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If the season started May 1st....

Thoughts from the first 15 games of the year:

  • It would be irresponsible to write that Pedro Feliz has turned the corner on his career, so I'll just write this: Pedro Feliz has turned the corner on his career. He's hitting everything solid, catching up with the high fastballs, and doing a better job laying off the unhittable breaking stuff. Feliz isn't going to continue to hit .367/.377/.700, but it would be a huge asset if he were to hit like a league average third baseman. I'm optimistic.
  • We just might be witnessing the last gasp of Omar Vizquel's bat. He's hitting .173/.241/.269, and while he can still pick it in the field, the Giants can't afford to have such a weak bat at the top of the batting order. He still has a year left on his contract, though, so it would be hard to just release him. Besides, the Giants have absolutely no one worth trying in his place at short, unless you want to force Kevin Frandsen to learn the position in the majors.
  • The fallback comparison for a player who hits with zero average or power, but draws an insane amount of walks, is always F.P. Santangelo. Usually, however, there's a modifier with the comparison. Such as, "Joe Shlabotnik hits like F.P. Santangelo with power", or something of the sort. That's not needed for Barry Bonds right now. Bonds is hitting like F.P. Santangelo toward the end of Santangelo's career. A big difference, however, is that Santangelo didn't run or field as if he were trying to make love to a table saw. I'm not sure what that means, but Bonds has been awful to start the season. A non-productive Bonds would be an incredible turn of bad luck for the Giants.
  • Jamey Wright is still not a good pitcher. I told you so.
  • With Kevin Correia and Jeremy Accardo pitching so well, it shouldn't be long until one of them takes over a setup spot. What are the alternatives? Each one of them alternating turns in blowouts, while relievers having awful seasons are brought in the close situations? Yeah, right. I'd like to see that happen.
It's still early in the season, but I can't imagine any of the opinions above changing over time. Not a one.

0 recs  |  Comment 44 comments

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Re: If the season started May 1st....
Grant, you need to get away from that man and into a more supportive environment. "Come on back, baby," he whispers, "I'll lay off the slider, I promise. I'll be good, baby."

Then, wham. You're crying in the middle of the night, feeling empty and lost inside. The cycle must be broken.

Me gustan tomar mis copas / Aguardiente es lo mejor / También la tequila blanca / Con su sal le da sabor

by leftymalo on May 16, 2006 10:35 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
I don't watch the Lifetime Channel, but if I did, that sounds like a movie of the week plot line one might find there.  It was way too easy for me to visualize that, and I cringed a little.  

by out machine on May 16, 2006 10:38 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Has...
there ever been a female villian on the lifetime channel?  Every "lifetime original picture" ad I have seen details the harrowing tale of a beautiful 45 year woman and her angelic 15 year old daughter overcoming the cruel depradations of some abusive dude (who is such an asshole, it defies credibility that he survived to his current age).  

I imagine their writing sessions consist of something like this:

Lifetime Producer: So Susan Sarandon signed on to do a movie with us...

Writer 1: Awesome! I have an idea.  We'll cast her as a newly single mother who must face the realities of returning to work, the difficulties of raising a teenage daughter and the awkwardness of the dating scene.

Writer 2: Hmmmmmmm... Something seems to be missing.  I know!  We'll have her husband abandon her to elope with a younger woman.

Writer 1: Let's also have her meet a charming stranger who turns out to be a homocidal maniac.

Producer: I love it!  That's a wrap

You look like I need a drink

by kenshin1 on May 16, 2006 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Has...
Well, there was the Tori Spelling classic "What Kind of Mother are You?" that might have had a female villain.  I'm not sure, but it seems like that might have been the sequel to the other Tori classic "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?" That's probably the movie Out Machine was referring to, since it does sound a lot like being a Giants fan.

by Roger on May 16, 2006 11:10 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: Has...
The network's target demographic is... wait for it... WOMEN. Housewives, specifcally, that have no drama or minimal conflict in their lives and would rather television create it, in spades.

by Brother Bummer on May 16, 2006 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I know...
it just annoys me slightly that female targeted television must vilify men and male targeted television must be idiotic (and objectify women)
You look like I need a drink

by kenshin1 on May 16, 2006 11:24 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

And this annoys you how?
I mean come on, was watching Spike the other day and saw this Klingong chick hitting on Captian Kirk!
Jason Ellison's numbers through 38 team games: 38 G 0 GS 13 AB

by WalrusMan on May 16, 2006 12:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: I know...
I agree, it would be so much hotter if the female targeted television objectified woman.

by mxmob33 on May 16, 2006 12:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: I know...
have you noticed that in commercials geared towards housewives, like soap products or lean pockets, the guys in the commercials are always schmucks? as if we saw a vacuum and our only thought was to break it over a rock and throw it in the air, 2001-style. i want to see a swiffer commercial where a man doesn't act all clown-shoes and actually does something competent.

not that i've given this much thought...

