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It did it again. It looks as if my computer will crash every time I type that sentence. This will work out perfectly, as I will ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO EVER THINK ABOUT THIS AGAIN. The thought of Fassero coming into the ninth inning with a one-run lead just made me throw up my Cheerios, and I haven't had Cheerios in six years. Top of the ninth. Up by one. Fassero takes a slow walk from the bullpen mound. His intro music starts up.

He was a famous trumpet man from old Chicago way
He had a boogie style that no one else could play
He was the top man at his craft
But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft
He's in the army now, a-blowin' reveille
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B

Damn straight. With each verse, Fassero's fastball has just a little more pop to it. 83. 84. 85.3 85.43. Then he gives up four runs.

There has to be someone who can make this look better, right?

"(Fassero) reminds me of Jesse Orosco," Alou said.

Wheeee. Maybe the reason Fassero and Orosco seem similar is that they were both begat around the same time, but that misses the larger point. Orosco is not who you want your closer to remind you of.

Moises Alou has four hits, with two of them being infield hits. Barry Bonds isn't especially close to playing a game. Jerome Williams is in Fresno. Benitez's hamstring tore like a wet Kleenex. Jeff Fasser* might be the Giants closer. This will all make the World Series championship that more satisf...

Hey. C'mon. No giggling. There's still a.... I'm sorry, you weren't giggling? You were crying? Oh, yeah, that's absolutely allowed.