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Another modest proposal

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How bad are the Giants? There are 425 ways to answer that right now; #40 is that I attended a wedding with an A's fan and a Padres fan, and they spent a combined 30 seconds making fun of the Giants. That's it. Any rough patch for the Giants in the past decade would have been guaranteed for about an hour of entertainment for everyone but me. Neifi Perez jokes would have flown like champagne. I would have been asked once again to explain the allure of Kirk Rueter.

Not anymore. The Giants have reached Tampa Bay Devil Rays status - a target that's just a little too easy at which to poke fun. Except the Devil Rays know how to develop hitting, so they're a team on the rise. Except except the Devil Rays still don't know how to develop pitching. It's been over a decade, and that organization.hasn't been able to do it. So it's time to work something out.

Best-of-seven series. Devil Rays and the Giants. The winning team gets to take five players home with them from the positions the teams are incapable of developing on their own. Barry Zito is eligible to be picked, as long as Matt White pays off the remainder of Zito's contract. White does this because he was a Giants-spurning weenie, and it's only right.

If the Giants win the series, they'll have Carl Crawford, B.J. Upton, Delmon Young, Evan Longoria, and Rocco Baldelli. If the Devil Rays win, they take Lincecum, Cain, Sanchez, Lowry, and a free Zito. You can sub players in and out as your preferences demand. If you think Reid Brignac is more likely to rebound than Baldelli, put him in the cart. Loves you some Bumgarner? He's yours, Tampa.

Without this modest proposal, the Devil Rays are going to have a fantastic offense without pitching. The Giants will have a fantastic staff without any offense. They can both suck together, or they can take a chance at becoming an instant super-team. If the Devil Rays win, we can all just pretend the proposed Giants move to Tampa actually happened.

At the very least, I'll continue to entertain scenarios such as this instead of mulling over loss after loss after loss.