurdity. The purpose of the analogy was to call attention to the fact that this particular opinion column didn't really have a point.)