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I was going to write a post about Brad Hennessey intimating that he'd like to be traded. (Thanks to Lefty for finding the story.) Rather, that should read I was going to copy and paste one of the last five Hennessey trade speculations I've written. It's hard to care. If he can fetch something back in trade that's the equivalent of Jay Witasick, just do it.

Instead, allow me to pass off my first FSN Bay Area column of the season as my work for today. The Matt Cain facts were great, but there should be a niche carved out for scouting tall tales told about Lincecum. Each one should start out with "According to scouts," or "A scout once mentioned that," or "One scout said." For example:

According to scouts, Tim Lincecum was in a hospital bed for two years after saving orphans from a burning building. When he got out, he threw 99 MPH with atrophied muscles...sitting down.
The distinction from the Chuck Norris/Matt Cain facts seems clear in my mind, but maybe they're just the same damn thing.