Things I Learned On Opening Day:
- Fighter jets are loud.
- My fiancée's McCovey Chronicles t-shirt does not qualify as a press pass.
- I was one row, four seats away from the worst seats in the house, and they still weren't that bad. Every fly ball looked like a triple hit into the gap, and Brian McCann's homer looked like a lazy liner, but they weren't upper-deck-in-center-field-at-Candlestick bad.
There's a little secret up by section 304, too. A concession stand, which might have just opened, featuring Mike Murphy's favorite Irish fare. Like any reasonable person, Murphy's favorite Irish fare is Guinness, Irish coffee, cocoa with Bailey's, and Harp's. The Irish coffee is a steal at $92, and having it accessible would almost make it worth sitting in the seats for a cold summer's night. Almost.
- Things that are acceptable to yell out at a baseball game might include, "C'mon, Pedro, let's go!", or, "Alright, Scotty, keep the ball down!"
Things not acceptable to yell out at a baseball game might include, "Way to swing at the first pitch, pee hands!", no matter how well it might fit the situation.
- You can't tell the difference between a changeup and a curveball from #304, so I just had sit and wonder what kind of weird pitch Ken Ray was throwing to Bonds. It was a changeup, and a naaasty one, but I'm pretty sure he'll never get Bonds on three swinging strikes again.
- Overhearing a kid ask his dad, "Daddy, what's a peehands?", is something so special, so beautiful, that nothing will ever top the moment.
- Until the moment that directly follows is a grown man explaining to his son that Moises Alou pees on his hands to strengthen the skin. Cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon...