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This Time It Counts

Most of you put your lives on hold, I'm sure, until you found out what some dork with a blog predicted for the World Series. And I take that duty very seriously. My predictions:

I predict there will not be a videotape of a jumping monkey flashed on a scoreboard at any point during the series. This alone makes it a great World Series.

I predict that Red Sox fans and Yankee fans will be as miserable as Giant fans through the entire series. This alone makes it a great World Series.

I predict that if Roger Clemens drills A.J. Pierzynski in the ass with a four-seam fastball, and Pierzynski responds by chucking his bat at the mound, attendance at religious services will see an unprecedented spike. I also predict we won't be so lucky.

I predict if the Astros lose the World Series, Fox will flash some graphic comparing Craig Biggio and Jeff Bagwell to John Stockton and Karl Malone. Teams from all sports will start to consciously avoid the Guy You'd Kind of Like To Hit and His Little Buddy method of franchise development.

I predict the Astros will win the World Series in seven games. I predict I'll feel bad for the White Sox. I predict I'll get over it by the time Stacked is canceled.

Your predictions on the World Series, if you would.