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Around SBN: Dog Football! Which Breeds Are Best Suited For The Gridiron?

Adopt A Giant

Goofus_tiny by Goofus on

Rxmeister officially adopted Mando in this thread http://www.mccoveychronicles.com/story/2007/3/10/17421/1108#commenttop and it got me thinking.  We should all adopt a Giant.  

As adoptive McCer, it's your duty to defend him when he's getting ganged up on here and lead the singing of his praises when he's doing well. You'll surely also catch grief when your player plays like crap. Ideally, you're able to dig up silver linings when things are going bad like his OBP is 20 points higher in night games played in NL Central parks.

Since I'm thinking of it, I get to make up the rules:

  • Only one poster per player; 1st come; 1st served as posted here
  • Minor leaguers can be adopted
  • Your adopted player needs to be added to your signature, so we know who to abuse hwen a player does poorly
  • Manager and coaches can be adopted
    • Since I think it was me who first suggested signing him and I'm a former Padre fan, I'll take Klesko. Rxmeister had Mando.

    Who's in?

    This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Since I live in San Luis Obispo County and am therefore treated in the local paper to breathless updates on his career as a former Cal Poly Mustang, I'll adopt Correia. Could be a wussy choice if he continues in the long relief role, but he could be a key late-inning setup man as well. Either way...someone's gotta take him.
    Game Six? Not a problem. We've got Livan for Game Seven.

    by VidaWantsYourCar on Mar 12, 2007 4:59 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    hear hear
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 14, 2007 9:16 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Tim Lincecum.  Thank you very much!

    by sharksrog on Mar 12, 2007 5:05 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Damn, beat me to it..
    My VORP is higher than your VORP.

    by Poe on Mar 12, 2007 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I beat you by no more than five minutes at the most.  But, boy, am I glad I did.  I feel sorry for you though, but isn't Angel Villalona still available?

    Can we adopt any of the Giants six 2007 draft choices in the first 51 picks in advance?  :)

    by sharksrog on Mar 12, 2007 5:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Reeeally sticking your neck out there, Shark
    That's like volunteering to be Big Brother for Bonnie Prince Charlie.

    We've got a dogpound filled with fleabitten mongrels, and shark instead goes directly to Premium Kennels to grab the Best of Show.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    can I play the trump card here and adopt myself?
    Enchanting Giants Fans since 2006

    by wjackalope on Mar 12, 2007 6:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Ooh, this is one for the McCourt to decide...

    (I'm late to the party-is some pussthrowing 35-year old minor leaguer still available for me to adopt?)

    I own my own business and I'm a giants fan; being a Giants fan is harder.

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 10:04 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I guess I'm now the adoptive father of Julio Izturis, as no one has claimed him. May he make me proud!
    I own my own business and I'm a giants fan; being a Giants fan is harder. Julio Izturis.

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Matt Cain, please! :D
    LicensetoPills: they say this to my family. to barry bonds family. and i say, "i'll bust you up. here is a candy corn."

    by jponry on Mar 12, 2007 5:11 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Damn you !!
    Hats for bats, keep bats warm !

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 5:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Hahahaha...fabulous idea.  Are we allowed to pick former Giants who have fallen from grace?  Because if so, I want Shinjo.  

    If that isn't allowed, I would like to adopt Matty Cain.  He throws hard, and there's no way that Lince-whoever-he-is will remove him from the top of the heap of young Giant pitching greats!

    Hats for bats, keep bats warm !

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 5:12 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Ok...scratch that...

    Apparently I bombed at my prospective adoptive interview.  

    I want to adopt Omar, cuz he's dreamy, and I know he really wants to be with kenshin, but screw that...he's mine!

    Hats for bats, keep bats warm !

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 5:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Manlove knows no shame
    ...when the object of one's desire is so Dreamy.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Manlove knows no shame
    Damn strait !
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 5:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

    dude...
    you just earned a 1 way ticket to BANNED! city.  
    Flossing a dead horse

    by kenshin1 on Mar 12, 2007 6:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: dude...
    Dude...I'll let you have him...if you can meet my price!

    MWAAA HAAAA HAAA

    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: dude...
    That's right... all the tea.

    (I feel a little cheap for making that reference, considering our proper reverence and the unfortunate pseudo-rivalry between the two, but it was a funny joke)

    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 12, 2007 9:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Manlove knows no shame
    Well, not all that damn straight.
    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Gary Busey..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 12, 2007 8:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo....
    ooooooooooooooo.........!

    by Omar Vizquel on Mar 13, 2007 7:53 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    How do we add our player's name to our signature?  I would be more than happy to add Tim's to mine -- and to take any and all abuse he earns.  I'm feeling somewhat teflon on this one.  :)

    by sharksrog on Mar 12, 2007 5:15 PM PDT reply actions  

    Cradle Robber
    I hope nobody offers to help this bloodthirsty denizen of the deep.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Cradle Robber
    I'm with you on this one.  If he can't figure that one out, then I'm pretty sure he's not a fit parent.  

    Is there anything else about himself that he's kept from us?  Does he wear a dress on the weekends?  What about that heroin problem a few months back?

    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 5:21 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Share the Threads
    Hey, Shark -- that weekend dress? Boozer asks for a reason. He meets Omar on Adoption Day, and wants to be appropriately attired to express the purest ManlyLove.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Share the Threads
    Don't need the dress when I've got a fine pair of ass-less leather chaps my friend!
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    click on the link called "sharksrog's Page" on the black bar on the right.

    Go to your profile. Fill in the signature field. Save changes.

    Now, I will be ruthlessly abused by everyone for helping you. It's okay, I am confident in little Julio's ability to defend me once he's old enough.

    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 10:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Damn you hairball.  We should force you to wear my dress or maybe some ass-less leather chaps!
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 13, 2007 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Gone are the days of feckless youth
    Don't tempt him with your happy hijinks, Booze.

    Harry's a father now, and must set a good example for his no account, rudderless, zero-trade-value son.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 11:56 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Somebody should really adopt Flannery. A third base coach is perfect for this. (Uh...he IS the third base coach this year, isn't he?)
    Proud member of the Adopt-a-Giant program (Kevin Correia)

    by VidaWantsYourCar on Mar 12, 2007 5:18 PM PDT reply actions  

    No takers yet
    Flannery will have to go in the Supplemental Draft, after the last pick -- Feliz -- is taken.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Is it wrong for me to pick Zito??
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed.

    by giantscatcher on Mar 12, 2007 5:20 PM PDT reply actions  

    Green Light
    Yes it's wrong, but girls get away with murder on this site, so have at it.

    Also, Barry Z. prefers female sponsorship.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    It's only right that I adopt Todd Linden. The guy is the Mickey Mantle of Fresno!

    by antinous on Mar 12, 2007 5:21 PM PDT reply actions  

    Going out on a limb
    Atta babe, Antinous. You will shed a few tears, but Todd has some upside.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    You'll do, was hoping for that prick Kenshin.

    by Todd Linden on Mar 13, 2007 9:38 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    This isn't going to lead to super-deformed versions of the players on signature banners, is it? And I adopt Durham.
    Mandowear - Clothing an entire generation | comics

    by Natto on Mar 12, 2007 5:22 PM PDT reply actions  

    Gluteus Hitteus Maximus
    Headed for 110 RBI if he keeps the Cleanup Spot and keeps his tendons from snapping.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I claim Notgardo for me, and Sanchez for the Baron, so make a note of it.

    by tk on Mar 12, 2007 5:29 PM PDT reply actions  

    Bravo
    TK continues a noble campaign, "Save Notgardo" with a heartfelt Adoption.

    Baron, let us say, has a more elegant -- if somewhat forgotten -- Poster Child to care for.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Thank you
    Anyone paying attention (yes, I know that's all of you) would know it had to be Notgardo for me. I have lots of reasons, but one obscure one is that his current number 50 is the former number of my all-time Giant. Who shall go unnamed.

