clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

How to choose a breed of dog

I'm working on my new book, "You Might Be a Baseball Nerd...", which is basically my stand-up routine in book form. Here's an example: You might be a baseball nerd if you are excited about the possibility of arbitration-eligible players being non-tendered, and then signing with your favorite team. Actually, that's the only joke I've come up with so far. I don't have a publisher yet.

I am a baseball nerd, and I am going to be on the computer around that 9:00 p.m. deadline tonight, checking out who the new free agents are. Vicente Padilla was probably the most intriguing possibility, but he was traded to the Rangers before we could even think about getting our grubby little paws on him. If the Twins can't find a trade partner for Kyle Loshe, will they just dump him? It's like an impeccably constructed mystery novel, where each page brings us closer to a solution, and the twists and turns come from nowhere, only making perfect sense in retrospect, as characters you thought you could trust become suspects, and then heroes again, but you never kn....

Wait, it's not like that at all. It's a bunch of sub-mediocrity being told by their employers they aren't worth the money. As far as the pitching possibilities go, I wrote about the arbitration-eligible folks here. Little has changed. It seems like the Red Sox are going to non-tender Wade Miller, which has to mean his shoulder isn't even something you would want to donate to science. Still, it'd be worth a minor-league contract to see if Miller can compete for the last spot in the rotation. Of all the possible non-tenders, I'd love to see Ted Lilly on the Giants. Even if the Blue Jays do offer him arbitration, they'd still probably have an eye on giving him away for scraps.

If the arbitration-eligible pitchers are boring, then the arbitration-eligible position players are something you slip into someone's drink if you want to knock them out. Anyone approaching good will be offered a contract. Most everyone not approaching good will be offered a contract. Unless Morgan Ensberg is found in bed with Drayton McLane's niece, wife, and pet chinchilla within the next five hours, there isn't going to be too much to help the Giants. Now that's a frame job I could trust Jack Bauer to set up, but the producers of "24" won't return my calls anymore.

The list of all arbitration-eligible players is here. Is there anything I'm missing? Pena or bust?