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Three Things....

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Before the start of last season, I made a list of things I hoped to see during the year. It goes without saying there is an inherent desire to see the Giants win the division. Also, to see the Giants roll through the playoffs. Also, Tommy Lasorda forced to wear a Giants hat while his granddaughter's guinea pig, "Squiggles", is held at gunpoint. Just the obvious things.

Last year's list asked for a breakout season from a rookie, and Noah Lowry delivered. It also asked for Neifi Perez to not embarrass bipeds everywhere with his hitting, and was roundly rejected. This year's list is only three questions. Value of the dollar going down, and all:

  1. Todd Linden proving to be more than a fifth outfielder would be a nice touch for the season. Since his impressive debut, he has done nothing but regress. In scouting circles, this is known as the Guns 'N' Roses Career Path.
  2. I'm still waiting for the first Giants no-hitter in my lifetime. Jason Schmidt is the obvious choice, but I'd love to see Kirk Rueter toss one just to see if the plague of locusts would be the second sign of the apocalypse, or if the rivers of bile would come next.
  3. Mike Matheny knee a member of the training staff in the groin. Some call players who do that a "clubhouse cancer", but that is just short-sighted. Yogi Berra kneed someone in the groin before every game. Gene Tenace's nickname was "The Sterilizer". Matheny needs to take a page from A.J. Pierzynski's handbook, and just use those knees with impunity.
In all seriousness, an on-base percentage over .320 would be just dandy from Matheny.

How about you? One wish not directly tied to the overall related of the team, if you would....