At some point, the analogies stop working. Around double play number seventeen last night, the Giants were like a family member strung out on heroin. You wanted to pick them up, dust them off, and kick them into rehab. Maybe hold a tearful intervention, with the Giants looking everyone in the eye to admit the double plays have gotten the best of them. It isn't a perfect -- or especially amusing -- analogy, but it sort of conveys the mixture of disgust and unrealistic hope for redemption felt by the tortured Giants fan.
Where the analogy breaks down is the last straw of tolerance. If the family member refused to heal themselves, refused to clean up, most people would just have to find some way to let go. There's only so much you can do for someone else. It's hard to imagine watching video clips of the drug addict, and hoping for some new twist on rock bottom. "Oooh! The defecation/vomit/blood trifecta! Amazing!"
With the Giants, though, last night was absolutely hilarious. It was one of the more compelling games of the year. There were so, so, so many chances to be a cynical, bitter prognosticator, and so many gifts of validation! First and second, no outs. How are they going to screw this one up? Ah, the pop fly and double play combo. Masterful. First and second, no outs again. A runner's interference call, a guy getting picked off of third, and a reverse balk? Magnifico! It was exciting stuff. It was like watching Caruso sing while Da Vinci painted, right before Che Guevara tossed a molotov cocktail in the room.
The team is still leading the NL in double plays, and still has the fewest strikeouts in baseball. When the 2002 Angels were contact masters from the seventh dimension, we were all commanded by the national announcers to buy gifts and pay tribute. When the 2006 Giants put the ball in play...they just suck.
The marketing team can just cut me a check if they want to use that one. I'm done. Open venting thread begins now.