Special Agent Jack Taschner

by Grant Brisbee on Mar 10, 2006 1:29 PM PST in News

Quick notes and a projection:

Everyone seems to think spring stats are useless, especially only eight games into the exhibition season, but I disagree. The lines being put up by Lance Niekro (.375/.500/.625), Todd Linden (.389/.520/.500), and Mike Matheny (.500/.600/.750) don't seem like flukes to me, and all three hitters should carry their gains over into the regular season.
Everyone knows spring stats are useless, so there really isn't any sense in getting worked up over the bad performances so far. The lines being put up by Matt Morris (9.00 ERA), Noah Lowry (7.71 ERA), and Tyler Walker (27.00 ERA) seem like flukes to me, and all three pitchers should be able to right the ship before the regular season.
Elizer Alfonzo needs to work on a new first name if he wants any semblance of a future with this club. When I read box scores, I see "E. Alfonzo" listed in the Giants lineup. That keeps me on my toes in the spring, but could give me an ulcer if it were to continue throughout the year. My suggestion: Johnnybench, all one word. Are you telling me you're not going to take Johnnybench Alfonzo as your backup catcher? That might even get him a starting nod over Matheny.
With all of the furor over Barry Bonds, it's interesting to note that not one media outlet has picked up on this: A picture of another MLB player injecting himself in the butt with steroids, as several lingerie-clad models stand around to watch. Amazing.
Jack Taschner will have to pitch his way out of the Giants plans this spring, which is something I was unaware of when I projected Jeremy Accardo. In retrospect, I gave far, far too many innings to Accardo. My other theory of Scott Munter needing time to mend also seems far off.
Taschner has been with the organization for a loooooong time, and it was a pretty big surprise for him to emerge last year. When projecting him, I'll stick fairly close to Bill James' "Plexiglas principle", which contends "all things in baseball have a powerful tendency to return to the form which they previously held." Meaning, if a guy comes out of nowhere, he's likely to find himself right back in nowhere the next season. That's a fair rule of thumb, but Taschner was good against lefties, great against righties, and looked like a pitcher who had nothing left to prove in AAA. I could easily see him coming close to what Scott Eyre did for us last year. Splitting the difference:
Jack Taschner
IP: 45
ERA: 3.78
K: 40
BB: 21

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Comments

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

Grant,
I think you just painted a rosey picture to get in good with Taschner's mom.

My girlfriend drafted me because I did well on the the wonderlick test

by Goofus on Mar 10, 2006 1:43 PM PST reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

I would love to see her post some comment as "Jack Taschner's Mom".

I would also like to see Eliezer change his last name. I kind of like having an Eliezer on the team, but the last name makes me kind of angry, and for some reason slightly hungry.

by out machine on Mar 10, 2006 2:04 PM PST up reply actions

Anyone up for a chimichanga?

Hmm....I didn't know that.

by WalrusMan on Mar 10, 2006 2:07 PM PST up reply actions

Have you shown MLB that picture?

That's at least strong corroborating evidence there.

Noting an E. Alfonzo thing, Anyone catch that he was 3-4 with a home run and a double in his first WBC game? ::sigh::

Hmm....I didn't know that.

by WalrusMan on Mar 10, 2006 2:06 PM PST reply actions

Re: Have you shown MLB that picture?

He's always good in March.

"I been waitin' a long time for this! I been waitin' since the f***ing amateurs!" --WILL "THE THRILL" CLARK

by Josh from Hollywood on Mar 10, 2006 2:31 PM PST up reply actions

First ones here....first ones here!

Who needs projections? The mailman just delivered my Official McCovey Chronicles t-shirt!

Grant, we've had suggestions for different quotes, colors, names, etc. on the next round of shirts...can you do one that's suitable for the office? You know, something dignified, a collared affair with the angel-wings line neatly displayed on the breast pocket...so as not to get obscured by a necktie?

by biff pocoroba on Mar 10, 2006 4:09 PM PST reply actions

Ooooooh! Snaaa-aaaap!

What's done is done, Biff, but I would have just given one of my proofs to you. I feel weird taking money from you for a shirt when I plan on taking your money in a fantasy league. Again.

by Grant Brisbee on Mar 10, 2006 4:57 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Ooooooh! Snaaa-aaaap!

How was I to know the Morgan Ensbergs and Jake Peavies of your Lucky 7 Fight would outperform the Freddy Sanchezes and and Tomo Okhas of my Spongebob Hotpants?

Besides, this year I have a new strategy...no crappy players. That's it, I'm finished with 'em.

by biff pocoroba on Mar 10, 2006 5:43 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

Ah Mr Taschner. The last of my three headed monster last two slots in the bullpen along with Accardo and Munter. Like Accardo and Munter I see another brought in to face one batter specialist.

I see 50 appearances but only 35 innings. I see 40 Hits, 27 StrikeOuts, and 10 Walks resulting in a 1.43 WHIP and a 3.86 ERA. I see 10 Holds and 1 BlownSave (Hold).

by giantsrainman on Mar 10, 2006 5:11 PM PST reply actions

Speaking of spring stats...

...I'm confident that Derin McMains' 1.714 slugging average will hold up over a full season if the Giants would just give him a chance.

by EliminateMe on Mar 10, 2006 5:14 PM PST reply actions

Yeah, Grant

So when do we get to do our Derin McMains group projections?

by Lyle @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 10, 2006 6:48 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Speaking of spring stats...

