What the...my Gameday post for last night was eaten. Here's what I had planned:

Remember when Elvis met Richard Nixon? How about when Babe Ruth met Ernest Hemingway? Dr. Dre (from N.W.A.) and Doctor Dre (from Yo! MTV Raps) probably met at some point, I would think. Sometimes, in this great big world of ours, the stars align and totally famous people meet to talk about totally famous stuff.

Which is all to say that I've been challenged to a tied-at-the-wrist knife fight like the one from "Beat It" invited to attend a game with El Lefty Malo. Our plan: Drink and yell at A.J. Pierzynski until Ozzie Guillen charges out of the dugout to try and bite off one of our ears. I hear you have to get special shots if that happens.

Warm up the paddywagon, SFPD. And suck it, A.J. Pierzynski.

You'd think that this post wouldn't have the same heft the morning after, but I think it is even more applicable for one single reason: Lefty looks exactly like Richard Nixon. Jowls, bulbous nose, paranoid distrust of unwashed counterculture types...it was actually pretty awkward how much he looked like Nixon.

Today's game is Zito vs. Buhrlelelhe. That's like Raquel Welch in a bikini showdown with Lauren Bacall. It probably would have been a legendary match-up in previous years. Right now...not so much.