Everyone thinks this is the day America won its independence. Phppt. Morons. What actually happened is the Mexican army defeated the French at the Battle of Puebla. The battle was sponsored by Corona, and it's why we watch fireworks. Or something.
After leaving town for days, the Giants lost twice. As being superstitious is a requirement for baseball fans, I am no longer allowed out of town. Other things I have done this year that were proven to have caused the Giants to lose:
Accidentally put on the Giants hat I wore during the last loss.
Ate either lunch or dinner.
Addressed someone by their first name.