    How about you, Mr. Comment Mans? Who's YOUR Giant?

    My Adopted San Francisco Giant: Notgardo Alfonzo

    by tk on Mar 12, 2007 5:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

    My Grand Plan
    TK, I must stay above the fray.

    Primarily to retain my "objectivity," but better yet, to light a player's hair on fire if he has earned it.

    Besides, there are many deserving parents here. They can have their stray cats, and I, yes I, can condemn them all (moms, dads, and kids) without playing favorites.

    Oooooh. Delicious.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 11:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

    TK is risking a BANNED!
    In recent years, No. 50 has been worn by Manny Aybar, Todd Linden, and GASP.....

    Brett Tomko.

    (ahem....unadoptable.)

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 11:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Yeahno
    Got it in three. No bannination for my Tomko love, it is last year's news.
    My Adopted San Francisco Giant: Notgardo Alfonzo

    by tk on Mar 13, 2007 12:38 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I was gonna ask for Burriss or Velez actually. But you are a gem for jumping in for me.
    "Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist." Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 12, 2007 7:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Had to make a wild guess there ... it was either him or the other one ;)
    My Adopted San Francisco Giant: Notgardo Alfonzo

    by tk on Mar 13, 2007 12:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I could run away with both of them clutched in my neon purple claws but that's not allowed. Alas.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 13, 2007 8:06 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Count me down for one very adopted Righetti!
    Coming to you by proxy

    by howtheyscored on Mar 12, 2007 5:30 PM PDT reply actions  

    Obscure pick
    Almost lost in the 2006 Felipe Shuffle, this pitching coach has a name which rhymes with "Macaroni."

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 5:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    New sig says it all. Thanks.
    Defender of Noah Lowry.

    by Kid Fresh on Mar 12, 2007 6:06 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I got Sweet Fred Lewis.  Someone needs to take care of him - he's only 26!  I have a parent/manager meeting with Bochy next week to discuss areas where Little Freddie can improve.  I have high hopes.  I'm thinking in 10 years he might get to start for the Big Club!

    by Uribe nee Gonzalez on Mar 12, 2007 6:09 PM PDT reply actions  

    Unwanted Stepchild
    I'm the only one around here old enough to be Morris father. He is on restriction until he
    1.  Stops throwing like a girl
    2.  Retires
    3.  Gets eaten by Alfrank's kid
    I am also going to adopt his brother Roos Ortiz. Simply for the fact that I will need a useless head to bounce Morris' off of.

    I figure if anybody can knock some sense into these lamers, it's me.

    Save The Pitcher. Save The World

    by E Ticket on Mar 12, 2007 6:10 PM PDT reply actions  

    I'm just dreaming a bad dream
    You have soiled your Pure, Historic, Blessed, Knighted, Giant Essence by affiliating yourself with Suck.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 11:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

    The Nightmare Continues
    As their stepfather, I have certain rights under the law. As do they.

    In the event of a repeat of the crime waves each has perpertrated from the pitching mound in the past, I plan to exercise those rights.

    For instance, they might want to invoke the right to remain silent. But then, I will have the right to kick them in the ass. They will have the right to have an attorney present during questioning, and I will have the right to kick their attorney in the ass too. If they cannot afford one, one will be provided for them, but I get to pick him, he will be on my payroll, and I will kick him in the ass ahead of time just to remind him who's paying the bills. I will then ask them if they understand their rights, and they will nod their noggins like the bobbleheads they are, just like they will when I ask them if they want to waive those rights.

    Now it is probably too much to ask for both of these incorrigible disasters to pitch commendably on any sort of consistent basis, but if one of 'em makes it, the Giants should be better off than last year.

    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepchildren Matt and Russ. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 8:49 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Um, Child Protective Services...
    ...would like to have a word with you.
    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 13, 2007 4:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Um, Child Protective Services...
    I'm sure they would, however I loaned my phone to El Mando and he ate it, so I am incommunicado--though I'm sure Mando wishes it were avacado.
    Save Matt Morris. Save The Pitchers. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 6:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I will take the future closer, Brian Wilson.  Next time he walks 3 straight he is going to hear it from me!

    by sfgreg on Mar 12, 2007 6:13 PM PDT reply actions  

    RICHIE
    I can't believe my man isn't taken yet.  Aurilia it is for me... now to change the sig...
    2002? I'm over it.

    by wjackalope on Mar 12, 2007 6:15 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I have dibs on Todd "Spring Blossom" Linden

    by atleehammer and sickle on Mar 12, 2007 6:20 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    antinous beat you to it
    2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

    by wjackalope on Mar 12, 2007 6:21 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Sorry man, the Toddster has already been adopted.

    by sfgreg on Mar 12, 2007 6:21 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I would like to adopt Barry Lamar Bonds. He is the inspiration for my name on here after all.
    hung up on '02

    by BondsApologist on Mar 12, 2007 6:27 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    me, too!
    We'd be pretty good if we didn't suck so bad.

    by nostocksjustbonds on Mar 13, 2007 7:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Blasted
    Is Wendell Kim taken?
    If not, I would like Frandsen
    Todd Linden

    by atleehammer and sickle on Mar 12, 2007 6:29 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    i shall adopt kevin frandsen
    "Do you know what F.P. stands for?" "Fuckin Pimp"

    by sfgiants114 on Mar 12, 2007 6:34 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Looks like atleehammer beat you to it by five minutes.
    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 12, 2007 6:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Wilson respectfully requests a temporary protectorate of the most hated player (within the organization), Pedro "The Mule" Feliz.

    And before you start, CHECK THE RBIs!!!  I don't care how many times he GIDP, more than 12 of those RBIs were meaningful.  And you just can't replace that kind of production.

    I'm surrounded by bums. and the homeless too.

    by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 12, 2007 6:48 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Ahahaha....The Mule....I'm laughing out loud right now.  Great one.
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 9:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    he does rather look like one.
    I'm surrounded by bums. and the homeless too.

    by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 12, 2007 10:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    'bout as stubborn as one too.  Don't swing.  BAD DONKEY !
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 11:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'll take Jonathon Sanchez, now that the Enchanter and Cain are gone.

    by Aadik on Mar 12, 2007 6:51 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'm pretty sure Sanchez has been put on reserve for Baron by tk. I don't know the official ruling on reservations, but you might want to bring it up to the board of directors if you really want Sanchez to be your guy.
    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 12, 2007 6:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Take Sanchez. I'm adopting minor league infielders.
    "Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist." Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 12, 2007 7:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

    But Sanchez had mucho upsido
    In a shocking turn, Baron trades down.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 11:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Mark (don't call me Mike) Sweeney is mine.  Woohoo for pinch hitting!

    by scotterduder on Mar 12, 2007 7:02 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Wow, doing some research here, and as recently as 2005 Sweeney had an OPS+ of 136 and OBP of .395.  Can we have that guy back, please?
    Adopted: Mark Sweeney

    by scotterduder on Mar 12, 2007 7:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Natural Career Arc
    Sorry, man. He's been relegated to Greenie Dispenser.

    by Moggeee on Mar 12, 2007 11:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    No thanks I have kids of my own, besides ballplayers curse and spit everywhere.
    With Barry back, what could go wrong?

    by Rusty the Mechanical Man on Mar 12, 2007 7:31 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'll take Randy Winn.
    Steroids > Hurricanes

    by Punch Rockgroin on Mar 12, 2007 7:38 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'm in love with Eugenio Velez in a strictly platonic baseball sort of way. I love Emmanuel Burriss slightly more because I interviewed him on draft day. I know I can't claim two even if I claimed they followed me home so I'll go with Burriss.
    "Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist." Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 12, 2007 7:38 PM PDT reply actions  

    Thou Icy Heart
    Jonathan Sanchez is leaning over the railing on the Golden Gate Bridge pedestrian walk.