Dodgers fans eat their young.

by redhornet78 on May 16, 2006 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: I know...
I think men are easy targets because we just don't really give a shit.
"I see two Kirk Rueters." 7/31/04 vs. St. Louis Cardinals

by WithTechron on May 16, 2006 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
I'm sure I have no idea what that meant.

by Grant on May 16, 2006 11:01 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: at least your confidant about it....
For some reason, I read the word "slider", and automatically thought he was talking about a pitcher. Now I get it. And I don't need much prodding to quit Feliz. When I wake up at the Super 8, I'll have a good idea of what's laying next to me.

by Grant on May 16, 2006 11:11 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
Wow. Our bullpen really sucks.

(The above sentence could also have been plugged into a post headed "If the season started on time..." Or, for that matter, any post in the last two-plus years.)

by Kitspool on May 16, 2006 11:14 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Great bit, Grant
There's also Matheny's .375/.373/.521.

Pull it together, Morris and Worrell. Today is the first day of the rest of your "if the season started May 16th."

"Robb Nen is going to get you" - Benito Santiago to Chipper Jones, 10/7/02

by Pants Man on May 16, 2006 11:15 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
I can't believe you left out Schmitty's blazing start to the season - 2 CGs and a 1.08 ERA!

Sweeney, meanwhile, has been every bit the dented can that his "four-times-a-Padre" career stats suggest, at a woeful .194/.235/.387 .

And, hey, anyone know what happened to Tyler Walker? I thought he was supposed to be on the opening day roster.

(Sure is handy that the Giants post stats by month on their website, huh?)

"Look at that: I didn't even know I had a dime in the shoe." - F.Alou

by EliminateMe on May 16, 2006 11:39 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
They traded him to the Devil Rays for a bag of socks.  Ouch.
Listen to the broadcast on KSFO.

by Shane on May 16, 2006 12:33 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
The fact that Hines has given up only 12 homers in 365 professional innings is pretty impressive. That's supposed to be Munter's hook, but Hines is a few months younger than Munter and has him beat in terms of HR/IP, BB/IP, H/IP, and K/IP over his minor league career.

We'll probably see him with the big club before the season is over... at which point he just might reveal himself to be no more than a bag of socks.

"Robb Nen is going to get you" - Benito Santiago to Chipper Jones, 10/7/02

by Pants Man on May 16, 2006 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
Better than a bag of underwear named Carlos Hanes.
Me gustan tomar mis copas / Aguardiente es lo mejor / También la tequila blanca / Con su sal le da sabor

by leftymalo on May 16, 2006 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
Actually I knew that...see, I was going with the 'if the season started May 1st' theme...in which case, you know, Walker would have been gone from the roster without bombing spectacularly in April...get it?

I hear all the best comedians have to explain their jokes. Am I right, Kenshin?

"Look at that: I didn't even know I had a dime in the shoe." - F.Alou

by EliminateMe on May 16, 2006 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

absolutely
the mark of true genius is that noone gets you
You look like I need a drink

by kenshin1 on May 16, 2006 1:39 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Being that I'm no ne
...I got it.
In medical school, proctologists finish at the bottom of their class.

by Goofus on May 16, 2006 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

troublemaker.
"Look at that: I didn't even know I had a dime in the shoe." - F.Alou

by EliminateMe on May 16, 2006 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Just because you're a doctor....
Doesn't mean you get to make up new definitions to words. ;-)
Jason Ellison's numbers through 38 team games: 38 G 0 GS 13 AB

by WalrusMan on May 16, 2006 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

not a doctor...
You look like I need a drink

by kenshin1 on May 16, 2006 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

but I did...
stay in a holiday inn express last night
You look like I need a drink

by kenshin1 on May 16, 2006 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
I dont know if you heard John Kruk on Baseball Tonight on the Giants Highlights yesterday , he said that Pedro Feliz as become a very dangerous hitter for the Giants, i laughed so hard, if this is the buzz around the league, we have to traded him NOW!!!
1954-200?

