Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

by Rude thoughtless little pig on May 4, 2007 6:05 PM PDT

This FanPost is reader-generated, and it does not necessarily reflect the views of McCovey Chronicles. If the author uses filler to achieve the minimum word requirement, a moderator may edit the FanPost for his or her own amusement.

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Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Timmy can beat the life out of Chuck Norris with both hands tied behind his back.  

Proud adoptive papa of the one, the only, Omar Vizquel.

by PacBellBoozer on May 4, 2007 6:05 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

The Enchanter's rosin bag is filled with the ground bones of his victims.

Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?

by shikantaza on May 4, 2007 6:49 PM PDT reply actions  

Tim can do a backflip.

No. Really.

http://www.sjgiants.com/ArDisplay.aspx?ID=463&SecID=27

by JonnyDomestik on May 4, 2007 8:38 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim can beat David Hasselhoff in a drinking contest.

Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz

by lyricalkiller on May 4, 2007 9:17 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim's Golden Spikes are made of real gold.

by Rude thoughtless little pig on May 4, 2007 9:39 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

He can guard Baron Davis, 1 on 1.

Tim Lincecum has been freed!

by nostocksjustbonds on May 4, 2007 9:49 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

another 1-2-3 inning from Benitez. what is the world coming to?

Tim Lincecum has been freed!

by nostocksjustbonds on May 4, 2007 9:53 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

He was inspired by the forthcoming arrival of Lincecum.

Mandowear | comics | Sugarman FTW

by Natto on May 4, 2007 10:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

I hate when I switch from the gameday thread and don't realize it. Damn Tequila.

Tim Lincecum has been freed!

by nostocksjustbonds on May 5, 2007 12:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Even Matt Cain is in awe of Tim Lincecum.

Adopted father of the All-Father - 0.00 ERA, .154 BAA as of 4/26

by EliminateMe on May 4, 2007 10:55 PM PDT reply actions  

Did You Know....

...that when Timmy throws long toss, he stands outside the stadium and his partner stands outside the stadium on the OTHER SIDE!!

by DrBGiantsfan on May 4, 2007 11:24 PM PDT reply actions  

This Is, Of Course........

....after Timmy has thrown 146 pitches the day before.

by DrBGiantsfan on May 4, 2007 11:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

...the stadium on the other side...

...of the CONTINENT!

Ever hopeful for all our rising stars, like Tim and Cain ... and David B. Flemming!

by giantnitpick on May 6, 2007 1:59 AM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

When Timmy walks past Cammy Blackstone and Runel, they turn into Scarlett Johanssen and Halle Berry. Unfortunately the effect only lasts for 30 seconds, not long enough for Timmy to actually do them, because Timmy can go for days at a time!!

Armando "Houdini" Benitez countdown to 300 saves: 287

by rxmeister on May 5, 2007 7:09 AM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim can hit a #1 iron.

The force is strong in Ryan Klesko. We'll rule the galaxy as father and son. 296/345/407 as of 4/24/07

by Goofus on May 5, 2007 7:53 AM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

The Gaints have already given him 2 lockers, a recliner chair, and his own TV in the clubhouse.

by Rude thoughtless little pig on May 5, 2007 8:26 AM PDT reply actions  

MINCE CULT MI

We believe.

by GameSix on May 5, 2007 9:07 AM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Timmy is like Omar, Derek and Alex, only rolled into one big nice package.

I luv when the Giants play in SoCal

by Jessica Alba on May 5, 2007 10:07 AM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Actually, at 5'10" and 155 lbs, he's a rather small package.

If he were to face Randy Johnson, someone could make a sign that says "We take our small package over your big unit any day."

The force is strong in Ryan Klesko. We'll rule the galaxy as father and son. 296/345/407 as of 4/24/07

by Goofus on May 5, 2007 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim Lincecum throws an enchanted pitch that can strike out the side with one toss.

If I have a son, I want him to grow up to be like Billy Sadler

by MeSoKrabby on May 5, 2007 10:22 AM PDT reply actions  

Tim Lincecum: SF Giant

by wilriv21 on May 5, 2007 11:06 AM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum: SF Giant

He's going to ground into a double play tomorrow?