    Please talk to him, give him one more chance, before you leave him for a younger prospect.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:04 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Stoppit
    That was just a shot in the dark anyway ... um ... let's find a better metaphor, shall we?
    My Adopted San Francisco Giant: Notgardo Alfonzo

    by tk on Mar 13, 2007 12:15 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Thou Icy Heart
    Maybe Sanchez, Velez, and Burriss should battle. The winner is my Adopt-a-Giant. 4 collegiate no-hitters and five school records vs. the Sally League MVP vs. a Cape Cod League MVP and CCL record holder for stolen bases. I could do worse.

    Watching guys fight over me never gets old.

    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 13, 2007 8:21 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Noah
    "I want to dip my balls in it." Louie

    by MeSoKrabby on Mar 12, 2007 7:46 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Lowry
    "Cha-Cha-Changes" Noah Lowry

    by MeSoKrabby on Mar 12, 2007 7:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Ummm....scratch that. I'm new at this "reading" thing.
    "Cha-Cha-Changes" Noah Lowry

    by MeSoKrabby on Mar 12, 2007 7:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Billy Sadler
    Haven't thought of something witty yet Billy Sadler

    by MeSoKrabby on Mar 12, 2007 7:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'm adopting Randy Winn, because... um... he's there.
    Adopting Randy Winn since 2007

    by hometownboy on Mar 12, 2007 7:47 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Winn makes you Randy?
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 12, 2007 7:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Not that there's anything wrong with that.
    Adopting Dave Roberts since 2007

    by hometownboy on Mar 12, 2007 8:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Love, like a bat, is a many splintered thing
    There's no shame. Boozer loves Omar. And better yet, he may a dress he can loan you.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:08 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Doh!  I meant, um... Dave Roberts.
    Adopting Randy Winn since 2007

    by hometownboy on Mar 12, 2007 7:49 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Roberts makes you Dave?

    Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 12, 2007 10:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Better grab em quick before that Anjolie woman finds out.

    by robbgin on Mar 12, 2007 7:51 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Or Madonna?
    Adopting Dave Roberts since 2007

    by hometownboy on Mar 12, 2007 7:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Looks like no one's picked Bochy.  I'll take him.
    Mighty Casey would have taken Armando Benitez deep.

    by Stuttering John Tamargo on Mar 12, 2007 7:52 PM PDT reply actions  

    hahahahahahaha
    If I had a mouthful of anything, it would be splattered all over the computer screen right now.
    For just pennies a day, you too can make a difference in the life of a Giants player...like Kevin Correia.

    by VidaWantsYourCar on Mar 13, 2007 9:32 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Oh no...
    That plays right into the Head reference. Leave it alone, Moggeee. Please move on to the next post.
    For just pennies a day, you too can make a difference in the life of a Giants player...like Kevin Correia.

    by VidaWantsYourCar on Mar 13, 2007 9:34 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
      I didn't know who - all was available.
    So I Yahoogled "S.F.Giants" to bring up the team page...guess who they show as the "Team leader in IP"?
    Yup , and wearing the black hat - as befits the villain.
    Wait...it's our hat...also for all our MandoMassMania , Mr. Munter apparently outtips the scales by one pound.

    I can help him...or really annoy the hell out of him.

    Then it all came rushing back to me - like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist!

    by victor frankenstein on Mar 12, 2007 7:58 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'm up for a challenge.

    I adopt none other than the Bull, San Francisco University High School's finest, the Bane and Boon of Ruth's Chris...

    Tyler Walker.

    Did I mention I totally went to high school with him?  'Cos I totally went to high school with him.  Thought I'd mention it.

    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Gary Busey..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 12, 2007 8:08 PM PDT reply actions  

    You, Sir, are a Prince
    Walker may not make an appearance until July.

    But somehow, I think you'll be called on to defend him before then.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:13 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    shitshitshitshitshit

    you were 96? 05 myself

    check, check/i be tha numba one stunna/punk ya don't want nunna/this matt hurricaine gonna/um.../uh.../strike you out

    by nick @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 13, 2007 7:07 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    '97, actually.

    E-mail me if you wanna talk sh*t.  'Cos I've gotta lotta of shit worth the talking.

    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 13, 2007 4:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Someone's gotta do it...
    I'll take the freight train, Bengie Molina.

    by Brother Bummer on Mar 12, 2007 8:11 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I changed my mind, I'd like to adopt Hilary Duff please, as an Honorary Giant.

    Please see Ms. Duff hard at work in Milan, Italy as you consider my proposal:

    http://it.news.yahoo.com/12032007/107/immagine/hilary-duff-with-love-1.html

    With Barry back, what could go wrong?

    by Rusty the Mechanical Man on Mar 12, 2007 8:11 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Kline.  Not because I like him or anything, but I'd rather adopt him than Molina.
    I've grown up a lot since before dinner, when we last talked.

    by groug on Mar 12, 2007 8:14 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Can we claim whoever the Giants get in return for Mando?

    by NearestNorwich on Mar 12, 2007 8:23 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Can a pizza play 1b?
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepchildren Matt and Russ. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 12, 2007 8:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

    You've got bigger pizzas to fry
    Hey, that Armando comment was pretty funny.

    But listen, Mister, you better start thinking about how you're gonna defend your new son, Matt Morris.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:17 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'll take Sweet Ray Durham since he parties more than any current Giant.  Just like the man in MY signature, The Legend.
    "Why you gotta be cardin' my hos?" - Charlie Hayes

    by stevieg on Mar 12, 2007 8:33 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Dammit.  He's already gone.  I'll stay homeless.
    "Why you gotta be cardin' my hos?" - Charlie Hayes

    by stevieg on Mar 12, 2007 8:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Holdin' back the tears
    (it doesn't seem so now, but it's really a blessing.)

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I've been working all day, so I came a little late to this weird Giant key party.  At first I was afraid that nobody would be left because at the time I clicked on the diary, there were 75 comments. What I failed to take into account is that 59 of them are Moggee's comments on EVERYONE's comments.

    Of course, all the prime meat was already gobbled up, so I have decided to take a totally different tack, a job so big and occasionally weird that it might not be possible for me to deliver, but that's what makes the challenge so damn fun.

    Love Giants; get heart and mind fried by Giants; repeat.

    by Mayor of 311 on Mar 12, 2007 8:54 PM PDT reply actions  

    A List of Those Taken for Reference....
    Goofus ~ Klesko
    Rxmeister ~ Mando
    16th and Bryant ~ Correia
    Sharksrog ~ Lincecum
    Jponry ~ Cain
    PacBell Boozer ~ Vizquel
    Giantscatcher ~ Zito
    Antinous ~ Linden
    Natto ~ Durham
    TK ~ NotEdgardo
    Howtheyscored ~ Righetti
    Kid Fresh ~ Lowry
    Uribe nee Gonzalez ~ Lewis
    E ~ Morris
    Sfgreg ~ Wilson
    Wjackalope ~ Aurillia
    Bonds Apologist ~ Bonds
    Atleehammer ~ Frandsen
    Chulk ~ Chulk
    Aadik ~ Snachez
    Scotterduder ~ Sweeney
    Big McLargeHue ~ Winn
    Baron ~ Eugenio Velez
    MeSoKrabby ~ Sadler
    Hometownboy ~ Roberts
    Stuttering John ~ Bochy
    Multiphasic ~ Walker
    Groug ~ Kline
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed. Giants Adoptee: Barry Zito

    by giantscatcher on Mar 12, 2007 8:55 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: A List of Those Taken for Reference....
    I've got Molina.
    I'll take the freight train, Bengie Molina.

    by Brother Bummer on Mar 12, 2007 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Molina
    (maybe you should take him in installments.)

