Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

by PacBellBoozer on Jul 30, 2007 10:39 AM PDT

Listen up folks...we're at T-minus 37 hours or so, and I have a horrible feeling that nobody is going anywhere and the crap we're trotting out on the field day in, day out will still be doing their thing on Wed. AM.

This isn't a who would you trade diary, there's plenty of those out there. This is a diary full of hate, disdain, and vulgarity....all aimed at our newly re-upped GM.

What will the excuse be this year?

"We're not really sellers after this little streak we've been on."

"The Cards won't give us Pujols for Feliz straight up...so fuck em."

"Matt Mo doesn't want to leave, so we tried getting rid of Randy, but who'd of thought he'd use that no trade clause thingy."

"My hands are tied by the ownership. They are at fault for all of our past and future struggles. I'm the GM...but for christ-sakes...don't blame me when I bring in an asshole catcher from Minnesota for some very promising prospects. Hey...is that a horse that's being beaten over there?"

"We're looking for a Sidney Ponson, Ricky Ledee, Alex Sanchez kind of talent out there, and nobody is willing to give them up."

Open preemptive bitching thread...

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I am beginning to worry that we're not going to trade anyone and that every lineup in August and September will include Freddie Lewis, Nate Schierholtz and Kevin Frandsen on the bench.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 30, 2007 10:32 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I was ready to fly into a rage and rail at management if they made another stupid trade but I think I'll have a rage blackout if they stand completely pat.

Brian Sabean, you cannot win. Please commit seppuku now.

Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not facist: THE RETURN OF SF Dugout

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 30, 2007 10:34 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Wowie Baron...I had to wikipedia seppuku...Ritual suicide by disembowelment. I don't think you could have put it any better.

Omar Vizquel to Big Sam, "Barton, Viduka, Rozenhal, Geremi, Deco even?...way to go Gaffer, keep up the great work!"

by PacBellBoozer on Jul 30, 2007 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Even an honorble death is a little iffy here.

I think I'm going to be in a violent mood until the trading dealine...

Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not facist: THE RETURN OF SF Dugout

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 30, 2007 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

See, you could have my problem...no internet or cable at home until Wed. Morning. This way, at least I won't be checking the boards to see what ISN'T happening every 15 mins.

As a side note. Fuck off Comcast. I hate you and your dipshit service people.

Omar Vizquel to Big Sam, "Barton, Viduka, Rozenhal, Geremi, Deco even?...way to go Gaffer, keep up the great work!"

by PacBellBoozer on Jul 30, 2007 10:56 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Oh Lord Comcast can't do anything right either. I got digital cable last year. Had to reschedule twice because they showed up about an hour after they said they would on the first day to install the cable and I had already left to go to work. The second time, they didn't show up at all. Then when the digital cable lineup expanded, we did not get the new channels on the date it said we would. It took them about six weeks to get on the ball.

I hate them so much.

Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not facist: THE RETURN OF SF Dugout

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 30, 2007 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Plus they wanted $200 to install a wireless internet router in my house. I told them to fuck right off.

Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not facist: THE RETURN OF SF Dugout

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on Jul 30, 2007 11:18 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

In my case they had a tech at my building yesterday...the dipshit was setting up another apt. with their stuff and in the process disconnected all of my shit. It was working just fine until this idiot starts messing with the cablebox outside our small building. The cable, OK...I can live without that for a few nights, but the internet...kind of a necessary thing.

As for the wireless router...it's super easy to do if you're as tech savvy as I think you are. You just run a line from their cable modem into your router, then do the step-by-step with the router documentation. I set mine up...stumbled around a bit with some of the security systems...but now I've got me a hack-proof wireless apartment...when my internet is working that is.

F'ing Comcast.

Omar Vizquel to Big Sam, "Barton, Viduka, Rozenhal, Geremi, Deco even?...way to go Gaffer, keep up the great work!"

by PacBellBoozer on Jul 30, 2007 12:05 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

It's Comcastic!

by Sayhey on Jul 30, 2007 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Craptastic is more like it.

