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#5a - Rev. 1/21/07

174246766_ea2fd78204_tiny by Grant on in News Comment 63 comments

Something about Benitez's career stats. Almost clever expression of disappointment regarding Benitez's performance so far. Hackneyed joke about his weight. Link to trade rumors involving the Marlins. Link to diary discussing trade rumors. Link to Red Sox denying trade rumors.

Put question about potential replacements here. Ask rhetorical question about their preparedness if they're ready to close. List replacements in order of preference:

  1. Kevin Correia
  2. Brian Wilson
  3. Jonathan Sanchez
  4. Vinnie Chulk
  5. Billy Sadler
  6. Put a really bad ex-Giant here. It's funny because it isn't a realistic solution.
Put note here reiterating that Lincecum should get innings in Fresno, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if he closed.  Name drop Jonathan Papelbon. Link to spring stats for the Giants' relievers and note that none of the possible replacements are doing so hot.

Close by asking if it really worth it to trade Armando and pay his salary just to be rid of him. This is the fifteenth time the question has been brought up, so present it in a different way. Ask readers if they have any bright ideas, or if they are really hoping for one of the above players to sneak into the job.

Make sure there are no traces of this template once the post goes up. Credibility could be damaged if the readers knew you were just doing another paint-by-numbers post. Do not accidentally copy-and-paste the wrong text. Hopefully, the dude will get traded or the rumors stop soon.

0 recs | Comment 63 comments

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Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
It's almost like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, but my coin keeps coming up tails instead.

by Skaldheim on Mar 15, 2007 1:32 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Haven't seen those ST stats yet.  At least Peter is pulling a nice OBP for once.

by beagle on Mar 15, 2007 1:33 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Comment that both shows toadying appreciation for Grant's cleverness and sneaks in a pop-culture reference intended to validate my own MCC-in-crowd credentials.
You're nobody 'til everybody in
this town thinks you're a Matos

by EliminateMe on Mar 15, 2007 1:43 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Relevant Simpsons quote in response to your post.

by Grant on Mar 15, 2007 1:56 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Insert inane comment that further solidifies status as most worthless contributor at McC.
Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

by Goofus on Mar 15, 2007 1:59 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Ask if there are pictures?
My Adopted San Francisco Giant: Notgardo Alfonzo

by tk on Mar 15, 2007 3:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Paean to Grant, excoriate (and agree with) Goofus, meaningless arcana, gratuitous reference to early '70s SF ballplayer.  -30-
"Mow bwiefings?" "More briefings."

by stobgopper on Mar 15, 2007 3:33 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Change to subject line just to be different
Pointless criticism related to "parts of speech" and/or some much-disputed fine point punctuation.
Ever hopeful for all our rising stars, like Tim and Cain ... and David B. Flemming!

by giantnitpick on Mar 15, 2007 9:03 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Change to subject line just to be different
Comment with all the subtlety and nuance of "That's what she said!"  Possible reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Check in vain to see if anyone replies.  Cry self to sleep clutching oversized pillow.

"When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

by multiphasic on Mar 15, 2007 9:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Well done, me.
"When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

by multiphasic on Mar 16, 2007 11:05 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Even-handed comment that tries to have it both ways but really says nothing. Fawning appreciation for Grant. Update on my sobriety.

by Dan from NM on Mar 15, 2007 6:59 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
The fact is that "the kid" (Lincecum) is really the only other choice besides Armando that has any realistic chance of sucess.  The rest are just a collection of mediocre middle relievers that at best could match what Armando did the last two years with no upside like a healthy Armando and "the kid" would have.

by giantsrainman on Mar 15, 2007 1:51 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I bet the other guy's could stay healthy the entire season AND not throw their teammates under a bus to cover their failures. And they'd probably convert more saves, too.
Randy Winn > Hurricanes

by Punch Rockgroin on Mar 15, 2007 2:06 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
guys

Damn it.

Randy Winn > Hurricanes

by Punch Rockgroin on Mar 15, 2007 2:42 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Chill out man.  Just simmer down now.
Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

by PacBellBoozer on Mar 15, 2007 2:59 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Spelling and grammar mistakes anger me. This board fills me with rage. I try not to read anything on message boards or chat rooms for fear of going Hulk on somebody.

Randy Winn's grammar is perfect.

Randy Winn > Hurricanes

by Punch Rockgroin on Mar 15, 2007 3:42 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Well I hate all Republicans, children, and certain fatty closers.  You don't see me going nuts on them do you?!?  Wait a second....Nevermind.
Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

by PacBellBoozer on Mar 15, 2007 4:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
whaqtin phuk r u talkin bout? dood? like chill n shit man.YOURRRRRRRRRRR TOOOOOOOOOOO BONZZOOOO!! and gnagarly and stuff totally.
Save Matt Morris. Save The Pitchers. Save The World.

by E Ticket on Mar 15, 2007 6:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Where is the guy who adopted Correia, and why isn't he here right now? That's what I want to know.