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:22 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: A List of Those Taken for Reference....
    Can I have Eugenio Burriss? Emmanuel Velez?
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 12, 2007 9:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I will take Threets. Mostly because there's nobody left that's even remotely interesting.

    by mxmob33 on Mar 12, 2007 9:14 PM PDT reply actions  

    It's a load, baby
    Bummer may be willing to sell half of Molina to you.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:24 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I shall take Tyler Walker.  He can't go unadopted, unloved, and most importantly unfed.

    by AndYourBirdCanSing on Mar 12, 2007 9:31 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Well since I can't read, I'll take Brad Hennessey. I'm rooting for him.
    Proud Papa of Tyler Walker since 2007. You'll make it back to the majors soon enough kid.

    by AndYourBirdCanSing on Mar 12, 2007 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Good Pick
    Hennessey has a job as soon as Morris craps out completely.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Good Pick
    Anybody else had the undeniable urge to settle down for a Hennessey start with a bottle of the stuff, and see where that takes you?

    It just seems so damn right. But, I don't want to actually buy it. Limited funds are murder when it comes to players whose names double as drinks.

    I tell you, all this was a lot simpler when it was just O.J. Simpson.

    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 13, 2007 12:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Good Pick
    Here's some hope for the future: the Baseball Cube lists two guys with the last name "Pabst" currently playing college ball.

    They both suck, but sometimes you gotta draft for the intangibles.

    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 13, 2007 12:56 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Good Pick
    Now all I need is a couple of guys named "Cheap Vodka," and I'll be a pretty happy fan.
    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 13, 2007 1:08 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Good Pick
    it might be hard to find a guy whose last name is "Three Star" but if you look in the right places you could probably come up with a "Popov" most likely a "Gordon" and if you're lucky an "Aristocrat."
    2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

    by wjackalope on Mar 13, 2007 10:44 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Keep your mitts off my Big Beautiful Closer.

    And enough of this Thighler crap.  He's zaftig.  Zaftig I say!

    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 12, 2007 10:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Damn it, i wanted to rock the whole alcohol to alcohol thing,oh well, thats what i get for being late to the party

    by smirnoff on Mar 14, 2007 12:53 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Munter's quite upset...but it's in his best interest.
    Yes , Scott...it IS loaded. Start running.

    by victor frankenstein on Mar 12, 2007 9:38 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Angel Villalona for me, please.
    older brother of wjackalope and Poe

    by Lorrimer on Mar 12, 2007 10:25 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    KANOODLER! Nice pick.
    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 12, 2007 10:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    My dad called him Justin Kneidlach ...
    My Adopted San Francisco Giant: Notgardo Alfonzo

    by tk on Mar 13, 2007 12:35 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Is this a Cry for Help?
    Sounds like TK needs a dad for her dad...

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:57 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Is this a Cry for Help?
    Like most dads of adult children, we no longer feel it neccessary to make an effort to pronounce names of people correctly. Even those of our own kids. Or to even remember their names for that matter.
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepchildren Matt and Russ. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 9:03 AM PDT up reply actions  

    My Son, the Suck
    Above is a handy name you can use generally for all your new kids.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: My Son, the Suck
    And my other son, Suck's brother.
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepchildren Matt and Russ. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Can you adopt minor leaguers?  Adam Cowart all the way.  Know nothing about him besides his amazing stats (and thats all that matters to me) look them up. Insane.
    I've been suffering from post traumatic stress disorder ever since Game 6.

    by April3rdLifeBegins on Mar 12, 2007 10:30 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Um...hate to break this to ya, but as his adoptive custodian, it's your job to do the legwork and present us with the stats.  Who is this Adam Cowart, an why should I care?
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 12, 2007 11:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I likes me a 0.71 WHIP and 1.79:1 GB/FB ratio.
    David de Sportszilla
    McC adoptee: EME

    by David A. Arnott on Mar 12, 2007 11:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    As his adopted custodian, i will provide you with his baseball cube info.

    A 35th rounder (1046th overall)he pitched 83.1 innings (15) starts for A- Salem Kaizer.  (Same team as Emmanuel Burris)  In 83.1 innings he gave up 10 earned runs and only 51 hits, while compiling a 10-1 record and a 1.08 era (i believe he gave up 4 of those runs and got the loss in his last start.

    To put it plainly, hes a best.  Maybe a fluke, but a beast, and I will defend him like a father.

    I've been suffering from post traumatic stress disorder ever since Game 6.

    by April3rdLifeBegins on Mar 12, 2007 11:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Speaking of Beasts
    Did you know Boozer wears leather, assless chaps?

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:36 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Wow...I'm impressed.  That's quite a kid you've got there.  Well done.  
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 13, 2007 9:01 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    And he's only 11 years old.
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepchildren Matt and Russ. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 9:04 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Bravo on the pick. Cowart's the man. I am not related to him for the record.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 13, 2007 8:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Someone had to do it. My heart reaches down (and away) in the dirt for Pedro Feliz

    by fatalconceit on Mar 12, 2007 10:46 PM PDT reply actions  

    Heh. It's not just down and away
    Your heart will be lurching in every conceivable direction, as does Pedro's bat, Pobrecito.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 12:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Luckily your heart failed to make any kind of contact, because the last thing we needed right now was an ill-timed GIDP.
    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 13, 2007 12:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Hang on a second!  I adopted Pedro first!
    Because you can't replace production like 22 home runs. My adopted Giant: Pedro Feliz

    by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on Mar 14, 2007 7:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I call Ellison.

    You watch your mouths.

    If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. -George Orwell

    by StopBeingSoKate on Mar 12, 2007 10:58 PM PDT reply actions  

    Go Nate Go!
    I take Mr. Schierholtz.  Or as he's soon to be known, Nate the Great.    

    by orangeandblackattack on Mar 12, 2007 11:16 PM PDT reply actions  

    Tell that scrawny rule 5 draftee to watch out!
    Apparently that Velez squirt collided with my superstar today and the little guy suffered a contusion of the ribs and wrist and had to get shipped off to the hospital for X-rays.  

    When Nate says he's got it, get the bleep out of the way, girlie man.  Clear?  

    by orangeandblackattack on Mar 12, 2007 11:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    What about announcers? Can we make an ammendment? If so I want John Miller. . . .it was close between him and Dwaaanneee Kweepy. . . I mean, bad brodcasts? Screwing up stats? There's definitely some defense needed there. . . .

    by WilltheThrill on Mar 12, 2007 11:21 PM PDT reply actions  

    Beat me to it by moments...
    ...but no conflict anyway; if we can have broadcasters, I'll gladly adopt David B. Fleming.

    by giantnitpick on Mar 12, 2007 11:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Heh. I should maybe start by...
    ...spelling the poor kid's name right.
    [ahem] David B. Flemming.

    by giantnitpick on Mar 12, 2007 11:27 PM PDT reply actions  

    Whereas the spelling of Dwaaanneee Kweepy
    is exactly correct.
    Who could possibly need adoption more than someone known as Flemm?

    by giantnitpick on Mar 13, 2007 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I might have to change to Kweeepy, when in your own softball game, after subsequently hitting the bloody piss out of the ball, while rounding first, screaming out. . . . "He hits it high. . . .Hits it deeeeeep. . . its outta hear!" With my girlfriend shaking her head like "What a retard" and a bunch of Dodger fans pissed of (Living in LA blows).

    "And Bonds hits a long one!!! To Deeeeeep right field. . . this game is over!"