Omar Vizquel to Big Sam, "Barton, Viduka, Rozenhal, Geremi, Deco even?...way to go Gaffer, keep up the great work!"

by PacBellBoozer on Jul 30, 2007 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I think they mean the same thing.

by Sayhey on Jul 30, 2007 1:37 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

maybe we need a "Fuck Comcast" Diary because I hate those fuckers. Since January 2006, when I first subscribed to Digital Cable, I had about 7 different boxes in the first 12 months, then I moved and had 3 more in the first month because they kept malfunctioning. It's been better since then, but I changed my subscriber package and now things are all fucked up and they can't even get the bill correct. AND they now want me to pay for the NFL Network when it was previously included in the digital package I chose specifically because that package had the NFL Network!

What a bunch of fucking assholes!

The Fringe was right.

by nostocksjustbonds on Jul 30, 2007 11:59 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I'm with you on the new diary...all I want is a little bit of TV and a reliable internet connection. Is that too much to ask?

The woman at the call center was like, "We'll give you a credit until we're able to get out there and troubleshoot it." I'm like, "You're damn strait you'll give me a credit. I'm sans-internet and sans-cable TV...why the fuck would I pay for a service that I'm not receiving."

Omar Vizquel to Big Sam, "Barton, Viduka, Rozenhal, Geremi, Deco even?...way to go Gaffer, keep up the great work!"

by PacBellBoozer on Jul 30, 2007 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Brian Sabean: YOU TIGER NOW!

by zenbitz on Jul 30, 2007 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

that's pretty funny

"Brian Sabean I hope you're satisfied with what you've done..."

by The Gene Hackman on Jul 30, 2007 2:09 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I'm afraid nobody is getting traded, and my fear intensifies when I check new posts on MLB trade rumors and see that there are no giants being mentioned. Mets looking for a 2B? Apparently not Durham. Marinerse looking at Morris? Oh wait, they'd rather have Reyes.

On top of all this, i've read a few places that any moves the Giants make will happen in August because our players would clear waivers. I don't particularly trust that August trades will happen, and it isn't promising at all to know that all of the Giants trading chips would clear waivers.

The Cowart Report. Adam Cowart has been adopted

by April3rdLifeBegins on Jul 30, 2007 10:36 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Seriously, I'm not buying this "we'll get more with waiver trades in August" bullshit. A few teams that think they are contenders now might not in a few weeks.

Barry Zito: Mike Hampton with a guitar

by JakeS on Jul 30, 2007 10:37 AM PDT reply actions

Likewise

If they don't want to trade for the Giants player now why would they want to two weeks later? He goes on a mini Hot Streak and teams now will be all over him. This sounds more like Brian Sabean than other GMs.

by awesomer @ McCovey Chronicles on Jul 30, 2007 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Seriously, how do you build a veteran team that is both going to lose 95 games AND doesn't have a single trading chip on it? AND get a two year extension for your efforts.

You can tell this team is down the crapper when my girlfriend, who is a bigger Giants fan than I am, came home yesterday and said "Did Bonds hit the homer?!" and after I told her 'no' didn't even ask the score of the game.

Barry Zito: Mike Hampton with a guitar

by JakeS on Jul 30, 2007 10:41 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

By the way, I just noticed that Morris is now officially a below average pitcher (99 ERA+).

I hate him, so much... That... it... it... flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, heaving... breathes - , heaving breathes. Heaving breath...

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 30, 2007 10:42 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I expect nothing, therefore I won't be upset when it happens. Maybe a Steve Kline deal will happen, but I won't hold my breath.

The extra years for both Durham and Morris have been killers.

by KCE on Jul 30, 2007 10:45 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

A Steve Kline deal would be okay.

Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

by howtheyscored on Jul 30, 2007 6:02 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Pretty okay, even.

Barry Bombs gear | comics | Ray Durham is... yeah.

by Natto on Jul 30, 2007 6:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

On the okayness scale, it would be in the middle-to-upper range.

Steve Kline: He's pretty okay!

by groug on Jul 30, 2007 6:58 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Stop, stop! You're killing me!

