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Cue the Ogre picture....

Baseball is a beautiful game. It doesn't matter if it's the seventh game of a World Series or a game of Pony League ball. No game balances the fate of the individual with the fate of the team quite like baseball does. Every pitch is direct competition; every pitch is akin to a penalty shot in hockey or a wide receiver running a streak route in single coverage. Baseball is the greatest sport ever invented.

And fantasy dorks ruin it all. My name is Grant, and I'm a fantasy dork. I get upset when Prince Fielder is caught stealing. I get excited when Ryan Freel makes a start in the infield because that could make him eligible at another position. It's all irrelevant nonsense. I can quit any time I want to, but it's a lifestyle choice at this point. Seriously. I can quit any time I want to.

All loyalties dissolve when I draft my teams. They can be stacked with Dodgers, which is always bittersweet. I hated that Brad Penny had a good first half of last season, but I reaped the rewards with my fantasy team. When the metaphorical colostomy bag broke for Penny in the second half, it took my team straight to hell, but it was still enjoyable to follow. Oh, my, was it enjoyable.

But this isn't a thread for me to ramble on about my fantasy baseball philosophies; this is a thread for everyone to announce which Giants they are betrothed to in real life and fantasy life. I have three leagues, and there's a huge Bay Area contingent in all of them. This guarantees the homers will get all of the Giants. More often than not, I fail to land a single Giant in any of my leagues. Other folks are just too eager to pop for a guy like Matt Morris about eight rounds earlier than common sense dictates. That's their prerogative. In my house, though, papa is always needin' some new shoes. There's money involved. Damn straight I take the best player available, even if that player happens to be a mustachioed Orange County redneck.

This season, though, I ended up with a bunch of Giants spread out over all three leagues. I have no idea how I beat out the homers. I have Zito in the two leagues with the biggest buy-ins. I have Lowry, Durham, Winn, Linden, and Klesko in others. And if my ace reserve Tim Lincecum gets called up, I just might invite the rest of the dungeon masters over for a party. It's kind of a new experience for me to have so many Giants. Barry Zito means more to my functional life than most co-workers. There's nothing worse than when a Giant stinks up your real team and your fantasy team. Nothing. It could be a long year.

So this is an open thread to talk about your fantasy/real-life double jeopardy Giants. Give us some insight about why you're a little too hard on Dave Roberts when he's caught stealing, or why you're constantly claiming in gameday threads that Bonds should play every inning of all 162 games.