Four exciting games in a row? Dramatic finishes that actually favor the Giants? This is what it feels like...when doves cry. Or, at least, when you're watching an actual major league team.
I was at the game and in relatively polite company. "Society" says that it's unacceptable to crouch into a fetal ball and suck your thumb in public. My heart was weeping at another undeserved loss for Matt Cain, and I couldn't do what my instincts were telling me to do because of what "society" deems unacceptable. Yeah, you know what else society once said was unacceptable? Women voters! So if I can't curl into a ball and suck my thumb in public, the misogynists have already won.
Armando Benitez against the Giants' offense: Immovable suck versus irresistible force (also comprised of suck). And Benitez won. That was the worst double play of the year, and there is a quite a field from which to pick. I, for one, will welcome Coach Aurilia to the first-base box next season.
Things didn't look good around the eighth. And then there was a dramatic comeback. The Giants won, and the masses rejoiced. So what happened? What cosmic force could possibly supersede the Matt-Cain-must-lose-every-game cosmic force?
Answer: This force. I was in a luxury box last night, and that has now been proven to be a stronger cosmic force than the Giants' suckitude. The Giants pick up milestone victories, they get comeback wins, Cain's let off the hook, Tim Lincecum gets his first home victory, relationships are blessed, and there are free sodas.
Again, I must plead: For the sake of the franchise, Peter, I must have my own complimentary luxury box. Try it for a season and see if it works out. That's all I ask. If, after a season in the luxury box, the Giants don't win the World Series, I will gladly exchange the complimentary luxury box for complimentary season tickets. It's just smart business, Peter.
Also of interest: The luxury boxes all have computers, and those computers will allow you to set the desktop background. I really, really hope that someone with a sense of humor is in charge of booting that thing up today.