    God I need the season to start

    For WilltheThrill, this is John Miller saying goodnight. . . .

    by WilltheThrill on Mar 12, 2007 11:39 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Man, I really wanted Schierholtz! Being in a different time zone and working a weird schedule really fouls up my quality McCoven time. Can I go to court to contest orangeandblackattack's custody?
    Avoid the rush later - join the Waiting for Josh Vitters bandwagon now!

    by Lyle @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 13, 2007 8:26 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Can we interest you in other possible Fresno outfielders? Clay Timpner? Dan Ortmeier?
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 13, 2007 8:28 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Hey, my first thought was Burriss. No thanks on the other two OF, although Ortmeier would have been tempting this time last year. Or was that two years ago? I forget.
    Avoid the rush later - join the Waiting for Josh Vitters bandwagon now!

    by Lyle @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 13, 2007 8:38 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    When we got on this business of adopting guys it made me think of the slapfights that would ensue when two (or more) McCoven members picked the same guy. I pictured offering alternative players much like a wine list. "I'm sorry, we're fresh out of the 2006 Tim Lincecum but the 2004 Fred Lewis is quite good."
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 13, 2007 8:45 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    In that case, I'd like to see an '89 Kevin Mitchell. I understand it has good texture, weight, and balance from ripe, but not overripe, fruit harmonized with uplifting acidity.
    Avoid the rush later - join the Waiting for Josh Vitters bandwagon now!

    by Lyle @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 13, 2007 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Vintage years for Giants rookies
    '58 Cepeda
    '59 Marichal
    '59 McCovey
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepchildren Matt and Russ. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 1:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    If my court appeal fails, I'll adopt Sergio Romo.
    Avoid the rush later - join the Waiting for Josh Vitters bandwagon now!

    by Lyle @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 13, 2007 8:37 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    As his adoptive guardian can you keep him from punching things with his pitching hand? Thanks.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 13, 2007 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Since he'll be in San Jose this year, Baron, and I'm so much further away, could you check in on him from time to time for me? Just make sure he's washing behind his ears and keeping his room clean. Oh, and suggest he lead with his left.
    Avoid the rush later - join the Waiting for Josh Vitters bandwagon now!

    by Lyle @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 13, 2007 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    So I am baby-sitting Romo this summer as well as defending orangeandblackattack in the custody trial for Big Nate. I suppose I shouldn't make any plans.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 13, 2007 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I suppose we could always have a custody battle, see who is better able to be an advocate for Nate the Great.  Maybe at the end, Nate will step into the witness box and pick which one of us will be his MCC'er.  If it comes down to it, I'll take the Baron as my attorney.  

    by orangeandblackattack on Mar 13, 2007 12:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Well, I got to this party a little late
    so the pickins are slim, but I think I'll take special agent Jack Taschner.

    by Larson2042 on Mar 13, 2007 9:16 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Well, I got to this party a little late
    As witness last night to his attempt at mastery of minor league Oakland batters , I hereby submit my request that you take him far , far away.
    Yes , Scott...it IS loaded. Start running.

    by victor frankenstein on Mar 14, 2007 9:02 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Holy cow!  I wasn't expecting such enthusiasm on this idea.  Moggee's "Chulk eating his own placenta" line made me laughing and gagging at the same time.

    Congratulations to all of you on your new bundles of joy.

    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 13, 2007 10:20 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Yo Goof, can I adopt an older brother for little Julio, so he has someone to play batting practice with?

    (Nicky-P's blazing fastball should help my little man work on his sad little batting average)

    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 10:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Sorry Nicky, you go play somewhere else. Blame it on Goofus.
    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

    I'm adopting a pitcher
    To go with my 16 yr old utility infielder, if that's allowed (won't add to sig until confirmation of rules): Nick Pereira, shine my shoes!
    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 10:30 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: I'm adopting a pitcher
    Sticking with Julio. Any takers on Little Nicky?
    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I will take former uber-prospect and future closer Merkin Valdez. Tommy-John? Please.
    My VORP is higher than Merkin's VORP. But it won't be in 2008.

    by Poe on Mar 13, 2007 10:36 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Sounds like people are asking me for a ruling.  I say one player per poster and one poster per player.

    We need to leave players available for others.  I didn't see that anyone took Ishikawa or Misch yet...or maybe I missed it.

    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 13, 2007 10:47 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    You could always take Mishikawa.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 13, 2007 11:04 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    MartinFanaticObsessive or whatever he calls himself has had an Ishikawa hard-on ever since he saw a photo of him in shorts last year.

    by Todd Linden on Mar 13, 2007 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Who hasn't?
    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 13, 2007 11:29 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    In that case, I must emancipate brother hurler, Russ Ortiz. He's not as much of a bedwetter as his brother Matt.
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepson Matt. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 1:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: I will claim Russ Ortiz
    as a sovereign protectorate.

    What's that you say?  He's no longer continent-sized?  Cut out sugar from his diet?!?

    And the Dbacks are paying his salary?!?!

    That's a man I can get behind (and not have an obstructed view)

    So yeah, I'll adopt him since E has cast him off.

    by Hac Man on Mar 13, 2007 9:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I just moved into a new house, logged on, and discovered this great thread.

    Is there anyone left?

    by Gordo on Mar 13, 2007 11:30 AM PDT reply actions  

    Devil of a Problem
    Hairball has offered Little Nicky, but you'll need an Excorcist before he gets his release.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 11:45 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Devil of a Problem
    The Giants have offered "Big Papi," but he needs an exerciser before he gets his release.
    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Maybe I missed it but Pete Happy is still available.  Bochy and Sabes haven't been claimed either.  Now there's two guys who are really going to need an advocate during the year.  Other than that you're doing minors Gordo.  

    by orangeandblackattack on Mar 13, 2007 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    As my first act as adoptive papa to Lou Seal, I hereby disown him.

    by zenbitz on Mar 13, 2007 11:43 AM PDT reply actions  

    Realist
    A selfless act, in the fine and true tradition of American Fatherhood.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 11:48 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    crazy crab could use a parental figure.
    Kevin Frandsen

    by atleehammer and sickle on Mar 13, 2007 12:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Herpes is available
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepson Matt. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 1:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

    It gives generously to society
    Blind to race, creed, religion, or genital affiliation.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: It gives generously to society
    Yes. Priceless
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepson Matt. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 6:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Nah.
    Matt Herpes has left the building.
    Yes , Scott...it IS loaded. Start running.

    by victor frankenstein on Mar 14, 2007 9:04 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    May I suggest you not forward your address to CPS.
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepson Matt. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 1:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    That's one seal even environmentalists would like to see get a good clubbing!!
    closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

    by rxmeister on Mar 13, 2007 9:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Since I haven't said it already, this thread rocks! And may I add, my adopted son is very fast and at 16 (yeah, he's just a baby), he already knows how to walk! (check out his .OBP)
    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 13, 2007 2:19 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I call Lance Niekro since everyone else has been stolen cruelly.  

    by batteryhead on Mar 13, 2007 3:02 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Russ Ortiz is available. Please.
    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepson Matt. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 6:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Hmm ... I'd rather not.

    by batteryhead on Mar 14, 2007 8:25 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Its ok, I got 'im
    Go Russ Go

    by Hac Man on Mar 15, 2007 8:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Is Rikkert Faneyte still on the farm?
    This world you take to be 'the' world will die, and descend into Hell, and all history after that will belong properly to the history of Hell.

    by lunaticfridge on Mar 13, 2007 3:12 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Faneyte was last seen with the Pirates...the Amsterdam Pirates, that is. He retired from playing (for the second time) and became their pitching coach.
    You're nobody 'til everybody in
    this town thinks you're a bastard - Elvis Costello

    by EliminateMe on Mar 13, 2007 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Annoyed grunt! Pitching coach? He was an outfielder last time I remembered. Ok, how about Jason Da Bull? I'm all over that like flies on Schmidt!
    This world you take to be 'the' world will die, and descend into Hell, and all history after that will belong properly to the history of Hell.

    by lunaticfridge on Mar 14, 2007 9:33 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I dibs Osiris "the All-Father" Matos. Shouldn't be too much work since he's not likely to get too much hatin' on this season. And how can I pass up the name?

