This is the worst possible NLCS permutation. If the Dodgers and Diamondbacks were playing, there wouldn't be a problem. I'd be the world's biggest Diamondbacks fan for about a week, drink until I forgot that I rooted for the Diamondbacks, and then resume my life.

But the Rockies and Diamondbacks? Yeeeeesh. There's just no way to comfortably root for either of those teams.

The McCovey Chronicles Guide to Picking Sides in the 2007 NLCS

• The Diamondbacks can't sell out Chase Field. This article contains one of the greatest idiot quotes ever:
  If the D-Backs make it to the World Series again, that will be the first time fan Greg Gillman buys a playoff ticket this year. The former season-ticket holder is taking a wait-and-see approach. "When you're talking about investing your money, they didn't really go out and make an investment with this team," Gillman said.
  Awesome. Hey, Greg, the Giants invested in their team. Want to trade? I know this jackass isn't indicative of every Diamondbacks fan, but that's still the stupidest fan-quote in recent memory. "How dare they have success without spending money! So I'm not going to the NLCS. Yawn."

  Advantage: Rockies

• Since the Rockies came into the league, they've done nothing but torment the Giants. And watching games in pre-humidor Coors was torture - sheer torture. Even at the height of the Coors offensive explosion, the grounds crew would cut the grass short so more ground balls would get through. It was arena baseball, and it sucked away over a hundred hours of my life. I could have used that time to do charity work for sick children. Why do the Colorado Rockies hate sick children?

  Now that they have the humidor, the games are much more watchable. But it's hard to really trust them. Shenanigans might a been transpirin' this whole time.

  Advantage: Diamondbacks

• The Diamondbacks have already won a World Series. They don't deserve two.

  Advantage: Rockies

• If Miami, Phoenix, and Denver all get to have a World Series parade before San Francisco gets to have one, I will punch the next nun I see.

  Advantage: Diamondbacks

• Randy Johnson is still on the Diamondbacks' roster. It doesn't matter that he's injured: a cheer for the Diamondbacks is a cheer for Randy Johnson.

  Matt Herges is on the Rockies. Somehow, Herges made it into the Reliever Who Completely Disintegrated When We Needed Him to Produce, but We Still Like Him Anyways Club. It's a good club. You get 10% off at Kragen Auto Parts for the rest of your life.

  Advantage: Rockies

• Yorvit Torrealba is on the Rockies. I don't really have a problem with Yorvit - I kind of like the guy, actually - but if he had hit 10 more home runs in 2003, the Giants would have let him start in 2004. The Giants wouldn't have traded A.J. Pierzynski. Joe Nathan would have led the team in saves in 2004, and the Giants would have won 105 games. Francisco Liriano would still be in the organization. Mike Matheny wouldn't have been signed, and the money saved would have been applied to Troy Glaus. Pedro Feliz would have eventually signed with the Dodgers. Bill Mueller would have signed with a different team. The Dodgers wouldn't have sunk their hell-blue talons into Mueller's now-black heart, and he wouldn't be in the Dodgers' front office.

  It's all Yorvit's fault for not hitting like a demi-god in 2003. Why does Yorvit hate us?

  Advantage: Not the Giants

Comment starter: Are you picking sides?