You remember the 2012 All-Star Game. Man, that was fun. Matt Cain pitched two scoreless innings, Pablo Sandoval tripled in three runs in the first inning, Melky Cabrera went 2 for 3 with a homer and was named the game’s MVP, and at some point FOX’s cameras caught then-Dodger and always-unfortunately-tattooed Matt Kemp saying the game was “the San Francisco Giants show.” My question to you is: How could tonight’s game be even more satisfying to a Giants fan?
You may wonder why I’m going with the 2012 game over the 1934 game where Carl Hubbell struck out five future Hall of Famers in a row (and 6 of his first 9 batters faced, if you include pitcher Lefty Gomez). There are a couple reasons. The first is that the rest of the Giants who appeared didn’t really distinguish themselves. Mel Ott, Bill Terry, and Travis Jackson combined to go 1 for 7 with a walk, so it was more an individual effort than a whole team one. The second is that you know what Johnny Cueto would have to do to even come close to that record. It would be strike out the first six batters or bust. That would be a boring article, so 2012 it is.
How did the Giants do in 2012?
Matt Cain: 2 IP, 1H, 0R, 1K, 0BB
Melky Cabrera: 2-3, HR, 2 R, 2 RBI, 1 MVP
Buster Posey: 0-2, 1 BB, 1 R, 0.00 catcher’s ERA
Pablo Sandoval: 1-2, 3B, 1 R, 3 RBI
Good showing, everyone! Not so much you, Buster, but that just means you have something to improve on. Now, since the Giants have three guys on the roster this year, they each have to do a little more work to really outshine that 2012 team. Let’s break it down individually.
Johnny Cueto will start the game and, unless he Reuschels pretty hard, will throw two innings. The first six batters in the AL lineup are Jose Altuve, Mike Trout, Manny Machado, David Ortiz, Xander Bogaerts, and Eric Hosmer. If Cueto throws two scoreless innings with two or more strikeouts, especially if it’s Trout, Machado, or Ortiz who strike out, then that will surpass Cain’s start.
To beat Carl Hubbell, he’ll have to strike out all of them, and then in 30 years, they’ll all have to be in the Hall of Fame. We can probably just ... not bother with that.
Buster Posey will be the starting catcher and will get 2 or 3 ABs. As the starting catcher, he’s also going to handle the pitching staff, so them not giving up any runs while he’s behind the plate will really help our case here. But as a batter, he’s going to need to do some damage. He’ll have to go at least 1-2 with an extra base hit, which is tough! He’ll be facing All-Stars, and All-Stars are very good at pitching.
It’s not especially likely that Brandon Belt will get more than one AB. While the Beltiest thing possible – striking out looking on a 3-2 fastball that’s three inches outside – would lead to a fantastic shoulder slump, that wouldn’t help us here. No, what we need is a Brandon Belt homer and then a Brandon Belt bat drop. And then, perhaps, a Brandon Belt MVP award. We’re living in the Brandon Belt Epoch, people. Time to learn some respect.
Then, after Belt’s pinch hit homer, Madison Bumgarner also pinch hits and hits a home that goes even farther than Belt’s. And if you’re thinking we’re into stupid fanfic territory here, well, we were there from minute 1 of this article, so why not go all the way?
The moral of this story is that man, that 2012 game was a lot of fun and the Giants should do that every year.