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Choose Your Own Adventure!

You are a manager of a professional baseball team. In the late innings of a close game, the opposing team has the bases loaded. In your bullpen, you have several relievers from which to choose, but one of them sticks out.

He throws a sinker, and only a sinker. It's a good sinker a third of the time, purring along at 93 MPH right at the knees. A third of the time it's out of the strike zone, and hitters rarely chase it. Another third of the time, the sinker is left high in the strike zone with predictable movement. This combination has led to average to below-average results throughout his career, except for a fluky season in 2005.

Because he only throws one pitch, hitters can sit on that high sinker. But if the hitter is a real moron, you might get him to beat one of the good sinkers into the ground for a double play.

What do you do?

Bring in the sinkerballer. We need that double play. (Turn to Page 3)
Why the hell is this guy even on the team? Bring in someone else. (Turn to Page 5)








(The bullpen's a fickle thing. A year ago, Tyler Walker was just an out-of-date punchline. Five months ago, Brian Wilson was a forgotten man. Dan Giese is a journeyman, but a journeyman does well in September is a journeyman who could nail down a job in March; it's the John Johnstone career path. Brad Hennessey went from "fifth starter if he's lucky" to "fearless reliever who throws more strikes than the typical Giants reliever," and that means something in this bullpen.

I can see how these four -- plus a journeyman or the loser for the fifth starter's job -- can comprise a decent bullpen, even though they weren't really in the plans at various points in the past year. Next year, maybe Sergio Romo makes the jump, or Merkin Valdez heals up real nice-like, or Billy Sadler finds his control. Who knows? The bullpen is a fickle thing.

But Scott Munter is never going to be a major league pitcher. I'm sorry. The Holy Sinker Grail of Double Play Starting Goodness is a beautiful dream, but it's just that -- a dream. Let it go.)

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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
No "the dream is over - giants officially knocked out of playoff hunt" tongue-in-cheek post?  For shame, G-money.  For shame.
"They can trade me," Bonds said. "I don't think they will, though. It's not like I want to be traded, man. I'm a Giant. I'm stuck here till the end."!

by GameSix on Sep 13, 2007 9:00 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Lyrical accompaniment for this great tune
The dream is over.
The dream is over.
And it's unbelievably sad.
It's unbelievably sad,
What I didn't expect.
I was relieved as a broken sled

Everyday I drink vodka and lemonade.
You see we all have our part to play.
And it's unbelievably sad.
It's unbelievably sad.
My downfall began.
I've read the script.
I know how it ends.

The dream is over.
The dream is over.

***

Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy

by hairball on Sep 13, 2007 9:50 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Funny, I thought of "Dream of Mirrors" by Iron Maiden.

by zenbitz on Sep 13, 2007 10:42 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Silent Lucidity - Queesryche

"Your dream is over...or has it just begun?"

by paboperfecto on Sep 13, 2007 11:41 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Deafeatist!
They're only officially eliminated from the division race! They're still in contention for the Wild Card! 13 games out and with 9 teams to leapfrog, granted, but not yet mathematically eliminated!
Proud adoptive father of the All-Father, currently sandbagging in San Jose.

by EliminateMe on Sep 13, 2007 1:02 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
What page must I turn to if I want our GM's head on a stake for assembling this pile of shite and expecting it to contend?
Even Omar thinks that Mido is an f'ing tosspot wanker.

by PacBellBoozer on Sep 13, 2007 9:08 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bunglers
Never was it more apparent that Sabean (and Magowan) had no plan. Or if they did, they found it unworkable and abandoned it. Then they started picking up stray pieces of overpriced MLB flotsam whereever they found it floating. You know, in the bay, in a lake or pond, and apparently in a few toilet bowls.

In the end, they had a lot of cash left, and deeded it over to Zito, who they somehow came to view as a Holy Chalice. How highly did they (and they alone) think of Zito? They'll pay to him for the next six years approximately what they pay as a debt service on their beautiful ballpark.

It was economic malfeasance combined with absymal baseball judgment. Pink slips should have been issued to all involved.

by Moggeee on Sep 14, 2007 7:44 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Even though the Official Meaningless Games Counter (TM) has started whirring and clicking on Brian Sabean's desk -- earlier this September than any September previous -- it's nice to see that Bruce Bochy is still playing to win, and throwing out Shock-Fu managerial moves like "batting Scott Atchison when you have bleen pinch hitters and relievers on the roster." Nobody can say he's not keeping his head the game.

