490 J St.
Dear St. Mark's,
Please allow me to offer my most sincere apologies for my behavior over the weekend. It was completely out of character, I assure you. While nothing can excuse what I did, I humbly beg for your forgiveness. Browsing the Wikipedia article on Catholicism, that kind of seems to be your thing, and for that I am grateful.
I am still unsure how I was able to shatter a stained glass window using only one loud burst of profanity - especially as I was driving down the street at the time - but I take full responsibility. Please send the bill for the window to my accountant:
24 Willie Mays Plaza
San Francisco, CA 94107
P.S. I also apologize for what I said to the pupils of your Sunday school class as I helped clean up the glass. I realize now that it is inappropriate to ask a handful of nuns and six-year-olds if they "had the stones" to question their faith in the light of another loss to the Pirates. That was out of line, and I can't apologize enough.
Playoff teams in every season will blow leads like the Giants did on Sunday, but if Jim Mora were a Giants fan he'd have the perfect sound bite to respond to that brand of optimism. The Giants were the beneficiaries of encouraging starts from Matt Morris and Noah Lowry, a gritty performance from Jason Schmidt, and still lost all three games. It's hard to remember a more frustrating series, especially coming after a sustained stretch of improved play. I legitimately had to change my introduction because it was too close to Henry Schulman's.
The eighth inning collapse yesterday was a Band-Aid pulled off nice and slow, but the Giants lost the series because they couldn't hit guys like Victor Santos and Ian Snell. After putting the period on the end of that sentence, I decided I didn't want to write about the Giants anymore today.