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Cry for Help

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Slow times. The slowest. I sat down to the computer with the intention of doing a post on Jason Ellison. Jason freaking Ellison. Sure, he hit over .400 in more than 200 AAA plate appearances, and he might be lost to waivers in the spring. But writing about Jason Ellison is like writing about the...like writing about the... like.... Damn it. See? I set myself up for an easy Star Trek nerd joke, and it's too slow for my brain to follow through.

Suggest a topic for, like, the rest of the month day has been born. Fan fiction involving Armando Benitez's alternate life in an office job? Rankings of the best offenses in the NL? Give me something. Anything.

In the meantime, I can provide a link I found on Baseball Primer: Fourth-hand information that Doug Davis thinks his arm is shredded. That's like a 7.6 on the January baseball news Richter scale.