</sarcasm>

Lon Simmons' adopted dad.

by Kitspool on Sep 13, 2007 9:08 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
<joke about Bochy's head size>
Barry Bombs gear | comics | Durham? I hardly know 'im!

by Natto on Sep 13, 2007 9:11 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Is a "have bleen" the same as a "has been"?
***

Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy

by hairball on Sep 13, 2007 9:51 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
"bleen" = "a lot", "gajillion", "oogie"
Lon Simmons' adopted dad.

by Kitspool on Sep 13, 2007 10:11 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
so an "oogie bleen" is "a lot of gajillions". Thanks for the clarification. You're not from Boonville by any chance?
***

Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy

by hairball on Sep 13, 2007 10:16 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
No. However, I love drinking Anderson Valley Brewing Company's Boont Amber beer. Does that count?
Lon Simmons' adopted dad.

by Kitspool on Sep 13, 2007 11:21 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Good stuff, that. We've got a lot of great breweries in my county :) (AVBC, North Coast Brewing Co., Mendocino Brewing Co., Ukiah Brewing Co.)

Have you tried AVBC's Summer Solstice Cerveza Crema? Not as puritanically correct a beer as the Boont Amber, but man is it good!

***

Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy

by hairball on Sep 13, 2007 12:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
According to a George Carlin bit, Bleen is the number between six and seven

by Giant Dwarf on Sep 13, 2007 11:03 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
I do seem to recall this.
Derin McMains had five fingers, but he only used three.

by oooreebay on Sep 13, 2007 1:29 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

George! (WAY OT)
"'At any rate'...what does that mean , 'at any rate'?"

"What about 5 1/2 per cent?"

I had the HONOR of seeing him when I was all of 14 at the University of Alaska with the son of the surgeon who cured my "Welcome to Alaska!" appendicitis - and my father.

We (my friend and I) ROFL'd , in every wayshapeform...we were on the floor at the foot of the bleachers. My dad...probably torn between wanting to guffaw and chagrin that he'd somehow gotten his teenage son into a pretty blue performance.

Waiting breastlessly for the Resurrection , hoping I didn't just kill it. Again.

by victor frankenstein on Sep 13, 2007 5:52 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Ha...he won't start the young guys because we're playing contenders and it will affect the playoffs, but he'll bat Atchinson.  Ha again.

by paboperfecto on Sep 13, 2007 11:42 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
That was because he only had about twelve pinch-hitters available on the bench and didn't want to use them all up too early in the game.
Proud adoptive father of the All-Father, currently sandbagging in San Jose.

by EliminateMe on Sep 13, 2007 1:10 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
And, he'll sit Bonds every day to boot!
Dave Righetti: You don't know him. / Read My Blog, Because I Write It

by howtheyscored on Sep 13, 2007 1:21 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Maybe he thinks Atchison has Ankielitis.
Waiting breastlessly for the Resurrection , hoping I didn't just kill it. Again.

by victor frankenstein on Sep 13, 2007 5:54 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
And Munter is getting playing time in the AFL.

/confused

I hope it's his last chance to prove he's got something. I've never seen a guy that lives off a sinker throw it above the belt so many times.

by xanthan on Sep 13, 2007 9:08 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
But I thought that Munter was just like Webb????????

I COULD SWEAR I HEARD KRUKOW SAY IT LAST NIGHT!!!!!

It's not true?

:(

Fairley odd parent to Wendell...

by Mark carry on on Sep 13, 2007 9:10 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
He's just like Webb in the fact that he throws right handed and is a human being.

Hey, I'm a lot like Webb too!

by xanthan on Sep 13, 2007 9:12 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Just like Webb, without all the hits and runs though...

same difference.

Fairley odd parent to Wendell...

by Mark carry on on Sep 13, 2007 9:13 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Hmm, I guess one out of two ain't bad.
Barry Bombs gear | comics | Durham? I hardly know 'im!

by Natto on Sep 13, 2007 9:15 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Longest parenthetical ever. Sheesh.
***

Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy

by hairball on Sep 13, 2007 9:43 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
I actually hate myself for saying that.

Sorry.

Dave Righetti: You don't know him. / Read My Blog, Because I Write It

by howtheyscored on Sep 13, 2007 10:31 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
If you're playing against the Giants, then of course you bring in the sinkerballer.  I mean, what are the odds they do something besides hit into a double play?

Unfortunately, our pitchers never get to face our offense, which is a shame because it would really help their trade value.

Steve Kline: Pretty okay, but only on a whole season basis and not based on what he's doing now.

by groug on Sep 13, 2007 11:17 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

A little Off-Topic
But, I was browsing my usual baseball sites this morning and I found this picture of Dolphins Stadium last night during the Marlins game.

From the Washington Post


In the fifth inning of the Florida Marlins' 5-4 victory over the Washington Nationals, home plate umpire Paul Schreiber gave the thumb to an unnamed man seated behind the plate who had been verbally abusive throughout the contest.

