URLgenio Velez

URLgenio Velez, Crazy Bonds Stats Edition!

If you look hard enough, you can find a statistic that illustrates how good Barry Bonds was. It's difficult, though.

URLgenio Velez, #Pray4GoodPosey Edition!

37

It may be difficult, but please, try to make Buster Posey better through encouragement and focusing really hard on the mental image of him getting a hit.

URLgenio Velez, Mike Krukow is Great Edition

492

Mike Krukow is great.

URLgenio Velez, Possible Bonds Statue Edition

277

Now that I've gotten your hopes up, there is almost no chance that there will be a Bonds statue coming soon. Sorry!

URLgenio Velez, AAA Hangers-On Edition!

72

No, they are hangers-on, not on hangers. You cannot hang Andres Torres up in a closet. Fontenot, maybe.

URLgenio Velez, Magic Buehrle Edition

421

How many goats did you sacrifice for this otherworldly power, Mark? HOW MANY?

URLgenio Velez, Zobrist Enthusiam Edition

866

Zobristmania has cooled, but it's still simmering on one of those burners we forgot about.

URLgenio Velez, Trout MVP Edition

590

Pretty shocked Miguel Cabrera didn't win it instead, to be honest.

URLgenio Velez, Dinger Derby 'Dition!

408

If Cespedes got some headwear for winning, would it have been a Home Run Derby Hat?

URLgenio Velez, Belt Jealousy Edition!

926

Brandon Belt is jealous of Madison Bumgarner's grand slam prowess, but Bumgarner is probably jealous of how good Belt is at reviewing movies. It all works out.

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URLgenio Velez, Stupid Sexy Fielder Edition

236

DO U WANT NUDEZ?

URLgenio Velez, Vote Sale Edition

722

Allow me to enumerate, in this space, the myriad legitimate reasons that Chris Sale is not on the All-Star Team, which I will do now, so get your hopes up for more words, which are certainly coming

URLgenio Velez, Papelbon to Giants? Edition

797

That's not a real rumor though. Maybe I should have led with that.

URLgenio Velez, Sabey Sabes Edition

279

No one calls him that

URLgenio Velez, Diamondbacks Draftee Edition

789

Brandon McCarthy was not recently drafted by the Diamondbacks, yet his picture sits atop the article all the same.

URLgenio Velez, AMERICA EDITION

171

Not mentioned in the article: blowing some crap up, even though blowing crap up is awesome. AMERICA.

URLgenio Velez, Laughing at RAJ Edition

634

Though if you want it to be, every link dump can be Laughing at RAJ Edition.

URLgenio Velez, Barry Bonds Appeal Edition!

959

He has a lot of appeal to me, so Barry should win this pretty easily.

URLgenio Velez, Bad Royal Tippers Edition!

390

And we'll never be tippers (tippers), cash don't run in our blood

URLgenio Velez, Stanton Dingers Edition!

253

Giancarlo Stanton will hit dingers in the dinger contest. He will not, sadly, hit Dinger.

URLgenio Velez, Weird Pence Warm-up Edition!

485

It took a lot of restraint, but I didn't make a joke about him being an alien.

URLgenio Velez, TIMMAH Edition!

264

I don't think it's too much to ask for Lincecum to throw at least one no-hitter against the Padres every year. He's already proven he can do it, so now I guess it's just a matter of how much he...

URLgenio Velez, Crawford On Panik Edition!

572

Oh no, that was clickbaity and deceiving, wasn't it? There was an implication in the phrase "Crawford on Panik" that I certainly didn't intend and will make people more likely to click. Aw, darn, I...

URLgenio Velez, Delusional McCourt Edition!

312

He's a Value Creator, y'know.

URLgenio Velez, JACKS!!!!! edition

567

Who was a signability pick NOW, Giants fans? Oh, still Jacks? Right.

URLgenio Velez, Machi Mania Edition

327

Somehow the phrase "high cheese" didn't make it into this article.

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