clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Open Gameday Thread, 8/11

New, 304 comments
Dave Littlefield: So, Brian, what would it take to get Matt Morris?

Brian Sabean: Uh, really? I mean, but of course you want, uh, Morris. You are one of the, uh, many, many teams inquiring about him, and we've been scouting your guys, or something. How much of the salary would you want us to pick up?

Littlefield: Don't worry about that, Brian. This franchise isn't that cheap. We'll take all of the salary.

Sabean: Uh, I knew that. I was just being courteous. Kind of like offering to pay for a dinner tab, you know? So, in exchange for Morris...we'll want...uh...that one guy...you know...that short or tall guy...with the batting gloves....

Littlefield: Rajai Davis?

Sabean: Yes. Roger Davis. Our scouts like what they see.

Littlefield: Done deal!

Sabean: (hands shaking) I'll fax over the paperwork.

Littlefield: (hands shaking) I'll sit by the fax and wait for it.

Littlefield hangs up.

The fax comes through. Littlefield signs the paperwork and faxes it back.

Littlefield calls his Director of Scouting.

Littlefield: Ed. Do you remember that guy we were talking about? We got him.

Ed Creech: YOU JUST TRADED FOR TIM LINCECUM?

Littlefield: Lincecum? Why in the hell would I want that guy? He's old, busted, and expensive. Hasn't been worth a damn since he was on the Cardinals. No, I just traded for Matt...Morris!

Creech: ...

Littlefield Matt Morris!

Creech: ...

Littlefield: Wait. Which one is which again?

Creech: ...

Littlefield: ...

Creech: ...

Littlefield: ...

Creech: ...

Littlefield: I, uh, need to make a couple of calls.

Today: What could have been, if only in a few fleeting moments in the mind of my fictionalized Dave Littlefield.