Tomko v. Weaver
Or, as the career aptitude tests would ask, which of these people do you see yourself resembling:
a) A young man driving a Trans Am too fast, listening to Persistence of Time, with the words, "As long as you live in my house, you abide by my rules", still echoing in your head.
or
b) A young man sitting in a green meadow, enjoying a beautiful sunset, and painting a portrait of your famously hot wife riding a horse.
Tick tock tick tock.