    But wait...if the All-Father is my adopted son...then I'm my own grandpa.

    You're nobody 'til everybody in
    this town thinks you're a bastard - Elvis Costello

    by EliminateMe on Mar 13, 2007 4:17 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Just wait until he takes over the coveted 6th inning slot in Bochy's bullpen.  Then he can "resurrect" some wins from Morris's 5-inning, 100 pitch outings.  Eh?  (Okay, that was awful, but Egyptian God jokes are tough)
    Adopted: Mark Sweeney

    by scotterduder on Mar 13, 2007 5:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

    ...here forever, MUTHERFUCKERS
    Osiris "of this Shit" Matos!
    This world you take to be 'the' world will die, and descend into Hell, and all history after that will belong properly to the history of Hell.

    by lunaticfridge on Mar 14, 2007 9:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Child Abuse
    Who will be the first?

    I predict me.

    Save The Pitchers. Save my stepson Matt. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 6:29 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I was going to hold off, save my waiver wire position and sign somebody who gets traded in at mid-season, but screw it.
    Saving countless runs with my defense

    by lyricalkiller on Mar 13, 2007 7:05 PM PDT reply actions  

    Er, to be clear...
    ...since it didn't make the adoption roster below: I'm adopting Brian Horwitz. Three cheers for the next Ferris Fain!
    Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz

    by lyricalkiller on Mar 14, 2007 5:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    thanks for handing Armando over to me. What's next? A discussion on terrorism where I'm forced to adopt Osama Bin Laden?? Oh, well. Another scoreless inning for my boy tonight. Hasn't been scored on yet. Let's keep him in the fifth inning, it seems to suit him. Can I adopt someone else if he gets traded to the Red Sox?? Why do they want him?? They have nobody that can wear David Wells' uniform from last year??
    closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

    by rxmeister on Mar 13, 2007 9:03 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Look at this way...if he gets traded, you can use his pants as a portable hangar for the Hindenburg
    Save Matt Morris. Save The Pitchers. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 13, 2007 9:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Same Tailor
    Now you know what they used to cover the Metrodome in Minnesota.

    by Moggeee on Mar 13, 2007 10:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    If Mando gets traded to the socks, you can adopt whatever we get in return.  Since CPS still frowns upon inter-racial adoptions, there might be a lot of red tape making that bag of sunflower seeds yours.
    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 14, 2007 5:42 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    The Sox are denying interest today, maybe the package Sabean asked for of Pabelbon and David Ortiz was too much. Today's interested team is the Mariners, looking for a setup man for JJ Putz. That would give them 2 Putz' back to back!! Sorry Armando, I'm supposed to have your back. Sabean, keep our star closer!!
    closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

    by rxmeister on Mar 14, 2007 6:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Provided I can read, and that's not all that certain considering since I live in AZ, I'll take Acosta mainly because he's the only person on the 40 man roster that I haven't seen listed. That and he's not named Armando.

    by Tajiri on Mar 14, 2007 12:51 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Maybe I should have gone with Sun-Woo Kim, wait he's not going to make the team either.

    by Tajiri on Mar 14, 2007 12:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Ditto. Sometimes a 1.55 WHIP is just... a 1.55 WHIP. Not even my Korean biased-ness can overcome that.

    So I'll take the Tyler Walker Award winner in the category of Least-Inspiring Return:

    Damian Moss

    It's a g'day mate.

    I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that builds stairs. http://sportsnomad.blogspot.com/

    by sam urai on Mar 14, 2007 1:15 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Woo - woo!
    Yes , Scott...it IS loaded. Start running.

    by victor frankenstein on Mar 14, 2007 9:07 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    If omar gets hurt, Thomas De La Rosa will fill that gap.

    by smirnoff on Mar 14, 2007 1:03 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Fat chance.  My boy Omar is indestructible.  He'll win the Gold Glove from a hospital bed if he must.  
    Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

    by PacBellBoozer on Mar 14, 2007 9:21 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: who?
    I forgot too.
    Steve Kline: He probably won't be terrible

    by groug on Mar 14, 2007 12:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    We need giantscatcher to update the master list. (hint hint)
    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 14, 2007 5:39 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Its your thread do it yourself.
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed. Giants Adoptee: Barry Zito

    by giantscatcher on Mar 14, 2007 10:44 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Wait, I'm bored. I'll do it.
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed. Giants Adoptee: Barry Zito

    by giantscatcher on Mar 14, 2007 10:47 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I knew you'd see things my way.

    I was about to offer you the title of "Assistant Thread Manager" and incentive, but didn't need to...ha!  Now I still have that arrow in my quiver for the next favor I need from you.

    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 14, 2007 11:04 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I think you mean "Assistant To the Thread Manager".
    Mark Sweeney: supplying Giants clubhouses since 2006.

    by scotterduder on Mar 14, 2007 12:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Late to the party again. I'm just going to preemptively adopt the first player the Giants take in June. Though hopefully that person won't need defending any more than the Enchanter does.

    by Evan on Mar 14, 2007 6:49 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I will adopt Marvin Benard. It's been about four years since he played, but the backlog of smack is lengthy enough that I will be defending him for the next 30 years.

    The greatest Giants game I ever saw in person was all thanks to Marvin. It was a Sunday night game against the Dodgers in July 2000. He hit a walk-off homer off of Mike Fetters in the deepest part of the yard. Pure pandemonium ensued.

    by Marvin B on Mar 14, 2007 8:54 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Ok, who on the 40-man is left?

    by pme on Mar 14, 2007 10:11 AM PDT reply actions  

    Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    Goofus ~ Klesko
    Rxmeister ~ Mando
    16th and Bryant ~ Correia
    Sharksrog ~ Lincecum
    Jponry ~ Cain
    PacBell Boozer ~ Vizquel
    Giantscatcher ~ Zito
    Antinous ~ Linden
    Natto ~ Durham
    TK ~ NotEdgardo
    Howtheyscored ~ Righetti
    Kid Fresh ~ Lowry
    Uribe nee Gonzalez ~ Lewis
    E ~ Morris
    Sfgreg ~ Wilson
    Wjackalope ~ Aurillia
    Bonds Apologist ~ Bonds
    Atleehammer ~ Frandsen
    Chulk ~ Chulk
    Aadik ~ Sanchez
    Scotterduder ~ Sweeney
    Big McLargeHue ~ Winn
    Baron ~ Eugenio Velez
    MeSoKrabby ~ Sadler
    Hometownboy ~ Roberts
    Stuttering John ~ Bochy
    Multiphasic ~ Walker
    Groug ~ Kline
    Mayor ~ Sabean
    BrotherBummer ~ Molina
    Mxmob33 ~ Threets
    AndYourBirdCanSing ~ Hennessey
    Lorrimer ~ Villalona
    Llamalimbo1 ~ Knoedler
    April3rdBeginsLife ~ Adam Cowart
    Fatalconceit ~ Feliz
    StopBeingSoKate ~ Ellison
    OrangeandBlackattack ~ Schierholtz
    DeadTeddy8 ~ Martinez-Esteve
    Giantnitpick ~ Flemming
    WilltheThrill ~ Kuiper
    Lyle ~ Sergio Romo
    Larson2042 ~ Taschner
    Poe ~ Merkin Valdez
    Zenbitz ~ Lou Seal
    Batteryhead ~ Niekro
    EliminateMe ~ Matos
    Tajiri ~ Kim
    Smirnoff ~ De La Rosa
    Marvin B ~ Marvin Bernard
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed. Giants Adoptee: Barry Zito

    by giantscatcher on Mar 14, 2007 10:46 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    You insult Izturis, you insult my family!
    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 14, 2007 11:06 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    Did I forget you again??
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed. Giants Adoptee: Barry Zito

    by giantscatcher on Mar 14, 2007 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    This prolly needs a mcwiki too. I would do it if I knew how. (maybe)
    Save Matt Morris. Save The Pitchers. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 14, 2007 12:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    Emmanuel Burriss is still my adoptive Giant.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 14, 2007 12:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    I made a mental note of it before but forgot to change it.
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed. Giants Adoptee: Barry Zito

    by giantscatcher on Mar 14, 2007 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    You spelled my name wrong. Both times.
    Randy Winn > Hurricanes

    by Punch Rockgroin on Mar 14, 2007 1:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    Yeah, but a Big Hue is kind of a neat concept.
    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 14, 2007 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    Like Hugh G. Rection?
    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 14, 2007 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Since I was bored enough........Updated List
    Well then do it yourself next time. :-)
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed. Giants Adoptee: Barry Zito

    by giantscatcher on Mar 14, 2007 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    When next year's annual McC awards roll around, we'll need a category: "Fastest growing thread in relation to how stupid the topic is."  This one has taking off like last year's grammar thread.