Coming to you by proxy (I adopted: Dave Righetti!)

by howtheyscored on Jul 30, 2007 7:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I would like to use this diary to reiterate my stance that Matt Morris is the biggest douche-bag on the team. He began July with a 3.55 era, which is when Giants fans naively thought he might fetch a decent young position player in a trade. So here is how our veteran savvy pitcher performed in his final five starts before the trade deadline:

6.0IP 6ER
5.0IP 6ER
4.2IP 8ER
6.0IP 4ER
7.0IP 6ER

Throw in a half dozen mound tantrums, a semi-calling out of teammates, and the questioning of Barry's home run chase and there you have it. Matt Morris is a douche-bag.

by mxmob33 on Jul 30, 2007 10:52 AM PDT reply actions

#%(#^(^)@%#@#*#%#%^#%#n/t

WE FIGHT WARS! WE CHEAT ON SPOUSES! WE LISTEN TO THE STEVE MILLER BAND! BUT IF WE THROW OURSELVES INTO SOMETHING GLORIOUS AS BASEBALL ALL IS FORGIVEN!" -PECOTA

by nick @ McCovey Chronicles on Jul 30, 2007 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Wow, I was thinking of looking up those numbers myself but was kinda of afraid to. What a sucktastic suckmonster. yikes.

Plus, Sabean is a douche.

Merkin Valdez career SO/9: 10.8

by Poe on Jul 30, 2007 5:52 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I will not stand idly by while you defame a perfectly good feminine hygiene utensil by comparing it to Brian Sabean.

Have at you!!

Billy Hayes: Nine more big-league plate appearances than you.

by delorean on Jul 30, 2007 10:52 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Morris really blew it. How many starts of 4+ runs did he give up? We all knew he was pitching over his head but DAMN, couldn't you sprinkle in maybe one 5 inning and 3 run game to try to get some teams hopes up? If (and probably when) the giants suck for the next couple of seasons, Morris certainly is greatly responsible for his collapse when the giants needed him to play at least respectably.

The Cowart Report. Adam Cowart has been adopted

by April3rdLifeBegins on Jul 30, 2007 10:53 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

"I am not an idiot"
yes Brian, yes you are

by ResDog on Jul 30, 2007 10:57 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I love how we're already expecting nothing good to happen with the deadline. Well, I'd have to agree with you all on this one. Magowan and Sabean have been complaining about a lack of moves and interest on the market, which means to me that "yeah, we got no fuckin' clue what we're doing."

Ray Ratto wrote an article saying the same stuff . . .arrrgh.

I guess we'll have to wait until the offseason until we begin making moves?

Brian Anderson: generic name, unique talent.

by JT Jordan on Jul 30, 2007 10:59 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Wait until the off-season, where we resign Omar and Pedro to multi-year deals? No thank you.

With the current "management" in place, and I use that term lightly, we're screwed until Sabes, Magowan, or both are out of the equation. I'm sick of the excuses.

Omar Vizquel to Big Sam, "Barton, Viduka, Rozenhal, Geremi, Deco even?...way to go Gaffer, keep up the great work!"

by PacBellBoozer on Jul 30, 2007 11:03 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I expect Sabean to say something like:

"At the end of the day, getting what was talked about in return was not in the best interest of the organization."

Oh wait...he already did...last year.

Proud adoptive father of the All-Father and his 2.29 ERA

by EliminateMe on Jul 30, 2007 11:20 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I'll happily take Tim Alderson and Nick Noonan over Lastings Milledge or worse.

SFDugout.com - Returning Offseason 2007

by BruteSentiment on Jul 30, 2007 5:16 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Amen. I don't have a single bad word to say about the Jason Schmidt non-trade.

Unfortunately, I don't expect any of our veterans to lead to extra 2008 draft picks. Feliz, Bonds, Vizquel or Sweeney would certainly accept arbitration if offered; Klesko and Ortiz probably would as well.

"Robb Nen is going to get you" - Benito Santiago to Chipper Jones, 10/7/02

by Pants Man on Jul 30, 2007 6:29 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

You forgot " Magowan told me not trade anyone, we are going with the same old guys to build around Bonds next year"

Forget trading the old guys, Sabean must go first!!!!

by ramirez415 on Jul 30, 2007 11:21 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Dairy

Given that most of Sabean's post-2002 trades have been either bad, horrible or downright disastrous, wouldn't his standing pat right now be a good thing?

by tobias on Jul 30, 2007 11:24 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Eh, it takes two to tango, and Sabean needs a trading partner in order to make a trade. Even if it's just to dump salary, you still need someone to take it. If we're not even dumping salary, then what's the point?

