Choose Your Own Adventure!
You are a manager of a professional baseball team. In the late innings of a close game, the opposing team has the bases loaded. In your bullpen, you have several relievers from which to choose, but one of them sticks out.
He throws a sinker, and only a sinker. It's a good sinker a third of the time, purring along at 93 MPH right at the knees. A third of the time it's out of the strike zone, and hitters rarely chase it. Another third of the time, the sinker is left high in the strike zone with predictable movement. This combination has led to average to below-average results throughout his career, except for a fluky season in 2005.
Because he only throws one pitch, hitters can sit on that high sinker. But if the hitter is a real moron, you might get him to beat one of the good sinkers into the ground for a double play.
What do you do?
Bring in the sinkerballer. We need that double play. (Turn to Page 3)
Why the hell is this guy even on the team? Bring in someone else. (Turn to Page 5)
(The bullpen's a fickle thing. A year ago, Tyler Walker was just an out-of-date punchline. Five months ago, Brian Wilson was a forgotten man. Dan Giese is a journeyman, but a journeyman does well in September is a journeyman who could nail down a job in March; it's the John Johnstone career path. Brad Hennessey went from "fifth starter if he's lucky" to "fearless reliever who throws more strikes than the typical Giants reliever," and that means something in this bullpen.
I can see how these four -- plus a journeyman or the loser for the fifth starter's job -- can comprise a decent bullpen, even though they weren't really in the plans at various points in the past year. Next year, maybe Sergio Romo makes the jump, or Merkin Valdez heals up real nice-like, or Billy Sadler finds his control. Who knows? The bullpen is a fickle thing.
But Scott Munter is never going to be a major league pitcher. I'm sorry. The Holy Sinker Grail of Double Play Starting Goodness is a beautiful dream, but it's just that -- a dream. Let it go.)
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61 comments
Comments
Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by GameSix on
Sep 13, 2007 9:00 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy
by hairball on
Sep 13, 2007 9:45 AM PDT
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Lyrical accompaniment for this great tune
The dream is over.
And it's unbelievably sad.
It's unbelievably sad,
What I didn't expect.
I was relieved as a broken sled
Everyday I drink vodka and lemonade.
You see we all have our part to play.
And it's unbelievably sad.
It's unbelievably sad.
My downfall began.
I've read the script.
I know how it ends.
The dream is over.
The dream is over.
Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy
by hairball on
Sep 13, 2007 9:50 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by zenbitz on
Sep 13, 2007 10:42 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
"Your dream is over...or has it just begun?"
by paboperfecto on
Sep 13, 2007 11:41 AM PDT
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Deafeatist!
by EliminateMe on
Sep 13, 2007 1:02 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by nostocksjustbonds on
Sep 13, 2007 1:50 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by PacBellBoozer on
Sep 13, 2007 9:08 AM PDT
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Bunglers
In the end, they had a lot of cash left, and deeded it over to Zito, who they somehow came to view as a Holy Chalice. How highly did they (and they alone) think of Zito? They'll pay to him for the next six years approximately what they pay as a debt service on their beautiful ballpark.
It was economic malfeasance combined with absymal baseball judgment. Pink slips should have been issued to all involved.
by Moggeee on
Sep 14, 2007 7:44 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
</sarcasm>
by Kitspool on
Sep 13, 2007 9:08 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by Natto on
Sep 13, 2007 9:11 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy
by hairball on
Sep 13, 2007 9:51 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by Kitspool on
Sep 13, 2007 10:11 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy
by hairball on
Sep 13, 2007 10:16 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by Kitspool on
Sep 13, 2007 11:21 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Have you tried AVBC's Summer Solstice Cerveza Crema? Not as puritanically correct a beer as the Boont Amber, but man is it good!
Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy
by hairball on
Sep 13, 2007 12:08 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by Giant Dwarf on
Sep 13, 2007 11:03 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by oooreebay on
Sep 13, 2007 1:29 PM PDT
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George! (WAY OT)
"What about 5 1/2 per cent?"
I had the HONOR of seeing him when I was all of 14 at the University of Alaska with the son of the surgeon who cured my "Welcome to Alaska!" appendicitis - and my father.
We (my friend and I) ROFL'd , in every wayshapeform...we were on the floor at the foot of the bleachers. My dad...probably torn between wanting to guffaw and chagrin that he'd somehow gotten his teenage son into a pretty blue performance.
by victor frankenstein on
Sep 13, 2007 5:52 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by paboperfecto on
Sep 13, 2007 11:42 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by EliminateMe on
Sep 13, 2007 1:10 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by howtheyscored on
Sep 13, 2007 1:21 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by victor frankenstein on
Sep 13, 2007 5:54 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
/confused
I hope it's his last chance to prove he's got something. I've never seen a guy that lives off a sinker throw it above the belt so many times.
by xanthan on
Sep 13, 2007 9:08 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
I COULD SWEAR I HEARD KRUKOW SAY IT LAST NIGHT!!!!!
It's not true?
:(
by Mark carry on on
Sep 13, 2007 9:10 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Hey, I'm a lot like Webb too!
by xanthan on
Sep 13, 2007 9:12 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
same difference.
by Mark carry on on
Sep 13, 2007 9:13 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by Natto on
Sep 13, 2007 9:15 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy
by hairball on
Sep 13, 2007 9:43 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by howtheyscored on
Sep 13, 2007 10:31 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Sorry.
by howtheyscored on
Sep 13, 2007 10:31 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Unfortunately, our pitchers never get to face our offense, which is a shame because it would really help their trade value.
by groug on
Sep 13, 2007 11:17 AM PDT
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A little Off-Topic

From the Washington Post
In the fifth inning of the Florida Marlins' 5-4 victory over the Washington Nationals, home plate umpire Paul Schreiber gave the thumb to an unnamed man seated behind the plate who had been verbally abusive throughout the contest.
