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Almost done....

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There's a Bay Area team that leads their division running away. They've scored 939 points. I'm looking for just one reason why I shouldn't turn this into a Sabercats blog. Grieb Chronicles. It has a ring to it. We could all learn the game together. They, like, run up to the line of scrimmage before the ball is hiked. Players play offense and defense. That's kind of cool. The fields are 68' x 210' nonagons with two tiers and a "pit of fire." Well, I'm not sure about that one. I've never really watched a game. But read those first two sentences again. Huge divisional lead. Scored 939 points. Rapture!

The only potential problems I can see:

  1. The Sabercats don't have a legacy of soul-grinding failure. I'm kind of used to that legacy. It's good fodder.
  2. I don't know a thing about Sabercat personnel history. Did they have a LB/FB with fumbleitis and two left feet - the football equivalent to Johnnie LeMaster? It's worth looking into.
  3. Lack of knowledge is a problem, but I can get an Arena Football video game on eBay. Give me two weeks to dissect it.
Would you be disappointed? Would you call me a quitter? If this does turn into a Sabercats blog, feel blessed. Because I swear I will turn this into a Rachael Ray blog if it means that I don't have to watch the Giants anymore. I'll post about culottes and calamari. I'll catalog the 34,201 different ways a person can say, "Mmmm, oh my, this is incredible. I wish you could try this. It just melts in your mouth." I'll do it, I swear.

We're not quite there yet, as I still have one more strategy for watching the Giants. I'm going to record every game, and I'll fast forward through it. I won't stop until the Giants get a run. If they do score that single run, I won't stop unless they're tied or ahead. If they fall behind, I start the fast-forwarding again. Maybe I'll stop and rewind to watch Nate Schierholtz's first home run. I'll definitely watch Tim Lincecum's starts, at least when the Giants are in the field.

This new strategy will save me about 10-12 hours a week. I'll use these hours to do something more meaningful and enjoyable than watching the Giants play, like naming each toothpick in a box of 250, assigning them ranks in a complicated toothpick hierarchy, and sitting back to watch the inevitable power struggle.

We'll see if fast-forwarding is the answer. These three-hour tonsillectomies are killing me. The Giants are dead. Long live the Giants.