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on May 5, 2007 12:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

He's OURS. For a LONG time.

by wilriv21 on May 5, 2007 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim Lincecum once had to plunk a guy.  The batter swung at the pitch and missed.  And then died.

"When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

by multiphasic on May 5, 2007 12:22 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim Lincecum super-kicked Shawn Michaels through a barbershop window.

David Arnott
Sportszilla -- Kickass Sports Writing
Adopted EME

by David A. Arnott on May 5, 2007 12:49 PM PDT reply actions  

Nice

Mandowear | comics | Sugarman FTW

by Natto on May 5, 2007 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim Lincecum's curveball renders grown men impotent.

by LittleCableCars on May 5, 2007 1:24 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

...And renders grown women pregnant.

by English Professor on May 5, 2007 1:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

I had some friends who lived with Tim in the dorms

In his freshman year dorm room in college, Tim Lincecum had a magnetic dart board. He threw the darts so hard that he did significant damage to the wall, and had to pay a bunch of money to get it fixed.

by elduderino on May 5, 2007 1:55 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim was actually supposed to be 6'5", but because he struck out Jesus Christ when he was just a fetus the Lord cursed him with the body of an 11 year old for all of time.

by LittleCableCars on May 5, 2007 2:19 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

On the front on Timmy's Jockstrap is the word: GIGANTE

I luv when the Giants play in SoCal

by Jessica Alba on May 5, 2007 2:27 PM PDT reply actions  

Ding ding ding!

Winner!

Saving countless runs with my Brian Horwitz

by lyricalkiller on May 5, 2007 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

He will make his enterance to the mound Sunday night by walking across McCovey Cove.

by Rusty the Mechanical Man on May 5, 2007 2:51 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

The original 2007 All Star Game logo was actually Tim the Enchanter's headshot.  But when MLB said that it was too player specific the author retorted "Fine, well how about a drawing of him throwing his curveball into the cove?"

Bud Selig found himself unable to reject the commissioning of such a beautiful masterpiece.

by LittleCableCars on May 5, 2007 3:36 PM PDT reply actions  

Lincecum Loves Lamp

by RangerMoto on May 5, 2007 3:53 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Lincecum Loves Lamp

Lamp Loves Lincecum

"Some guys are admired for coming to play, as the saying goes. I prefer those who come to kill."

by SigChiJas on May 5, 2007 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim is so cool he is best friends with Prince.

by Rusty the Mechanical Man on May 5, 2007 8:04 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

and tim beat prince in a b-ball game, then served his ass some delicious pancakes.

by SloIsLonelyForTheOrange on May 6, 2007 2:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Tim Lincecum knows that the other team's left fielder is a bum without even having to be told by the guys in the bleachers.

"When I think of how many times the Enemy has tried to kill Tyler Walker..."

by multiphasic on May 5, 2007 8:27 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

This one is my favorite.

Matt Cain: He'll save children, but not the Dodger children.

by jponry on May 6, 2007 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

You know how Santa has his "helpers?" When Jesus appears to people in tortillas and muffins and stuff, that's not actually Jesus. It's Lincecum filling in for him.

Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 5, 2007 8:32 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

You know who called the Giants for pictures of Lincecum from different angles?  The keepers of Mt. Rushmore.

Angels fly because they take Brian Sabean lightly.

by Mayor of 311 on May 5, 2007 9:46 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

A group of Tibetan monks had Tim pegged as the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama, but upon seeing him throw, decided he could do more to change the consciousness of the world as a pitcher.

For just pennies a day, you too can make a difference in the life of a Giants player...like Kevin Correia.

by VidaWantsYourCar on May 6, 2007 3:03 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

Remember the Cha-Cha bowl? Better check again, the Giants already remaned it, now it's the Cum-Cum bowl.

by Rusty the Mechanical Man on May 6, 2007 4:42 PM PDT reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

...who would want to eat that?

Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Not boring: Emmanuel Burriss. Not fascist: SF Dugout

by BaronVonCurrentEvents on May 6, 2007 8:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

Re: Tim Lincecum Facts Diary

White and black people want Tim Lincecum to break the record.

Mandowear | comics | Sugarman FTW

by Natto on May 6, 2007 9:03 PM PDT reply actions  

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