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After the recent eyelash-fluttering post about Rich Aurilia, a contrast was needed. All of us have had the same dream recently, I'm sure. While driving down a deserted road a cop pulls you over, and it turns out to be Jeff Kent in a Dodger uniform. My variation is that Kent keeps calling me "Melissa", and my drivers-ed teacher is in the holding cell with me, but the basic points are probably the same for all of us.

Kent was already disliked when he went to the Astros. He made a couple of dumb comments when he left, and seemed to be incredibly bitter toward the Giants. It felt weird booing him, though. He was always a braying jackass, but he was our braying jackass, and for six years he was a great second baseman. In response, I patented the ol' boo-clap for when the Astros came to town. Booooo, you're a jackass. Clappa clappa clap, but I still respect the good you did for the Giants.

That's gone, though. With a Dodgers uniform on him, I submit that Kent is in line to be the most loathed player ever for Giants fans. All winter, I've been working on some rigorous muscle exercises, trying to get into peak booing shape. I've practiced for hours on my cats, who already hated me. I just hope, someday, I will get the chance to have Jeff Kent hear me boo him silly. Not that he'd care.

Who are the contenders for most-loathed player? Orel Hershisher, Brett Butler, and almost anyone on the '87 Cowtown Cardinals are the ones who pop in my head immediately. My special, sentimental pick is Alex Diaz. But that's just based on utter futility. He might be a swell guy to play air hockey with, or something.

When it comes to that magical combination it takes to be the most loathed ex-Giant, Kent is already making his case. He's on the Dodgers. Check. He used to be on the Giants, and ripped on them when he left. Check. You kind of wanted to hit him over the head with a potted plant from the moment you first saw him. Check.

Anyone have his phone number? Nothing settles the nerves like a couple of irresponsible crank calls. Man, it really bugs me that the guy's on the Dodgers now. What a jackass.