But yeah, Sabean's a douche, he should be out there trading for Saltalamacchia, because we obviously have a better offer than Texiera for him...

Adopting Dave Roberts since 2007

by hometownboy on Jul 30, 2007 11:31 AM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

No one's saying he should be out there trading for Salty, but he should be trying to trade some of these guys for something.

Not to mention, as Jake said above, it's his own fault he built a veteran team with a bunch of veterans that no one wants to trade for.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 30, 2007 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Easy to say - "trade some of these guys for something" - but as I said, it takes a partner to make a trade. There have been, what, 2 trades in the last week for the entire major leagues? Maybe every GM in the business is a douche!

And yeah, this season was a crapshoot that crapped out, in a zillion ways. It's gonna take time to fix. How much does a deal getting done before the deadline mean to the long-term future of the club? I believe in the above-quoted Ray Ratto article it was mentioned that the kids would be getting more playing time in August and September, deadline deal or not.

Adopting Dave Roberts since 2007

by hometownboy on Jul 30, 2007 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I certainly hope they will. It seems like they said they were going to get more playing time (Fred Lewis in particular) a few weeks ago and since then, they've been on the bench most of the time.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 30, 2007 11:52 AM PDT up reply actions

Jason Kendall was traded FFS

Almost anyone on the Giants should be movable then (yes, I realize most of them have one more year on their contract, but C'MON, Jason Kendall.

by awesomer @ McCovey Chronicles on Jul 30, 2007 12:10 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Jason Kendall was traded FFS

Not to be nit-picky, but the Kendall trade was 2 weeks ago. :) But yeah, maybe we can Jedi mind trick someone else on the Cubs to throw punches at Zambrano, leading to another panic trade...

Adopting Dave Roberts since 2007

by hometownboy on Jul 30, 2007 12:17 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Well, I can think of 5 actually having taken place this weekend (Dan Wheeler, Jorge Cantu, Kenny Lofton, Scott Hairston and Seth McClung). Today there's been a big one and it seems there may be 3 more smaller ones either tonight or tomorrow morning involving Dotel, Dye, and Luis Castillo.

by Roger on Jul 30, 2007 12:47 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Don't forget Linebrink

"I'd take pleasure in gutting you boy" Oh and ignore the spelling. I do.....

by someguynamedg on Jul 30, 2007 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

6! Plus the Lohse deal that took place today, too.

by Roger on Jul 30, 2007 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

I totally agree. I think that Sean McAdam has a really good take on how we're conditioned to expect way too much from the trading deadline:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?id=2951690

I realize this diary was meant for venting (which is totally fine with me), but there you go.

by Skaldheim on Jul 30, 2007 12:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Doesn't matter

In theory, it would be worth trading Morris, Durham, Klesko, Vizquel, Feliz, Winn and Roberts for anything we can get, especially if the other team picks up the salary. None of these players will be a part of the next good Giants team and there is always the possibility that the B prospect we would get for them could blossom.

The one argument against that is the fact that if we move all the overpriced underperforming vets right now, Sabes will sign more in the offseason....crippling us longer. Sad that the smart moves have to be argued against, because the GM can't be trusted to do the right thing.

Ha Ha! Armando's the new Meg!

by The Balls of Summer on Jul 30, 2007 3:21 PM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Fyi, Seattle offered Balentein for Dotel while KY took Kyle Davies instead. Now, Steve Kline and Matt Morris combined aren't as good, but I wonder if you could pitch them both on the Mariners and ask for Balentein and a low-A arm back.

by Aadik on Jul 30, 2007 3:49 PM PDT reply actions

Guarantee that this doesn't occur to Sabes

But here's another thing: is it essentially a wasted draft if none of our top 3 sign by midnight tomorrow? I know we get compensation picks next year, but what the hell? Silver lining: do-over for bats. Shitty truth behind silver lining: Sabean will be in charge of the draft again next year.

FACK!

***

Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy

by hairball on Jul 30, 2007 3:54 PM PDT up reply actions

August 15th

by wilriv21 on Jul 30, 2007 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Guarantee that this doesn't occur to Sabes

no, the deadline is August 15th

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on Jul 30, 2007 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Guarantee that this doesn't occur to Sabes

Yeah, as Wil said, it's August 15th.