    I'm speechless.  I am without speech.

    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 14, 2007 11:07 AM PDT reply actions  

    Dammit, Goofus, the grammar thread was GREAT!
    Angels fly because they take Brian Sabean lightly.

    by Mayor of 311 on Mar 14, 2007 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Alright, I'll take Flannery.  Third base coach and producer of dulcet tones.

    by pme on Mar 14, 2007 11:18 AM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    His commentary last night was priceless. It's like he couldn't think without broadcasting it stream-of-consciousness style. I hope they do that with him again.
    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 14, 2007 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    He was totally instructive, insightful...and not a little inciteful also
    Save Matt Morris. Save The Pitchers. Save The World.

    by E Ticket on Mar 14, 2007 12:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Yeah, every time he said they had a hit and run on, Embree would throw to first.  Maybe he was talking a little too loudly.  

    I mean, it was all part of his cunning plan to lure the A's into a false sense of security when we GIDP.

    by pme on Mar 14, 2007 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I suppose I'll take Dan Ortmeier, as he and Misch seem to be the only 40-roster guys left.

    by rotorueter on Mar 14, 2007 12:55 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Dang it! Oatmealer is the real guy I had my eye on. ;_; But I was too busy with my "joke" answers.
    This world you take to be 'the' world will die, and descend into Hell, and all history after that will belong properly to the history of Hell.

    by lunaticfridge on Mar 14, 2007 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Am I allowed to take whoever we trade Armando for?

    by Naco on Mar 14, 2007 1:33 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Seems like we ought to set some rules to that effect.  

    At what time is a player technically on our team?  When the Giants put out a press release?  When it is confirmed by a major news source?

    Who dat is? That's just Ortmeier's daddy.

    by rotorueter on Mar 14, 2007 2:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'd suggest the guy who has Mando (Rxmeister) has right of first refusal on whoever comes back in trade, should that occur.
    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 14, 2007 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    That sounds very fair.
    Who dat is? That's just Ortmeier's daddy.

    by rotorueter on Mar 14, 2007 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I think that's a good rule, and should apply to any other trades that may occur during or before the season
    2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

    by wjackalope on Mar 14, 2007 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    sounds great to me. Any player that is acquired for Armando is bound to be popular enough to be elected Mayor in San Francisco. He's even allowed to sleep with his campaign manager's wife. The only player I will refuse though is Jeff Weaver. I just can't root for that guy!!
    closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

    by rxmeister on Mar 14, 2007 7:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Crap, I keep calling my boy 16 but he's closer to 18. I'm already exhibiting signs of being a bad father.

    Or maybe I'm just in denial about him reaching adulthood.

    Julio Izturis, who's your daddy?

    by hairball on Mar 14, 2007 3:15 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    OK, can I un-adopt Marvin Benard (that was meant to be a joke anyhow) and instead adopt Russ Ortiz? I went through the list and I think he's still available. I'm sure he will need plenty of apologizing this year.

    by Marvin B on Mar 14, 2007 4:04 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Mr. Ortiz will not be making any apologies for his upcoming season.  All apologies will be donated to charity.
    Go Russ Go

    by Hac Man on Mar 15, 2007 8:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    OK, I suck at this adopting thing. Looks like someone named Hac Man has Russ. Take good care of him Hac.

    Eagerly awaiting adoption papers for someone....

    by Marvin B on Mar 14, 2007 5:01 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    More than 24 hours after Goofus first pointed it out, Ishikawa and Misch are still available...
    You're nobody 'til everybody in
    this town thinks you're a Matos

    by EliminateMe on Mar 14, 2007 5:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Wait, what? I guess I can't read.

    The half Japanese in me has already dumped Kim, and is now claiming Ishikawa.

    Come on Acosta, or um wait, maybe it was Kim. Well in the end it really won't make much of a difference.

    by Tajiri on Mar 14, 2007 5:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    C'mon, people, this is adoption, not Netflix! What's up with folks dumping their adopted sons as soon as someone more appealing comes along?
    You're nobody 'til everybody in
    this town thinks you're a Matos

    by EliminateMe on Mar 14, 2007 5:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    there's nobody more appealing than Rich Aurilia
    2002? I'm over it. But I'll never be over Rich Aurilia.

    by wjackalope on Mar 14, 2007 7:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I just got NetFlix, actually. I'm still waiting to find out if it's a better deal than this.

    But I would never dump Rags for the next hot thing, no matter how buxom and ravenous. For shame, people. For shame.

    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 14, 2007 9:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Too bad someone beat you to Dave Roberts. You see the Giants trying to attract the Asian community by saying that Dave Roberts was born in Japan?? I didn't even know before last night that Dave's mom was Japanese.
    closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

    by rxmeister on Mar 14, 2007 7:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    If they really wanted to reach out to the Japanese community, they could at least attempt to you know, sign someone from Japan.

    by Tajiri on Mar 14, 2007 9:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    What a coincidence, I'm in Japan now. :)
    Adopting Dave Roberts since 2007

    by hometownboy on Mar 14, 2007 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    That's Penitentiary Face to you. :)
    Go Russ Go

    by Hac Man on Mar 15, 2007 8:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Cortes & Munter still available...
    Defender of Noah Lowry.

    by Kid Fresh on Mar 14, 2007 5:34 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Wassamatta , didn't the check clear?
    I got Munter.
    Well , got him on a .38 - enforced exercise program....he hasn't exactly agreed to the adoption.
      He's a little winded right now , he'll talk later.
    Yes , Scott...it IS loaded. Start running.

    by victor frankenstein on Mar 15, 2007 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant -- What do you think?
    Okay, So let's make this interesting...

    No adoption is finalized until confirmation (or at least acknowledgment) of the adoption is received from the Giant in question.

    Good Luck.

    With Barry back, what could go wrong?

    by Rusty the Mechanical Man on Mar 14, 2007 8:19 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant -- What do you think?
    Does Mrs. Goofus nursing Klesko to sleep last night then gently laying him down in his basinet count as acknowledgement de facto?

    She was hoping we'd adopt a player who's so young he hadn't cut teeth yet; guess I should have gone with Villalona.