"The fan was chirping at the umpire," Nationals catcher Brian Schneider said. "There was no need for it."
The man was so loud, and the atmosphere so quiet, the fan could be heard saying "you don't make more than me" on the television broadcast as he was forced to leave. There were no more than about 400 fans in attendance at the game's peak.
A empty baseball stadium is so sad.
by xanthan on
Sep 13, 2007 11:19 AM PDT
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Re: A little Off-Topic
"If Todd Linden gets the game-winning hit in an empty stadium, does anyone see it?"
by Kitspool on
Sep 13, 2007 11:29 AM PDT
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Re: A little Off-Topic
by PacBellBoozer on
Sep 13, 2007 11:47 AM PDT
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Re: A little Off-Topic
by paboperfecto on
Sep 13, 2007 2:22 PM PDT
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Re: A little Off-Topic
by nostocksjustbonds on
Sep 13, 2007 2:24 PM PDT
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Re: A little Off-Topic
by nostocksjustbonds on
Sep 13, 2007 1:51 PM PDT
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Re: A little Off-Topic
by howtheyscored on
Sep 13, 2007 2:15 PM PDT
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You could use some hot joe , Howie.
by victor frankenstein on
Sep 13, 2007 6:27 PM PDT
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Re: A little Off-Topic
by NearestNorwich on
Sep 13, 2007 8:14 PM PDT
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Unreal Photo
Diehard fans are rare and overrated, anyway. Unless you're an idler, you won't go to unwatchable September games when the team has been out of it since July. Then, management is forced to:
- Assemble a better product
- Leave, or
- File for bankruptcy protection.
by Moggeee on
Sep 14, 2007 8:03 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Also, the dude has the worst pitching motion I've ever seen. I don't think he gets his body into it at all. It's all arm and the arm action isn't very good to begin with.
by jponry on
Sep 13, 2007 11:49 AM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
But you want to know what really irritates me?
WHY THE FUDGE IS RAY DURHAM BATTING CLEANUP????? Why the hell is he even in the lineup??? This boggles the mind, I know he got the game winning homer against the Dodgers and claims he found his groove all of a sudden, but he's still batting .217 with only 11 homers! He sucks, he's done, and he's not going to magically find his groove this late in the year! I feel like Lewis Black here, and all I can do is spew forth profanities (trying to clean up mouth a little, I don't want my daughter's first word to be the F-bomb).
by JRPhillips on
Sep 13, 2007 12:43 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
No Dusty... Marvin Benard sucks. And the sooner you bench him, the happier the fans will be.
Now it's, No Bruce... Ray Durham sucks this year. And the sooner you bench him, the happier the fans will be.
by JRPhillips on
Sep 13, 2007 1:20 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by nostocksjustbonds on
Sep 13, 2007 3:04 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
He gave up one more hit and two more grounders for outs. I'm not a big Munter fan, but hard to hate him for last night.
by Goofus on
Sep 13, 2007 2:10 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Sure, those extra 2 runs didn't mean anything in the big picture, but I've never seen a sinkerballer like Munter throw the ball up in the zone so much. It doesn't bode well for his future.
by xanthan on
Sep 13, 2007 2:16 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
I do blame Bochy for batting Atchinson for the second time this year with a runner on base in a close ballgame during the 5th inning or later. Both times Atchinson has gotten shelled the next inning. And this time it was in SEPTEMBER with an overflowing bench and bullpen.
I'm not sure if I would rather beleive he is trying to win ballgames or not because if he is trying, then that means he doesn't know how to win ballgames.
I'll say it again: Padres let him go for a reason. Fire Bochy please.
by southcitysteve on
Sep 13, 2007 2:46 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by Grant on
Sep 13, 2007 2:58 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by NearestNorwich on
Sep 13, 2007 8:10 PM PDT
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Make or break
by wilriv21 on
Sep 13, 2007 2:34 PM PDT
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Sabean Drinking Game
by Kitspool on
Sep 13, 2007 5:06 PM PDT
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Re: Sabean Drinking Game
by howtheyscored on
Sep 13, 2007 5:44 PM PDT
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Re: Sabean Drinking Game
I'm not sure how a parent would explain all this moral relativism to their kid, but it's pretty obvious that all of the cheating that's been exposed in sports recently is simply a more refined version of what apparently has been going on forever.
by Kitspool on
Sep 13, 2007 9:19 PM PDT
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Re: Sabean Drinking Game
by Goofus on
Sep 13, 2007 9:29 PM PDT
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Once and For All
Scott Munter is not a Minor League Pitcher
Scott Munter is not a Beer League Pitcher
Scott Munter throws a ball like Little Orphan Annie. Scott Munter looks like a refugee from the McNee State Marching Band. I've seen better looking arms on busted slot machines and better mechanics in a Tiajuana chop-shop. Better stuff at the end of a handkerchief. Contagious as polio. Attacking one, infecting many. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA MUNTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
by E Ticket on
Sep 13, 2007 7:16 PM PDT
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Re: Once and For All
by NearestNorwich on
Sep 13, 2007 8:12 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by allfrank on
Sep 13, 2007 8:52 PM PDT
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Re: Choose Your Own Adventure!
by Kitspool on
Sep 13, 2007 9:19 PM PDT
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