Bonds has performed less well in Home Run Derbies than one might expect because he has no excuse to wear a "protector" facing a batting practice pitcher...

This makes sense. And, sure, Bonds hit 19 batting practice home runs in a pitcher's park on Saturday, primarily to the opposite field, but I heard that his elbow pad took BP without him on Sunday and hit 27.

I didn't see the word "might" anywhere in this piece. If he was a little less sure of himself (or had done some simple double-blind experiments to back this theory), I would have taken this a lot more seriously. And the casual and unexplained "estimate" of 75-100 homers speaks both to arrogance and intellectual laziness of the "Willie Mays would have hit 900 home runs if he didn't play in Candlestick" variety.

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2007/08/06/publiceye/entry3137576.shtml

But my favorite bit is this. Point 2 explains that the apparatus locks when the arms are extended. This gives Bonds an advantage, because normal human elbows, as we all know, are designed to collapse when the arm is extended and locked. After all, we've all seen a hitter suddenly have his elbow unlock and his hands snap back toward his body in the middle of a swing, thereby knocking himself in the face with the bat. It's just part of the game, the way Abner Doubleday intended it.

But the elbow guard is even more nefarious than that! As explained in point 3, at the moment of impact, as the elbow is thus mechanically locked into place, "the weight of the apparatus helps to seal his inner upper arm to his torso." Yes, even though his arms are fully extended, his upper arm is sealed to his torso. Let's all try this at home, shall we?

http://deadspin.com/sports/barry-bonds/jeff-pearlman-on-his-subject-barry-bonds-281739.php

Bonus points if you can make it through the whole thing without getting sick.  

So clearly he has been a cheater his whole life.

Cyborg Barry uses his powers to create a robot duplicate of all baserunners just prior to hitting baseball's first eight-run home run.