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Old Friends....

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Point: Aarrrrrgfggggggggaaahaaaggggg!

Counterpoint: Whoa. You alright?

Point: Gaaaaarrrrrrhrhrrrr!

Counterpoint: Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Point: The Giants...just hired...Bruce Bochy...to be their manager.

Counterpoint: Oh. Not bad.

Point: Not bad? Not bad? You can't be serious. I thought that you didn't want a retread?

Counterpoint: Retread, to me, means a manager that's worn out his welcome everywhere he's been. In every city, he leaves a wake of disgruntled fans and a wake of disgruntled players. Bochy doesn't fit that description.

Point: Whatever. If you're satisfied with mediocrity, be my guest. Pull up a seat on the train to San Mediocre, with a few stops along the way at Badville, Wretchedsburg, and Veteran Footsie Town. This doesn't fit with a New Direction.

Counterpoint: Who did you want?

Point: Me? Bud Black. Works well with pitchers. Fresh face. New Direction.

Counterpoint: Well, I was just reading an interview where Black describes how Mike Scioscia never let his young pitchers stretch their arms out. That when he's going to be a manager, his starters had better be able to go for 150 pitches every time out.

Point: Really? Oh. Damn. (takes paper) Hey, this is just a Hagar the Horrible comic!

Counterpoint: No, Black never said that. But maybe he thinks it. I don't see how you can get so worked up when the only thing you know about a guy is his name, and maybe a couple of other vague points.

Point: Easy. It'd be a new spark. A New Direction. The Giants need to get younger. They need to rebuild. They need to contend.

Counterpoint: Would Black have taken the Giants to the playoffs this season?

Point: Ha ha ha ha, no. The Giants are screwed, and probably will be for a couple of years. Managers don't really make too much of a difference.

Counterpoint: ?

Point: Well, except for Bochy. He doesn't fit with the New Direction.

Counterpoint: So, why is Bochy a bad choice? He's careful with his young pitchers. He isn't a fan of needless sacrifice bunting. When young players like Josh Barfield, Sean Burroughs, and Khalil Greene came up through the system, Bochy had no problems with management shipping off older players to make room. His players seem to respect him. If the Giants aren't going to contend, that actually hits on a lot of what the Giants need. What more do you want?

Point: I want a New Direction. I want the Giants to contend. I want the pitchers to develop, and I want the lineup to be filled with great young prospects from the farm system.

Counterpoint: Well, yeah, but that's not...

Point: I want a World Series title, and I want Sabean to stop giving out crappy contracts to crappy veterans. And I want a chopper! A chopper gassed up and ready to take me to the airport! And if any of you pigs follow me, I swear I'll....

Reasonable Conclusion: Maybe I can help. The immediate future looks bleak for the Giants, and that's a shame. For the past ten years, the powers that be have been running around with duct tape and a plunger, trying to get one last flush from their commode without paying for a plumber. It almost worked, but now we're all about to be ankle-deep in some pretty foul stuff. Not only have the Giants refused to look at premium free agents, but they've been incompetent in developing anything more than utility players for the lineup. Even if the Giants wanted to rebuild, they don't have to talent to do it.

The open manager's slot was the last well of irrational optimism. If the Giants hired an unknown quantity like Manny Acta, maybe he would have been the greatest manager in recorded history, leading the Giants on a Hollywood-like charge through the playoffs in 2007. Now with Bochy, reality is giving us a wedgie. Whatever Bochy is or isn't, we know for sure that his giant noggin isn't filled with magic. He isn't going to take a mediocre team and make them great. That's what is really behind the anti-Bochy sentiment.

Counterpoint: My god. Maybe it is you who shall sow a seed in my womb. Maybe it is you after all.

Point: Hey!

Reasonable Conclusion: Sorry, ma'am, but I'm sterile as a mule. Now if you'll excuse me, I have absolutely no place in an internet discussion.

Not directed at anyone in particular. Just amusing myself. Of course, if crap like this goes down, the ghost of Casey Stengel couldn't help the Giants.