Plus, we've signed our #2 pick, Tim Alderson.

Brian Anderson: generic name, unique talent.

by JT Jordan on Jul 30, 2007 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions

Don't sweat MadBum and Fairley signing

Every indication out there is the Giants will sign their other two top picks. MadBum and Fairley are in the same boat with a lot of other first rounders who haven't signed yet. Teams are all waiting until near the end to see who jumps first and, presumably, goes above slot for their signings. MLB lowered their slot recommendations from last year, making things tighter this time around. The Giants actually went over the slot to sign Aldersson, but just barely. I expect they'll do the same for MadBum as well, pay above slot. Last I heard, which was quite a while ago, MadBum's agent was asking for $2.3 mil. Don't know if the Giants will have to go that high, but I'm sensing it will be above two mil. Just a guess.

by crazy crab on Jul 30, 2007 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions

Thanks

Clearly, there are more things in baseball than I have room for in my philosophy.

***

Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy

by hairball on Jul 30, 2007 5:43 PM PDT up reply actions

Danger Will Robinson...DANGER !!

Sorry, but I'm not about to let all the prospective trade talk out there clog my "Brian Sabean is a Douche" Diary.

Perhaps the most appropriate way to post what you did would be to do it this way...

"That douche Sabean is a tool...fyi, Seattle offered Balentein for Dotel while KY took Kyle Davies instead. Now, Steve Kline and Matt Morris combined aren't as good (Sabean is a douche to think that they are), but I wonder if you could pitch them both on the Mariners and ask for Balentein and a low-A arm back.

PS. Brian Sabean is a non 5-toolish kinda douche!

Omar Vizquel to Big Sam, "Barton, Viduka, Rozenhal, Geremi, Deco even?...way to go Gaffer, keep up the great work!"

by PacBellBoozer on Jul 30, 2007 5:00 PM PDT up reply actions

Thanks

That made me snort.

***

Succumb to the Enchanted t-shirt! Adopted dad of Minor Izzy

by hairball on Jul 30, 2007 5:42 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

This should be the Giants lineup for the rest of the year, I don't care what order they bat in:

LF: Bonds
CF: Lewis
RF: Schierholtz
2B: Frandsen
SS: Dreamy
C: Molina
1B: whoever our best (or should I say 'least sucky') prospect in the minors is
3B: Ditto 1B

I have NO interest in watching Feliz, Durham, Aurilia, Klesko, Winn, or Roberts play again this year. We should keep Dreamy in the lineup just cause it is fun to watch him play the field, and Molina is ok I suppose. If we can trade any of these others guys it would be fantastic, but I think Sabean is too much of a DOUCHEBAG FARTNUGGET to actually get a deal done.

Merkin Valdez career SO/9: 10.8

by Poe on Jul 30, 2007 5:59 PM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

GET GONE LOSERS

Feliz: Maybe you can catch a rowboat to Cuba, tell Castro you are escaping from the US. If you're lucky, you'll land a job as a batboy for Cuban National Team.

Durham: I'm sure you'll develop a real following on Baseball Tonight in place of the vacuous Fernando Vina

Aurilia: You can be a roadie for your wife. It still needs more cowbell

Klesko: You're still dazed and confused. Nice Career. Happy Trails.

Winn: Two choices. Accept the trade to the Drays for a package of chiclets, or enjoy the next two years being Zito's bullpen catcher.

Roberts: The stay was short. Unfortunately not short enough...pun intended. Have fun playing for Mr. Rourke on the Fantasy Island Flamingos.

Zito to the 60 Day DL "See you in Scottsdale. Stay out of the clubs, away from 19 year olds, and have your shit together or you will spend the next 6 years pitching slop innings out of the bullpen.

Morris "Matt. You're simply a Jackass...here's your suitcase and parting gifts of toilet-bowl cleaner for the mess you left on our pitching mound. You may want to take it with you to your next stop, coming out of the pen for The Bumfuck Alabama NosePicks

Barry Zito -- Catch Me if You Can.

by E Ticket on Jul 30, 2007 6:25 PM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

The only consolation is that, after a vote of the galaxy's most wise ones, we know that John Edwards (the astrologer, not the politician) is the Biggest Douce In the Universe.