"The fan was chirping at the umpire," Nationals catcher Brian Schneider said. "There was no need for it."

The man was so loud, and the atmosphere so quiet, the fan could be heard saying "you don't make more than me" on the television broadcast as he was forced to leave. There were no more than about 400 fans in attendance at the game's peak.

A empty baseball stadium is so sad.

by xanthan on Sep 13, 2007 11:19 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: A little Off-Topic
Today's philosophical question:

"If Todd Linden gets the game-winning hit in an empty stadium, does anyone see it?"

Lon Simmons' adopted dad.

by Kitspool on Sep 13, 2007 11:29 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: A little Off-Topic
A:  Only if Mando balks the bases loaded!
Even Omar thinks that Mido is an f'ing tosspot wanker.

by PacBellBoozer on Sep 13, 2007 11:47 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: A little Off-Topic
So if no one sees it a walk is counted as a hit?

by paboperfecto on Sep 13, 2007 2:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: A little Off-Topic
trick question. That could never happen.
Bonds stands alone.

by nostocksjustbonds on Sep 13, 2007 2:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: A little Off-Topic
it'd be pretty cool to have your own vendor!
Bonds stands alone.

by nostocksjustbonds on Sep 13, 2007 1:51 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: A little Off-Topic
Unbelievably depressing.
Dave Righetti: You don't know him. / Read My Blog, Because I Write It

by howtheyscored on Sep 13, 2007 2:15 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You could use some hot joe , Howie.
The above is in defiance of Myspace , which told me I could not make comments about you unless I was your friend.
Waiting breastlessly for the Resurrection , hoping I didn't just kill it. Again.

by victor frankenstein on Sep 13, 2007 6:27 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Unreal Photo
I think it shows the high intelligence of the greater Miami fanbase. Who wants to watch -- much less pay to watch -- the drek they lay out on the field?

Diehard fans are rare and overrated, anyway. Unless you're an idler, you won't go to unwatchable September games when the team has been out of it since July. Then, management is forced to:

  1. Assemble a better product
  2. Leave, or
  3. File for bankruptcy protection.
(Like every other business not subsidized by blind allegiance and huge TV contracts.)

by Moggeee on Sep 14, 2007 8:03 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Scott Munter sucks and I still can't believe they're wasting an AFL roster spot on him this fall. I'm pretty sure the entire reason they're keeping him around is because of that "decent" ~40 IP stretch in 05, where he still had a 11:12 K/BB ratio.

Also, the dude has the worst pitching motion I've ever seen. I don't think he gets his body into it at all. It's all arm and the arm action isn't very good to begin with.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Sep 13, 2007 11:49 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
You know, I'm not even concerned about Scott Munter.  Play him, don't play him...  I think when we bring in the worst relievers on the team in a close situation, it's akin to throwing in the towel, and that irritates me.

But you want to know what really irritates me?

WHY THE FUDGE IS RAY DURHAM BATTING CLEANUP?????  Why the hell is he even in the lineup???  This boggles the mind, I know he got the game winning homer against the Dodgers and claims he found his groove all of a sudden, but he's still batting .217 with only 11 homers!  He sucks, he's done, and he's not going to magically find his groove this late in the year!  I feel like Lewis Black here, and all I can do is spew forth profanities (trying to clean up mouth a little, I don't want my daughter's first word to be the F-bomb).

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Sep 13, 2007 12:43 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
The spirit of Dusty Baker has possessed Bruce Bochy.

by xanthan on Sep 13, 2007 1:11 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Yeah, I always loved the Dusty Baker logic:  Sure he's Oh-fer-the-season, but's gonna break out of it sooner or later!

No Dusty...  Marvin Benard sucks.  And the sooner you bench him, the happier the fans will be.

Now it's, No Bruce...  Ray Durham sucks this year.  And the sooner you bench him, the happier the fans will be.

"He called the sh** POOP!" -- Adam Sandler

by JRPhillips on Sep 13, 2007 1:20 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
in that spirit, the Giants sure do a swell job of not clogging up the bases!
Bonds stands alone.

by nostocksjustbonds on Sep 13, 2007 3:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
I'm not too mad at Munter for last night.  He got the grounder he was looking for. Unfortunately, he did his job of inducing a grounder too well and it was a high chopper that bounced over Feliz for a double.  Pretty unlucky if you ask me; hadn't been pounded into the ground so hard, Feliz could have gone home with it or even turned two.

He gave up one more hit and two more grounders for outs. I'm not a big Munter fan, but hard to hate him for last night.