by knowitall55 on May 16, 2006 1:42 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
Obviously Felipe Alou and John Kruk are on the same level.
"I see two Kirk Rueters." 7/31/04 vs. St. Louis Cardinals

by WithTechron on May 16, 2006 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
Dangerous to other teams?
club ph34r - comics! rally hippo - crappier comics!

by Natto on May 16, 2006 1:52 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
Trade him? Are you kidding? Any day now Sabean is going to sign him to a 2-year, $14 M contract extension. After all, he's now providing a proven bat and veteran presence.
Me gustan tomar mis copas / Aguardiente es lo mejor / También la tequila blanca / Con su sal le da sabor

by leftymalo on May 16, 2006 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
It's funny because it's true.

Oh no wait. Not funny. What's that other word?

"Look at that: I didn't even know I had a dime in the shoe." - F.Alou

by EliminateMe on May 16, 2006 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
Excruciating?
In medical school, proctologists finish at the bottom of their class.

by Goofus on May 16, 2006 3:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
2 for 14?! They should call you El Lefty Loco! I'm thinking more along the lines of 6 years for $48 million. We gotta lock this guy up before some sharp GM like Jim Bowden starts kicking his tires.
"Although the Giants rank 16th in the National League with a 5.17 ERA, Matheny doesn't think the pitching staff has performed that poorly." -- Rich Draper

by Brian Sabean on May 16, 2006 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
And after that, sign John Kruk for hitting coach
"I see two Kirk Rueters." 7/31/04 vs. St. Louis Cardinals

by WithTechron on May 16, 2006 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
You're talking about Kruk, right?

by elduderino on May 16, 2006 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: If the season started May 1st....
Did you talk bad about Omar?  I'm gonna get you after school. He sat by me in the lunchroom today!

I think the problem is not that something is wrong with his bat, but rather the 1B should not have to bat 8th, and that the LF who can't run, catch, throw, or speak in the dugout now also can't hit.  Oh yeah, and Omar isn't likely to hit too many 8-run homers to make up for the AT&T Park Bocce Ball Bullpen squad.

He won't bat .100 all year, but he will still run, field, and play good baseball, which is nice to be able to say about a Giant.

BB

by BlackDougal on May 16, 2006 4:04 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'd truthfully like to see Omar hitting 7th or 8th
But I can't figure out how else to fill the #2 hole really.  Only thing I can come up with is....
  1. Winn
  2. Durham
  3. Niekro
  4. Bonds
  5. Alou
  6. Feliz
  7. Matheny
  8. Vizquel
  9. Pitcher
Which I don't really think is all that bad of a lineup.  Vizquel takes over in the 8th spot, and since he used to be our leadoff hitter, he can get on base to get the pitcher up a lot of innings if he's got 2 outs on him already.  Matheny shouldn't be hitting 7th really either, but I think that he'll get more big hits than Vizquel.
Jason Ellison's numbers through 38 team games: 38 G 0 GS 13 AB

by WalrusMan on May 16, 2006 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: I'd truthfully like to see Omar hitting 7th or
It's nice to have someone who can run in the 8th spot, methinks, as he could theoretically get on, steal, and be bunted over to third.  It could even be worth having Matheeknee ground out to end a few innings, as opposed to having the pitchers try to bunt him to second where he can't score anyway without a nuclear explosion.

BB

by BlackDougal on May 17, 2006 9:17 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

4:59......
Good God....Vizcaino starting at first.....
Jason Ellison's numbers through 38 team games: 38 G 0 GS 13 AB

by WalrusMan on May 16, 2006 4:59 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Re: 4:59......
I know... we've got plenty of 0-for-4s out of first base this year, so it shouldn't matter too much, but something about seeing

8 1B Vizcaino, J.

...in a lineup is just demoralizing.

"Robb Nen is going to get you" - Benito Santiago to Chipper Jones, 10/7/02

by Pants Man on May 16, 2006 5:03 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Re: 4:59......
Which is worse:

The fact that Vizcaino is your starting 1B, or that his OBP is higher than Neikro's.

by zenbitz on May 17, 2006 12:30 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

During the break
Tool Astros Announcer #1: "Gee...  maybe we'll have to root for Barry just to get some drama."
Tool Astros Announcer #2: "I'll never do that."
Worth the price of mlb.tv to get the witty off-camera banter.

by plnublimp on May 16, 2006 5:25 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

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