Benitez is a pipe dream, people. He's down to one good pitch (count it, one pitch he doesn't consistently hang) that he doesn't throw as hard as he used to and his health is a major question mark. His past success means very little considering these two things.

Somebody who can do marginally worse than a top projection for Benitez, but can do it with health and consistency is much more valuable in the role. I'll leave it to the rest of you to figure out that I'm talking about Correia (I like him in long relief better, and want to see Wilson get a shot and then maybe Sanchez firs, but he is ultimately the most legitimate available option).

Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

by howtheyscored on Mar 15, 2007 3:46 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
On behalf of the newest member of my family, I thank you for your support, and naturally agree with you wholeheartedly. I mean, what's the difference between throwing 3 innings of scoreless ball in a 9-2 game, and protecting a one-run lead in the 9th? Pshah. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to scroll down and go deal with the haters.
For just pennies a day, you too can make a difference in the life of a Giants player...like Kevin Correia.

by VidaWantsYourCar on Mar 15, 2007 6:03 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Don't write off Billy Sadler! I won't stand for it!!!
Haven't thought of something witty yet Billy Sadler

by MeSoKrabby on Mar 15, 2007 4:01 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Brian Wilson has closer stuff, but not the experience. I sure would like to see him as the eighth inning guy for a year before he gets to pitch the ninth.
closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

by rxmeister on Mar 16, 2007 7:41 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I'd still like to see Correia get a shot, myself. I think if the improvements he showed last year are real, he could be a solid closer.
Proud Member of the Adopt-a-Giant program (Matt Cain)

by jponry on Mar 15, 2007 2:03 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Yea but I heard that he has a wig for his wig and a brain for his heart
I live life like every week is shark week. Oh and ignore the spelling. I do.....

by someguynamedg on Mar 15, 2007 3:58 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
And something about courage, if we heard it from the same guy.
Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

by howtheyscored on Mar 15, 2007 4:11 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
He'll kick you apart!
He'll kick you apart!
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Mar 15, 2007 4:14 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I was going to let my boy work this out on his own--a good parent doesn't hover, after all--but those of you questioning his heart/courage/brain have quite simply left me no choice. He has all three in spades; in fact, if he found himself in front of the Wizard of Oz, he would have nothing to ask for. Except for maybe a chance: a chance to close, a chance to shine, a chance to...ah, hell...he's got good stuff, okay? Krukow said so.

Damn, this adoption's gonna be harder than I thought.

For just pennies a day, you too can make a difference in the life of a Giants player...like Kevin Correia.

by VidaWantsYourCar on Mar 15, 2007 4:21 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Besides...
My kid OWNS Dustan Mohr: 5 ABs, 3Ks.
For just pennies a day, you too can make a difference in the life of a Giants player...like Kevin Correia.

by VidaWantsYourCar on Mar 15, 2007 4:37 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Besides...
You did mean to type 'PWNS', right?
Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

by hairball on Mar 15, 2007 5:58 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Besides...
Of course...gotta look hip for my new son.
For just pennies a day, you too can make a difference in the life of a Giants player...like Kevin Correia.

by VidaWantsYourCar on Mar 15, 2007 6:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
So your preference is Correia, yourself.  In that order?
Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

by Goofus on Mar 16, 2007 6:30 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I could do a better job than Armando!
Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Mar 16, 2007 10:11 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I just had to reply and let you know you have the funniest sig I've ever seen. Bonus points for being obscure.

by clevername on Mar 16, 2007 11:52 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Baseball themed non sequitur that demonstrates the wackiness personally brought to the site.
Mandowear | comics | Sugarman FTW

by Natto on Mar 15, 2007 2:23 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Is Matt Herges avaliable?
http://giantsoffseason.blogspot.com

by NeifiChicken on Mar 15, 2007 2:52 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

If you absolutely had to....
...choose between these guys, right now, to close one game down for the Giants, who would it be?
  1. Steve Bedrosian
  2. Rod Beck
  3. Craig Lefferts
  4. Jeff Brantley
Nenn gets no mention, because I am absolutely sure that he could lock it down for a two walk three strikeout save.

by hammystyle on Mar 15, 2007 3:17 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: If you absolutely had to....
Rod Beck in a heartbeat.
Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

by hairball on Mar 15, 2007 5:59 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
No , no , a thousand times - no!
Yes , Scott...it IS loaded. Start running.

by victor frankenstein on Mar 15, 2007 3:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Uh , my previous "Nono" concerned Herges.
Yes , Scott...it IS loaded. Start running.

by victor frankenstein on Mar 15, 2007 3:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sanchez could be our Papelbon
If Wilson can't get the job done, then it seems that Sanchez is the next most viable option. It is a waste to use him solely as a LOOGY and we already have 2 other legit long men (Correia and Hennessey). Sanchez throws hard and has a good presence out there. Yes, he walks too many, but if we're willing to let Wilson try and cut down on the walks, then we should give Sanchez the same shot.
We'd be pretty good if we didn't suck so bad.

by nostocksjustbonds on Mar 15, 2007 3:38 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
New Rumor: Giants interested in Jorge Julio