Attention all cars: Be on the look-out for Ryan Klesko's missing power.

by Goofus on Sep 13, 2007 2:10 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
The first was unlucky and was mostly a hit because the infield was playing in. But, the second hit to Connor Jackson was a above the belt sinker that was on a tee, Jackson ripped it into the left center for another 2 runs.

Sure, those extra 2 runs didn't mean anything in the big picture, but I've never seen a sinkerballer like Munter throw the ball up in the zone so much. It doesn't bode well for his future.

by xanthan on Sep 13, 2007 2:16 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
I also can't blame Munter for last night.

I do blame Bochy for batting Atchinson for the second time this year with a runner on base in a close ballgame during the 5th inning or later.  Both times Atchinson has gotten shelled the next inning.  And this time it was in SEPTEMBER with an overflowing bench and bullpen.

I'm not sure if I would rather beleive he is trying to win ballgames or not because if he is trying, then that means he doesn't know how to win ballgames.

I'll say it again: Padres let him go for a reason.  Fire Bochy please.

Can't w8 for '08!

by southcitysteve on Sep 13, 2007 2:46 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
This post wasn't so much based on last night's results as it was on last night's performance. He certainly did get the ground ball, and he was unlucky that it found a hole. But then he threw his patented unsinker, which was ripped for a double. Unless he develops Madduxian control, that's going to be the story of his career.

by Grant on Sep 13, 2007 2:58 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Goofus, I agree. I don't see how Munter can figure in our plans so sending him to the AZL really baffles me, but the main thing I remember thinking in that inning is what a stark example it was of the value of great defense if your offense is weak. I'm all for experimenting with Ort at first but I was struck by how the whole thing unraveled when he didn't lead Atchinson properly on Ojeda's bunt. Klesko, who has turned out to be a much better defensive 1B than I expected, would have gotten the out, or so I surmised from the Gameday call. Then you wouldn't have had Benjie going for broke and coming up empty on Webb's sacrifice. The inning probably would have ended with no runs scored.

by NearestNorwich on Sep 13, 2007 8:10 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Make or break
SF is noted for its pitching so there must be someone within the organization that believes Munter can revert to 2005 form. Let the kid pitch in September and in AFL. Then in December a decision will be made whether Munter is to have a spot on 40-man roster.

by wilriv21 on Sep 13, 2007 2:34 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sabean Drinking Game
Slighty off-topic, I'm listening to the Brian Sabean show on KNBR right now. My pint of beer is full and I'm waiting for him to say "At the end of the day" so I can take a sip.
Lon Simmons' adopted dad.

by Kitspool on Sep 13, 2007 5:06 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Sabean Drinking Game
Interesting to hear him talk about cheating on the baseball diamond (not off it) in response to the Patriots. It almost sounded like he was condoning it, even though I imagine he thought he was just acknowledging how widespread it is.
Dave Righetti: You don't know him. / Read My Blog, Because I Write It

by howtheyscored on Sep 13, 2007 5:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Sabean Drinking Game
Yeah, that was interesting, and refreshingly honest, too. Sabean all but said "Everybody does it" in regards to stealing signals or otherwise trying to get an advantage inside the lines.

I'm not sure how a parent would explain all this moral relativism to their kid, but it's pretty obvious that all of the cheating that's been exposed in sports recently is simply a more refined version of what apparently has been going on forever.

Lon Simmons' adopted dad.

by Kitspool on Sep 13, 2007 9:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Sabean Drinking Game
Sabean also had really nice things to say about Omar and Schierholtz, too.  Kinda surprising since one is FA they might be looking to re-sign and the other is a rookie.
Attention all cars: Be on the look-out for Ryan Klesko's missing power.

by Goofus on Sep 13, 2007 9:29 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Once and For All
Scott Munter is not a Major League Pitcher
Scott Munter is not a Minor League Pitcher
Scott Munter is not a Beer League Pitcher
Scott Munter throws a ball like Little Orphan Annie. Scott Munter looks like a refugee from the McNee State Marching Band. I've seen better looking arms on busted slot machines and better mechanics in a Tiajuana chop-shop. Better stuff at the end of a handkerchief. Contagious as polio. Attacking one, infecting many. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA MUNTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Barry Zito -- Catch Me if You Can.

by E Ticket on Sep 13, 2007 7:16 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Once and For All
So, what you're saying is, better than Benitez, right?

by NearestNorwich on Sep 13, 2007 8:12 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
I need to know, Kitspool, did you get into your pint?

by allfrank on Sep 13, 2007 8:52 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
He didn't say it! I drank anyway.
Lon Simmons' adopted dad.

by Kitspool on Sep 13, 2007 9:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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