I got one word for you: "youneverknow"

by senorvegas on Jul 30, 2007 8:07 PM PDT reply actions

PRE-EMPTIVE SABEAN DEFENSE

Well, we did do the adoptions at the beginning of the season, and I guess this is the very kind of thing we're supposed to address.

....

Well, I guess there's some truth to the statement that given what we have to trade to other teams and what's realistically available out there from other teams, that there really aren't many plays that will improve the Giants. Assuming this year is gone (good assumption, that), then we should only make trades that dump salary, improve our future chances, or both. I'm not seeing where any of those three permutations is possible. Nice of the L.Fringe to think that perfect trades are as plentiful as coyotes and vagrants in Golden Gate Park, but they aren't. Tough pickings out there, and we don't exactly have billions of dollars to throw around.

Angels fly because they take Brian Sabean lightly.

by Mayor of 311 on Jul 30, 2007 8:28 PM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Didn't Sabean make some comment about the "difficulty of making trades, while being perceived as a lame-duck G.M." Well... you got your contract extension, Brian... now where is the trade?

I am actually in favor of keeping Bonds, Winn, Klesko, Vizquel, and Molina, both the rest of this year, and one-year extensions in 2008. With second base, Durham needs to hit 2nd or 7th, or get traded to let Frandsen hit in .240 at 1/20th the price.

The Giants should seek new 3B & RF. A-Rod and Hunter are intriguing-- will the ownership step-up this off-season?

Defender of Noah Lowry.

by Kid Fresh on Jul 30, 2007 8:40 PM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Well, Santalamacchia is heading to the Rangers and the Mets filled their second base needs...not looking good.

by cheno on Jul 30, 2007 8:45 PM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

And Morris still sucks.

Unless they start playing Lewis, Frandsen and bring up Shierholtz, I really have nothing to look forward too for the rest of the season, besides every 5th day when Timmy pitches and Barry taking his two walks a game.

I don't see myself watching a lot of this crappy team the rest of the year.

Forget trading the old guys, Sabean must go first!!!!

by ramirez415 on Jul 30, 2007 9:38 PM PDT up reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

Its closing time, the lights just came up, and that pretty young thing is a pock-faced middle aged crack-whore, your mouth tastes like an ashtray full of flat beer, and you just discovered your wallet's missing.

YOUR 2007 SAN FRANCISCO GIANT SEASON TICKET HOLDERS

Barry Zito -- Catch Me if You Can.

by E Ticket on Jul 30, 2007 10:12 PM PDT up reply actions

I am a patient Giant Fan

Hey. Pocks ain't the worst thing in the world, and she says that honestly, she's only experimented with crack and prostitution a few times...

by Moggeee on Jul 30, 2007 11:13 PM PDT up reply actions

Blanton being shopped with LA

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2007/07/dodgers-pursuin.html

According to ESPN's Buster Olney, the Dodgers are going after 26 year-old Oakland starter Joe Blanton. Blanton would add some stability and would find the NL to his liking.

The discussion is centered around three frontline prospects going to Oakland. Olney names Andy LaRoche, Andre Ethier, Matt Kemp, Clayton Kershaw, and Jonathan Meloan as possibilities. I'm thinking the A's wouldn't mind Chin-Lung Hu either.

It figured that Billy Beane would see what Blanton might bring in a market devoid of decent starting pitchers."

Hello Brian, if you're reading this this is exactly what you should be doing with Lowry as well. There's no reason Lowry probably couldn't command two from this group with the numbers he's put up this year (which I don't think are sustainable), maybe even a lesser prospect on top of it.

At the very least toss his name out there and see what happens (and yes I know he could be doing that now and we just don't know about it, but chances are, he's just a Douche).

by awesomer @ McCovey Chronicles on Jul 30, 2007 9:47 PM PDT reply actions

Re: Preemptive: Brian Sabean is a Douche Diary

trades of players like Lowry are best pursued after the season and not during the season with the clock ticking. As you saw, Blanton wound up not being traded either. The July 31 trade deadline is almost exclusively a time when the contract is the reason for the deal. A player like Noah Lowry has value at any time of the year.

Randy Messenger: "Who's that fat ugly guy in the Marlin's bullpen that's sitting in my seat??"

by rxmeister on Jul 31, 2007 1:36 PM PDT reply actions