Two words: Randy Elliot

by seyheystretch on Mar 12, 2006 3:51 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Speaking of spring stats...

Or maybe Randy Kutcher?

by Lyle @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 14, 2006 6:46 AM PST up reply actions

I'm not sure Jumpin' Jack Tasch HAS a mean

Between recovering from injuries and bouncing around the minors, I don't know if Jack actually has a mean to regress to. I will say his ERA was not backed up by his K/IP, but it's not like he's been plugging away in the majors forever.

And unless he chokes, it's a screaming waste to use him as a LOOGY. I'll leap into the abyss and give him...

IP: 70
K: 65
ERA: 2.90
WHIP: 1.20
MMMTP: 74

MMMTP is a board-isolated metric measuring Marry Me Momma Taschner Proposals.

"When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Gary Busey..."

by multiphasic on Mar 10, 2006 7:46 PM PST reply actions

True

Taschner was actually one of our brightest prospects about 5 years ago. He was lights out in San Jose, if I recall correctly. He spent the entire time from then until last year either on the DL or rehabbing. I think there is a chance, albeit small, that he could get better than he was last year.

by DrBGiantsfan on Mar 10, 2006 8:12 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

grant i like your thinking that spring stats don't matter when important pitchers' ERAs are higher than Vince Young's wonderlic scores.

http://zachls.blogspot.com

by zachls on Mar 11, 2006 1:19 AM PST reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

Here's how I see Special Agent Taschner's numbers:
Special IP: 40
Special ERA: 3.43
Special K (I was waiting for this one): 31
Special BB: 19

Jack will be dependable all year for us, allowing us to survive after Steve Kline, frustrated by Felipe's non-communication with him, punches out a wall in August and breaks his pitching hand. Jack will get into 2 games in the NLDS, and 2 games in the NLCS, with a total of 3.2 IP, 5 K, 2 BB.

Jack's mom will begin posting on McCovey Chronicles in May, and by August will be selling Special Agent Jack Taschner t-shirts online.

by Lyle @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 11, 2006 12:22 PM PST reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

Given his minor league numbers Taschner probably won't regress to the mean. His pro-ball averages are mediocre, but his season stats are all either terrific (like last year) or mind-numbingly awful (his stint at Fresno the year before). Given that, Taschner will either be a great reliever, snatching the top-lefty slot away from Steve Kline by June, or stink up the joint and get sent back to AAA just as quickly. He won't be mediocre, but given the unpredictability of his good/bad seasons and his high walk rate, I just don't know what else to project. So, here's a dual prediction, Good Jack and Bad Jack:

GOOD JACK
IP: 65
ERA: 1.90
K: 68
BB: 26
W-L: 4-0

BAD JACK
IP: 33
ERA: 7.49
K: 23
BB: 19
W-L: 1-4

And just for the hell of it, the mediocre projection that could only emerge if the good/bad dichotomy was just a result of jumping minor leagues, and now that he's in the minors he'll pitch like somebody normal (which I don't see happening):

UGLY JACK (maybe not ugly, but come on, it works)
IP: 52
ERA: 4.14
K: 46
BB: 26
W-L: 3-2

By all standards that looks like a perfectly reasonable projection. That's exactly why I don't expect anything like it from him.

"Baseball is life, the rest is just details."

by nick @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 11, 2006 1:59 PM PST reply actions

And another T-shirt request...

If Jack's still in the majors come August, can the next batch of MC shirts have "Hi, Jack Taschner's mom!" on 'em? I'm picturing Jack being as good as rumored, and therefore being creeped out by the massive sea of people at Pac Bell saluting Mrs. T...

"When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Gary Busey..."

by multiphasic on Mar 11, 2006 11:47 PM PST reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

Lance Niekro will consolidate his gains like Tony Torcato in 2005

by gdog @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 12, 2006 9:18 AM PST reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

True, spring stats are meaningless for veteran players.
But they're important for young players like Niekro because the kids need to develop confidence while they get experience, and when they do those two things, results in meaningful games can improve dramatically.
Players with both talent and intelligence can and do sometimes make adjustments.
Of course, that statement is going to be seen as naive here, becauses humanity has nothing to do with outcome in baseball, right? It's all a simple mathematical progression, right? Psychology, confidence and maturity mean nothing, right?
Right.
Soon, every manager and front office person going in the Hall of Fame will have been a math major in college. They won't even need to know anything about baseball, just have to be able to read a speadsheet.
Right?
Riiiight.

by TitoFinito on Mar 12, 2006 9:25 AM PST reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

I don't think there's any evidence that a good spring means anything for anyone, any more than a big September call-up means anything. Small sample sizes are small samples sizes, and they're even less valuable predictors than a cup of coffee in the majors because the pitching isn't quite at the real major league level (either because it's AAA pitchers or because the major-leaguers aren't at game strength until the end of spring training.)

by gdog @ McCovey Chronicles on Mar 12, 2006 6:40 PM PST up reply actions

Re: Special Agent Jack Taschner

If he keeps the walks down I definitely think we have something here, but if Felipe wouldn't let Eyre pitch entire meaningful innings very often, I don't expect him to let Taschner pitch them.

IP: 38
ERA: 3.83
K: 32
BB: 20

"Robb Nen is going to get you" - Benito Santiago to Chipper Jones, 10/7/02

by Pants Man on Mar 13, 2006 11:29 AM PST reply actions