    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 15, 2007 6:31 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant -- What do you think?
    Where are the pictures, man!?!
    My Adopted San Francisco Giant: Notgardo Alfonzo

    by tk on Mar 15, 2007 8:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant -- What do you think?
    Sort of glad I didn't adopt a Giant older than I...some kind of time paradox would disrupt my golden little world of being Burriss' guardian. I'd take just being his familiar or guardian angel or something.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 15, 2007 9:01 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant -- What do you think?
    *the time paradox would disrupt that if Burriss was older than I am. He's about three years younger. I shouldn't post on blogs this early in the morning.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 15, 2007 9:02 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Not to mention the courage
    Gotta say that adopting a minor leaguer OR one of the greats like Lincecum, Cain, Bonds, etc. ain't exactly the height of bravery. Nobody's going to pick on a minor leaguer, for heaven's sake. If your guy makes it to the show this year, we will all be rooting for him and wishing only great things.  The guys who deserve the respect are the ones who have signed on to defend Blownitez or Morris or Pedro Fail-ease. Or their g.m....
    Angels fly because they take Brian Sabean lightly.

    by Mayor of 311 on Mar 15, 2007 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Not to mention the courage
    Don't forget pitching coach! In terms of scapegoats, he was second tier last year right behind Felipe, Benitez, Morris, and Feliz.
    Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

    by howtheyscored on Mar 15, 2007 3:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Not to mention the courage
    I interviewed Burriss therefore I rule. And so does he.
    Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

    by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Mar 15, 2007 4:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Not to mention the courage
    I object to your referring to my closer as "Blownitez." Not one single blown save last year was his fault. He did his job. By the way, if Armando is traded and Jorge Julio is acquired in a separate deal to replace him, I request permission to adopt Jorge. He is as close to Armando as anyone can ever get!!
    closest thing Armando has to a fan and I'm not that wild about him either

    by rxmeister on Mar 15, 2007 6:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Damn... you might be onto something
    If I push the Blownitez thing too hard, then we have to acknowledge that it was foreseeable that he would suck at the time the contract was signed, and then that would necessarily lead to questions about the guy in charge of acquiring players and signing them to contracts... and I can't have that.  You just might be right.
    Angels fly because they take Brian Sabean lightly.

    by Mayor of 311 on Mar 15, 2007 9:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant -- What do you think?
    LouSeal is easy to find: louseal@sfgiants.com , so is BarryBonds.com
    With Barry back, what could go wrong?

    by Rusty the Mechanical Man on Mar 15, 2007 9:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant -- What do you think?
    Suggestion: If Lou is relunctant to nurse, rub a little dead macheral on your nipples.
    Biggest mankinder in the history of no brain. I adopted Klesko; guess that makes me his "padre".

    by Goofus on Mar 15, 2007 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant -- What do you think?
    That should be quite easy.
    Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed. Giants Adoptee: Barry Zito

    by giantscatcher on Mar 15, 2007 10:44 AM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Jajiri - did you take Ishikawa or are you staying with Kim?  Cos I'll take Ishikawa.

    by Naco on Mar 14, 2007 11:26 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'm going with Ishikawa, sorry.

    by Tajiri on Mar 14, 2007 11:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    OK, let's try this again. I will adopt Patrick Misch. Soon I'll think of something funny to say about him.
    Proud adoptive parent of Patrick Misch. Straight outta Northbrook, Ill.

    by Marvin B on Mar 15, 2007 12:17 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    I'll take Greg Papa.

    "Touchdown Rrrrrrrraiders!"

    Uh, I mean, I'll take F.P. Santangelo.

    by Grant Brisbee on Mar 15, 2007 1:35 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Oh, quit fucking around and just take yourself.  You know you wanna.
    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 15, 2007 10:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

    On second thought...
    ...taking yourself is more or less the definition of fucking around, isn't it?
    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 15, 2007 10:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Re: On second thought...
    It would be pointless to take myself because I would never need defending. My genius is just that obvious.

    by Grant Brisbee on Mar 16, 2007 5:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

    Hell, who's left?
    I guess I will take Renel, she of KMEL fame.  

    Waiting a long time to adopt a Giant:  Stupid

    Having to adopt an announcer:  Bleh

    Defending someone bland and inconsequential for only 81 games/year:  Priceless

    If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't f*ck with 'em

    by the degenerate on Mar 15, 2007 3:02 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Brandon Jacobs?  Andre?  The 50-ft. Woman?  Hal Lanier?  
    "Mow bwiefings?" "More briefings."

    by stobgopper on Mar 15, 2007 3:27 PM PDT reply actions  

    Would have earlier...
    ...but CRS blocked his name.
    Can we adopt TWO?
    Because I've been wanting to talk to this guy for a while...

    ...Peter Magowan!

    What , I can't have two? Fine.
    Scott , you're a free man.
    You're still a fat man , but after running for three days you're no longer THE fat man - which was my goal.
    Now eat right , and throw well.
    Peter...sir...get going!

    Yes , Scott...it IS loaded. Start running.

    by victor frankenstein on Mar 15, 2007 3:31 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    Can we get an updated list?
    Randy Winn > Hurricanes

    by Punch Rockgroin on Mar 15, 2007 3:45 PM PDT reply actions  

    Updated list
    Man, there's no way I'd even think of doing this if I didn't have a term paper due in 18 hours.

    Anyone who claims a player in a threaded reply should be shot.  That's not my thesis, alas.

    Player - poster
    ____________________
    Benitez - rxmeister
    Klesko - goofus
    Correia - 16th & bryant
    Lincecum - sharksrog
    Izturis - hairball
    Cain - jponry
    Vizquel - pacbellboozer
    Zito - giantscatcher
    Linden - antinous
    Durham - natto
    Alfonzo - tk
    Burriss - baronvoncurrentevents
    Righetti - howtheyscored
    Lowry - kid fresh
    Lewis - uribe nee gonzalez
    Morri - e
    Wilson - sfgreg
    Aurilia - wjackalope
    Frandsen - atleehammer and sickle
    Bonds - bondsapologist
    Chulk - chulk
    Feliz - sloislonelyfortheorange
    Sanchez - aadik
    Sweeney - scotterduder
    Winn - big mclargehuge
    Sadler - mesokrabby
    Roberts - hometownboy
    Bochy - stuttering john tamargo
    Walker - multiphasic
    Molina - brother bummer
    Kline - groug
    Sabean - mayor of 311
    Threets - mxmob33
    Hennessey - andyourbirdcansing
    Villalona - lorrimer
    Knoedler - llamalimbo1
    Cowart - april3rdlifebegins
    Ellison - stopbeingsokate
    Schierholtz - orangeandblackattack
    Martinez-Esteve - deadteddy8
    Miller - willthethrill
    Flemming - giantnitpick
    Romo - lyle
    Taschner - larson2042
    Valdez - poe
    Ortiz - hac man
    Seal - zenbitz
    Niekro - batteryhead
    Matos - elminateme
    Horwitz - lyricalkiller
    de la Rosa - smirnoff
    Ishikawa - tajiri
    Flannery - pme
    Ortmeier - rotorueter
    Misch - marvin b
    Santangelo - grant
    Brooks-Moon - the degenerate
    Magowan - victor frankenstein

    "When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

    by multiphasic on Mar 15, 2007 10:44 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    So in my mind I'm fighting the snarky pick (Steve Decker) with an actual player (Mike McBryde).

    I'm going to go with the one not old enough to be my father. Or at least a disturbing uncle.

    When it's time for a change...

    by squirrel on Mar 15, 2007 11:17 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    can i get brain anderson...i mean, with our bullpen maybe he gets a call up.
    Glenallen hill hates spiders

    by fugazism on Mar 15, 2007 11:34 PM PDT reply actions  

    Re: Adopt A Giant
    well, how bout brian anderson...mmmm, brains.
    brain anderson, high a ball is where its at.

    by fugazism on Mar 15, 2007 11:37 PM PDT reply actions  

    Such a good kid
    My first proud moment. Last night, little Patrick picked up his first win this spring. Only one inning on the mound, but a W in print forever.

    Way to go kiddo!!

    Proud adoptive parent of Patrick Misch. Straight outta Northbrook, Ill.

    by Marvin B on Mar 16, 2007 10:06 AM PDT reply actions  

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