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070315&content_id=1844431&vkey=spt2007news&fex t=.jsp

Adopted Giant Brian Wilson, he shall save us!

by sfgreg on Mar 15, 2007 3:48 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I had a dream a few months ago that the Gordo on Solano changed its name to Jorge Julio's (complete with an awful gaudy neon sign), but just now realized where that name must have come from.  I had completely forgotten that such a man actually exists.
2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

by wjackalope on Mar 15, 2007 3:54 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
But not for the closer spot, right?
Randy Winn > Hurricanes

by Punch Rockgroin on Mar 15, 2007 3:57 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Maybe Grant should write a post on the history of the phrase "Be careful what you wish for."
Of course, we'll let ourselves off the hook if the Gs spend all of '07 looking for Benitez' replacement, while he saves 30 games for the Red Sox - hell, we'll not only forgive ourselves, we'll blame Sabean.  

by allfrank on Mar 15, 2007 4:06 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
If Benitez saves 30 games for the Red Sox at an 85% clip, I'd still be glad that he wasn't getting another chance to blow them at a 25% clip for us.
Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

by howtheyscored on Mar 15, 2007 4:12 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
We'd never blame Sabean. Livan Hernandez turned into a fabulous pitcher after he was dumped, but you'll never read anyone ripping Sabes for that one.

by Grant on Mar 15, 2007 4:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Benitez: You can't live with him, and you can't live without him.
With Barry back, what could go wrong?

by Rusty the Mechanical Man on Mar 15, 2007 5:13 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Try me. Just try me.
Save Matt Morris. Save The Pitchers. Save The World.

by E Ticket on Mar 15, 2007 6:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I'd manage.
We'd be pretty good if we didn't suck so bad.

by nostocksjustbonds on Mar 15, 2007 8:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
There is no way Benitez comes north with the team, which is as it should be. Wilson is not the answer. He's the neo-Tyler Walker. Ball one. Ball two. Ball three. Ball four. I am on the side of the kid. He's the best pitcher of the bunch, and he's going to get better. Fans will have as much patience as it takes. Give him the ball and enjoy.
Just one time before I die

by Katman on Mar 15, 2007 5:11 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
the kid as in "the kid aka the Enchanter", or the kid as in Wilson?
Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

by hairball on Mar 15, 2007 6:00 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You some kind of troublemaker
trying to confuse the issue? A kid is a kid is a kid. Right? Rong?
Save Matt Morris. Save The Pitchers. Save The World.

by E Ticket on Mar 15, 2007 6:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

There can be only one, MacLeod.
Neo-Tyler Walker would go: ball one, ball two, ball three, ball awesome!
"When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

by multiphasic on Mar 15, 2007 10:01 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Armando is washed up...

http://www.americanlegends.blogspot.com

www.americanlegends.blogspot.com

by JMEnglish on Mar 15, 2007 7:29 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Armando Benitez reference with a link to some site called "American Legends." This is the respect my adopted Giant deserves!! Not the vicious slamming that is taking place everywhere else. How come every topic on this board, no matter what the subject heading is winds up with a discussion of how fat and awful Armando Benitez is?? Even the one on the NCAA tournament!!
closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

by rxmeister on Mar 16, 2007 7:48 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Even the one on the NCAA tournament!!
Because he ate the Stanford BB team, AND all their gear.
Save Matt Morris. Save The Pitchers. Save The World.

by E Ticket on Mar 16, 2007 10:08 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: Even the one on the NCAA tournament!!
He not only ate their team, he ate 30 of their points in the first round, turning a close win into a devastating loss.
Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

by howtheyscored on Mar 16, 2007 11:33 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I think Dave Roberts could close, if they'd only let him...
Adopting Dave Roberts since 2007

by hometownboy on Mar 15, 2007 10:15 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
I just noticed the revision date "1/27/07" and spit milk out my nose.
Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

by Goofus on Mar 16, 2007 8:38 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Lets not count out the Mariners acquiring Armando just yet...

"After experiencing tightness in his elbow following a bullpen session Thursday, J.J. Putz is scheduled to undergo an MRI.
''As of right now, the stress has gone away,'' Putz said. ''I'm hoping the MRI shows that everything is well. It was sort of an aching stiffness that went away. They're telling me that's a good sign."
rotoworld

Adopted Giant Brian Wilson, he shall save us!

by sfgreg on Mar 16, 2007 9:59 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
yeah, it's a good sign alright. A good sign of impending Tommy John surgery!! The thing with Armando going to Seattle is that they actually had him once before. Why would any team that had him actually want him back??
closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

by rxmeister on Mar 16, 2007 12:00 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
As the classic rap song says, "Self-deconstruction, you're headed for self-deconstruction."
Never mind whatever I do!!! Fan is my tresure!!!

by leftymalo on Mar 16, 2007 12:22 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Re: #5a - Rev. 1/21/07
Heresy! I'm a "We're All in the Same Gang"-man. You can like both, but sooner or later you're going to have to choose....

by Grant on Mar 16, 2007 2:35 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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