It's hard watching A.J. Pierzynski do anything to help any team, as he has set a new standard for non-Dodger loathitude. It took quite a bit for him to get there, as the one thing holding him back was that I was in favor of his acquisition. The Pierzynski timeline:
- Joins the Giants in return for three players, two of whom I was certain would have chronic injury problems, and the other a starting pitching prospect coming off a down year. The price isn't too steep, and he's one of the better offensive catchers in the game. Hooray!
- Sucks in the early part of the 2004 season. Really, really sucks. Tie down the couch, duct tape the dog and photo album to the foundation of the house, Pierzynski is coming up to bat, and everything in the room is in danger of being sucked into the television and into another dimension of suck so implausible it renders string theory worthless, but, hey, that's just how bad he sucks, sucks.
- Had a good month or so.
- Sucks again. No runners on, two outs, still hits into a double play sucks.
- Joe Nathan solidifies his place as one of baseball's best closers. The Giants, who desperately need bullpen help, lose the division by a slim margin.
- Even though he was acquired for a hefty bounty, teams don't even try to trade for him in the offseason. Perhaps they were scared of the clubhouse rumors. Perhaps they were put off by what the Giants were asking from other teams, which was one AOL Free Trial CD.
- Signs with the White Sox. Nauseating "he ain't difficult, he's fiery!" articles gurgle up on cue.
- Stories come out about his first month with the Giants, and how his initial impression with the Giants coaching staff consisted of a knee to the trainer's crotch.
- Francisco Liriano is now one of baseball's brightest young pitching prospects.
- Pierzynski is good again.
- The Giants watch Pierzynski from home in October of 2005, as he draws raves for his clutch hitting and heady awareness in the playoffs.